Life of a Childhood Cancer Warrior - Emi's Journey

Worst conversation ever

We are 3 weeks in the ICU now. You are still on life support, fighting for your life. Nothing has changed, it's still so bad. Only our hope for a miracle gets less with every second. Mom and the doctors sat down with me the other day and tried to explain me that if you don't wake up in the next 5 days, they will stop the machines which keep you alive. They want to kill you baby girl. This can't be true. How can they even think about this? I won't let them do this. I won't let them kill you. I promise you.

They say your organs are too damaged, that's why they don't see any hope you will wake up again. But I still pray for your recovery. You just need to. Kids shouldn't die. They should live. Baby girl, I'm so incredibly scared. What would I do if you died? I don't know. They of imagining that is already way too big. I don't want to live without you. You are the most beautiful treasure here on earth. Losing you would be the most painful thing ever. That's why I'm begging you, wake up. You have only got a few days left. Show us that you are a miracle. Please live baby girl. I can't live without you and I don't want to. I will stay strong for you for as long as I need, I promise you. My only wish is that you open your eyes again. Please.

I'm laying in your bed, I'm allowed to cuddle you again. I feel your heart beating. You are still alive. And as long as you are alive, there is still hope. And being so close to you is the only thing that can calm me right now. But seeing you like this still makes me cry so much. Our pillow is completely wet. I'm sorry for that. This just breaks me. You don't deserve this and I don't know how long you are able to fight. Your body is so exhausted. But I'm able to sleep a little. Thank you God for letting her live, so I can cuddle her close. Please don't let her lose this battle, I need her. Keep fighting baby girl, you got this.