If I Could Tell You- Reddie

1: I'm Not . . .

past

When Richie's hair first started to grow in his parents expected a dark red streak of color in his soft locks. Both of his parents had dark thick streaks of red in their hair so it came as a surprise when their precious baby boy grew a streak of blue.

"This is absurd. How did he grow a streak of blue in his hair? We both have red genes. He should have been red." Maggie was frustrated with a 2-year-old over something he couldn't control. Richie stared at her with his big brown eyes.

"You do remember that my mother has a streak of blue in her hair right?" Wentworth questioned his wife.

"Yes."She grumbled before walking out of the room leaving Wentworth and Richie on the couch. Wentworth knew why his wife was upset it was frowned upon for two people with different colored streaks to get married. Their oldest and only daughter named Lillian had never met his parents. Wentworths Father had a light red streak were as his Mother flashed a dark blue streak.

Present

"So Richie you filled out the dorm application right?" Wentworth asked his son at dinner, before putting a bite of roasted chicken and mashed potatoes in his mouth.

"Yep filled it out a week ago when it was due. I don't want to be put with some rando." Richie laughed. It was a rare location that the Toziers ate dinner together but this was a special occasion. It was the last dinner Richie would have with his parents until Christmas break.

"So who's name did you put down?" Maggie asked while getting up to put her dish in the sink.

"Eddie Kaspbrak." Both parents went silent.

"Richie dear did you read the rules. They stated in fine print that no person is allowed to the dorm with someone who has a different color streak. "

"Great, Just Peachey. Now I'll be put with some random person who either hates me or doesn't know me." Richie huffed, slouching his seat.

"Relax son, you'll be fine. Think of it this way 5 schools flood into this high school the chances of dorming with someone you know is one to four." Wentworth smiled hoping it would make Richie look on the bright side of things.

"I mean I guess you're right ," Richie shrugged, walking upstairs.

"And where do you think you going mister, we still have to clean up." Wentworth was disappointed in his son for leaving the table without even taking his plate to the sink.

"Sorry," Riche ran down the stairs to put his plate in the sink. "I'm making sure I have everything I need for school." He smiled, walking back to his room to go over his checklist.

1. Clothes/Pajamas

2. Toiletries

3. Shoes/sandals (doesn't matter how many)

4. Bedsheets

5. Uniforms

6. Pillow

7. Medication (If needed)

8. Textbooks

9. Anything you need for your dorm

10. School supplies

Richie stared down at his two duffle bags full of stuff wondering if he should call Eddie to see what he was bringing. He ran down the hall to the telephone, dialing the Kaspbraks number.

"Hello." I faint voice was heard in the background which Richie quickly made out to be Eddie. He heard Sonia lecture, Eddie, over the phone as he was trying to get the phone out of Sonia's grubby fat hands.

"Hey Rich, you packed." Eddies giggly voice could be heard on the other end of the line

"Yeah, Ed's I just wanted to ask how many duffle bags you were bringing."

"Okay A: don't call me Ed's and B: I have two duffle bags and one very large backpack." Eddie sounded excited he was finally getting out of his mother's clutches and off into the real world.

"Ahh, you know you like it," Richie smirked. Luckily for Eddie Richie couldn't see his beat red face right now.

"See you tomorrow Rich." Eddie frantically hung up the phone. Richie sighed before going back to his bedroom and flopping onto his messy bed. He looked over at his clock. Seeing that it was almost 9:00 pm Richie ran to hop into a quick shower.

He stepped into the cold room. He turned the handle to heat the water, letting his reflection get foggy before turning the heat down and stepping in. He let the cool water run down his frail body. Richie stood there for a few moments lost in his world. The whats if ran through his head.

What if my roommate was someone I knew

What if they hate me

What if I hate them

What if they spread rumors about me and the whole school will hate me

What if my teacher hates me

What if Eddie doesn't want to see me because of his new friends

What if the losers leave me

What if I'm alone

What if. What if. What if.

The anxiety was building up inside Richie. He began having staggered breathing his eyes wandering every which way. Slowly he closed his eyes trying to eliminate the thoughts. He steadied his breathing. Richie began to relax as she ran his fingers through his soapy hair. He rinsed the soap from his hair and watched as the water swirled down the drain. He stepped out of the shower, grabbing a grey towel on the hook.

Richie walked into his room closed the door, threw on underwear and a Tee shirt, and slipped underneath the covers. He let his mind clear, having the only thought be Eddie's perfect smile.

Dream: Richies POV

I walked into homeroom only to find the only seat open was next to Henry Bowers, the biggest dick in the world.

"Holy shit if it isn't Richie fucking Tozier. Where's your boyfriend. Did he dump you?" Henry had made a fake crying face complete with the pouty lip and all. He chucked at my burning face.

"HE'S NOT MY FUCKING BOYFRIEND!!!" I screamed at Henry. "IM NOT GAY," I yelled holding back tears in my eyes. I knew everyone at this moment was now watching me.

"Oh yeah," Henry smirked."Them what's this faggot." He grabbed my homework that for once I did and slapped it down on his desk comparing it to a... I gasp in horror. The anonymize love note I wrote Eddie."Looks pretty similar to me Tozier."

I could feel the hot tears running from my eyes.

Dream over.

I was pulled back to reality breathing heavily, I could feel the sweat and tears running down my face. I pulled myself out from underneath the covers and pulled my knees to my chest, burying my face into my chest. I whispered to myself. " I'm not gay, I'm not gay, I'm not gay."