chapter 1 : b

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an: i just went back and edited this chapter a tiny bit after almost 2 years but i might just rewrite this whole thing idk yet

EMILY'S POV:

when i walked into the doors of the bau this morning, something felt different.  good different.  i walked over and sat down in the bullpen, when Derek and Penelope walked up whispering their dirty little jokes at each other. 

Derek laughed, and said "babygirl, you gotta stop acting up on the phone, cause if Strauss hears you again we might both just get fired". 

"you know you love me, my chocolate thunder",  Penelope says. 

"oh great, you two are back at it again",  i manage to mumble before we all burst into laughter.  we go on to talk about how we hope there's no huge cases today as it is Friday, and we want to go home for the weekend.  I've been so happy lately, but i still can't help from feeling like i'm missing something.

i think i want company? yea that's probably it.  "maybe i'll get a cat or something this weekend", i think to myself, "but then who will take care of it when i'm away on cases."

      i'm arguing with myself in my head when JJ walks in.  we've been getting really close lately and it makes me happy, because we just had this instant connection, different then me and Pen had. we obviously aren't as close as Penelope and i, but maybe someday.

i get lost in my thoughts until the blonde bau agent sits on my desk and waves her hand in front of my face saying, "em? you there?" 

"oh, sorry, yea i'm here".  i whisper, as I'm slowly snapping back to reality. 

"do you know if we have a case today? i really wanna go out tonight, but obviously we can't if there's a case" i ask her. 

"as of right now, we don't.  but we all know how fast things change around here."  she laughs.  "by the way.... where do you wanna go, and can i come with?!" JJ looks all sorts of excited now.

i should've known though, because she loves to go out on Friday nights. "i don't know yet, and i was gonna ask you and Pen,if you had any ideas.  i was thinking we could have a girls night?". 

Penelope hears me say the words "girls night" over from where she's standing at Derek's desk.  we start working out the details when Hotch walks out of his office and announces that we have a new case.

  "great, i was already looking forward to tonight" JJ sighs.

  "conference room in 5," Hotch says sternly. 

we all meet in at the round table where JJ sits on my left, and Spence on my right.  Penelope explains to us that the unsub we're looking for is targeting couples and individuals that are apart of the LGBTQIA+ community.  all 5 of the victims were killed in the past 2 weeks and were asphyxiated.  the two couples were displayed publicly and positioned holding hands, laying on the ground in local parks.  the individual murdered was sat on a park bench with a cross spray painted in white on the ground next to him.  the two couples had the same cross mark between them as well.

"did you know that 16.7% of all hate crimes are committed against the lgbtq+ community" reid blurts out.

when the pictures of 2 of the women pops up on the screen, i think i'm going to be sick.  i get up and run to the bathroom. 

a few minutes pass and i hear footsteps.  i quickly splash water on my face to make it less puffy and red, from the crying.  i turn when i hear the door open behind me, and see that JJ ran after me, probably because Pen has to finish presenting.  when she notices that i've been crying, she walks over and pulls me into a hug. 

"em what happened in there?! are you alright?"

yea Jayje I'm fine, it's just that I'm secretly gay and none of you know, because the last time i came out to someone he beat the shit out of me, and i had to move across the country. i want to tell her, to tell someone at least.

"yea i'm fine"

"emily prentiss. do not lie to me, it's pretty obvious when you do. you have a tell, you know." 

"no i do not!" i exclaim loudly.

"em you totally do, whenever you lie you play with your necklace" JJ points out.

"i am fine", she looks at me with pity in her eyes.

this is what i was trying to avoid. i'm fine, she needs to stop looking at me like that.

"emily, you know you can tell me anything."  i hesitate at first, but can tell that she's being genuine.  "when i was 16 or 17, I realized that i like girls..."

i started to stop talking out of fear of that she'll see me different, but I see her face and realize that she is unfazed.  

she says nothing, so i continue talking, "about 2 years ago, just before i joined the bau, i came out to one of my friends, and he beat me up. really bad too, he broke my wrist and i got a concussion from him throwing me against a wall."


JJ'S POV:

emily's explaining to me why she ran out of the briefing room a few minutes ago, and my heart is breaking.

  how did i not know? i know we aren't super close but i feel like i should've picked up on this at least a little.

"oh my god emily, i am so sorry that happened to you.  i'm so proud of you for telling me though." i say when she's done talking.

"you can't tell anyone though, not even pen knows."  i can't help but to think to myself that emily looks so pretty standing there.

"of course, i would never do that.  coming out is such a big deal.  i never really got to though, because when i told my parents they weren't all that surprised.  the rest of the team knows that i'm bi, but i don't think i officially told you, because it never really came up."

"that's awesome jayje!  i'm so glad you know now though" she says "because there's just always so much going on and I never told anyone and i'm so overwhelmed."  emily just kept rambling and it was adorable.

"em, your secret's safe with me, always. i-"  i get cut off when penelope walks in and says that we have to be on the jet in 20, and that derek will brief us when we get there.






authors note :

hey people! (if anyone ever reads this) i've read a few stories with similar concepts, and figured that this would be a good place to start. this is my first time writing a fanfic so bare with me. let me know if anyone has any suggestions on how to improve for the next chapter (if i write one). also, let me know if anyone thinks i should write another chapter. i know it's not long, but i don't want to write a ton if no ones gonna read it. 

edit :
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wc: 1,201 words

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