Marvel One Shots

Forgiveness (TFATWS Bucky)

Where Bucky goes to Tony's grave because he's the last one on his forgiveness list
N/A: I'm sorry for this

Bucky woke up from heat another one of his nightmares. Every night, in his dreams, he relived moments of his life he would rather have forgotten.
He was there, when he killed all those innocent people on behalf of Hydra, trapped into his own body. It was like something had possessed his mind, leaving only a tiny space for Bucky. He knew what he was doing, but he couldn't rebel and when he did, another brainwash was ready for him. And this is why he remembered everyone he had ever killed.
Bucky sat on the floor of his living room, shirtless and only slightly covered by a blanket. His forhead was covered in sweat and he was heavily breathing.
Bucky looked at the blank wall in front of him. A cold shiver ran down his spine. He kept relieving the worst of all his crimes, the night of the 16th December 1991.
Bucky picked up his little booklet, opening it. He read trough the list, every name was already crossed off. All exept for one. Tony Stark. Tony was the only person on his list he hadn't apologised to and the one that couldn't give him forgiveness.
Bucky leaned the head on the wall behind him, looking at the ceiling, trying to keep the tears to come out.
Out it was still dark, it was a bit after midnight. Bucky got dressed. He closed the zip of his leather jacket, put on the hood of his sweatshirt and took his gloves.
At first he only wanted to walk through the city, feeling the cold night air on his face. He wandered aimlessly for a couple of hours, listening to the noises of the city. He was just following his instincts, without thinking abut where he was going.
He arrived in front of the big iron gate of the cemetery where Tony's gave was laid, a few feet from Steve's. Bucky looked at Steve's grave, lightly smiling at it but he just walked ahead to Tony's.
Bucky sat on the ground in front of the stone. He was looking at his hands, fearing to look up. He scratched his neck and finally spoke.
"Tony... geez this is harder than I thought. Honestly I don't even know why I'm here, it's not like you can hear me, can you? If you can, just give me a sign.- Bucky chuckled, shooting his head- What am I even saying? A sign?"
A cold wind blew caressed Bucky's cheek.
"Was it you? Let's pretend it's you just for the sake of the arrgument. Tony I'm sorry. I really am. I know these are just worlds in the wind, quite literally, but I can't go on anymore without having said this. Saying that I'm sorry won't bring you back your parents, I know. I was a coward, I didn't have the strength to tell you this when you... well, when you were still alive. I'm sorry for everything I've caused you. It was never meant to go down like that, because of me you lost everything dear to you, you parents and Steve. I got to tell you this, he's resting now, just a few feet from you. You don't need to forgive me, Tony"
Bucky stood up and put a hand on Tony's grave.
"I hope you're happy, wherever you are"