After 6 long weeks in the ICU, we're finally back to our room in the oncology unit. Your body is still very weak, you can barely hold your eyes open and you are always freezing. That's why they stopped giving you chemo for the next week, so you can recover. This week they are going to to do many scans and tests to decide how your treatment plan will look like. I hope you have no evidence of disease, called NED. Then two stem cell transplants will follow, it's the only way to save your life. Chemo can only prolong your life, it's not enough to heal you. Neuroblastoma is so evil. The treatment you have left will be very hard on you and do a lot of harm to your body. There are many longterm side effects that are really scary. Higher risk of heart and kidney failure, secondary cancer and infertility. You will never be completely healthy again. Chemo is poison for your body. I'm so sorry you have to do this. But it's the only way you can live. Otherwise you die. We need to make decisions that are awful. Like a stupid game of would you rather. Die or have secondary cancer? Die or infertility? It's so horrible. There needs to be a cure somewhere. This can't be the best possible treatment. There are more side effects than the effect it should have on you. Why is there no more research? You and every other kid fighting cancer deserve better treatment. Treatment that is not so harmful for your body.
You are playing on your tablet again. That's the only thing you have enough energy left for. Before cancer you were so happy and energetic. Now you cry the entire time and don't come out of your bed. Cancer changes you. And I hate this change so much.
A week ago 2018 started. We didn't wish each other a happy new year, because you were in the ICU fighting for your life while others were celebrating the new year. We cried and begged God to let you live while others were laughing. 2017 has been the most horrible year ever. You suffered so much baby girl. There was barely any laughter in the last half year. Cancer ruins our lives, I will hate it forever for what it did to you.
YOU ARE READING
Life of a Childhood Cancer Warrior - Emi's Journey
RandomEmi, a little girl from California, lives a normal life until she goes to the hospital complaining about stomach pain. There her world is turned down. She gets diagnosed with cancer at just 4 years old. Here you can read about her journey. *This st...
