Breathe

Chapter 15: Fear is Fine

Chapter 15: Fear is Fine

"Chief!" Bailey called after Richard once the commotion in the ER died out.

"I know what you want to talk about Miranda and it's fine." Richard said as Bailey began to explain her request.

"Let's keep Ael... wait what?" Bailey started and quickly stopped at the realization of his words.

"She can stay this next week too. She has no family. And well her adoptive family, that is, us, is here all the time, everyday." He explained.

"Ok that's good then." Bailey said and walked away.

Richard watched her go and chuckled to himself while shaking his head. Bailey would not say it but these interns were pretty much her kids and she worried over them. He thought it was sweet though he would never mention that to her.

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Aelwyne woke up after a few hours feeling warm, cozy, and light. For the first time in a week she felt somewhat rested. She had not opened her eyes just yet. She was just taking in the warmth and comfort and the vanilla scent emanating from the pillow. This pillow felt peculiar to her. It was warm and it was... it was actually moving. The movement was steady, just a rise and fall. She slowly opened her eyes and as they adjusted she saw that her pillow was not a pillow but a sleeping redhead.

Her breath caught as she took in the sleeping form of Addison Montgomery. Slowly she remembered pulling the attending to bed with her. She calmed herself breathing in and out slowly and made sure she did not move an inch because she was going to enjoy every second of being in Addison's arms. She felt calm in there though slightly nervous. Addison had indeed been playing with her but still she was not completely sure about the game. She was not certain the redhead actually felt something for her. She was not entirely certain of what she felt either.

With Ethan she had thought it was love but Addison was so different. Addison made her feel safe and maybe Ethan had at some point but it was not the same feeling of security. Addison made her feel calm. She was in her mind every second of every day. She wanted to know if Addison felt the same. Though the thought that she may not scared her so much.

'What would Addison do if she found out everything she makes me feel? Would she run for the hills? Would she keep her distance? I mean I am broken. Who would want to deal with my baggage? They don't know half of it. They know about Ethan but they don't know about my family. They don't know just how alone I am. Just how messed up my birth was.' Aelwyne kept going over all of these thoughts.

"I can feel you thinking really hard." Addison said, her voice low from sleep.

"I... I'm sorry. I..." Aelwyne began to pull away nervously.

"Where are you going? You'll fall out of bed. Then we'll lose all this progress." Addison said, slightly tightening her grasp on her.

"I umm... well I" Aelwyne tried again.

"If it bothers you that I'm here I'll get up. Just stay there, I'll go." Addison said, beginning to untangle herself from Aelwyne.

"No!" Aelwyne said quickly her voice wavering a bit as she reached for her once more. "Don't leave. Please. Don't."

"What's wrong?" Addison said, concerned wiping the tears away from Aelwyne's face.

"Sorry." Aelwyne said between sobs and settled on Addison's chest holding on to the front of her shirt.

"I'm right here Ael. I'm not going anywhere. I promise." Addison whispered. "You'll be ok."

Aelwyne didn't even know why she was crying. Well she knew why but she did not understand how her own body had betrayed her like that. She had always been strong. Always been able to shut things down. But with Addison she could not do it. With Addison her mask of composure wavered. She tried to calm down, to make the tears stop but she failed.