If I Could Tell You- Reddie

6: How He Wished The World Was Different

Richie and Eddie had exited the Movies, an awkward silence casting over them. They didn't make eye contact, only short glances. They both knew feelings were there but neither would admit it. The tension continued until they went their separate ways both walking towards their dorms.

This wasn't the first time and it definitely wouldn't be the last time Richie fell into his pillow sobbing. He was a disaster but not just any disaster, he was a gay disaster. The worst part was the shame he carried. The shame of loving Eddie, the shame of not loving Hailey. He got lost in his thoughts. The door creaked open, snapping Richie out of his trance. 

"You scared me," Richie said taking short quick breaths while wiping his eyes. He won't able to hide his red eyes and blotchy face from Jay though.

"Hey what's wrong," he asked visibly concerned for Richie. Richie turned his back muttering something about how it was nothing and he was fine. "You're not fine. I can see your face and you've been crying." Richie slowly turned around, now facing Jay. Richie sighed before his lip started quivering and another sob came out. 

"Im sorry." Richie sniffled. once he saw Jay he saw what true masculinity should look like. Not bis stupid Hawaiian shirts and graphic tee's. Jay was tall with broad shoulders. Richie was tall sure, but he was skinny as hell. Jay was practically bulging with muscles. Will Richie sat their just skin and bones. 

Real men would never cry, that's what his dad always said when Richie looked like he was on the verge of tears. This time he couldn't stop, the tears kept pouring out of his eyes, running down his faster than Olympic runners. "Oh, I have some news that might cheer you up. Hailey told Samantha who told Olive who told Hollonad who told me to tell you that Haileys feeling better and wants to see you." Jay had a small smile across his face. 

"Oh, thanks," Richie said plastering a fake smile across his face while running out the room. What do I tell her, do I say I want to break up because I love someone else or just say I want to break up. God's love was so confusing. Richie then settled on the idea of taking her to the fall dance in a couple of weeks.  

Richie had made it to the girl's side of the west wing, standing in front of Hailey and her friend Sams's dorm. He felt s shiver go down his spine. He turned around to Eddie standing there staring back at him. 

"Hey?" Richie was confused. Why was Eddie here? Before Richie could continue Eddie leaned forward, pressing their lips together. He liked the way Richie's lips felt on his, the tingle it gave him. Eddie pulled back before running down the hall, disappearing around the corner. 

What the fuck had he just done. Eddie turned the corner panting trying to come to grips with what he had just done. Holy fuck, I did it. But at what cost. His mind was spiraling. Sure he had always dreamed of this moment, going through every scenario in his head but Eddie never thought that he would actually do it. 

The only thought in his head at this point was Richie's going to hate me. He hung his head, silently crying while walking to his dorm. Eddie entered his dorm, walking to the bathroom to take a shower and calm himself down. He stepped into the heated shower, tears mixing with the freshwater. 

How Eddie wished the was different. He just wanted to hug Richie, to hold him, to kiss him, and have no one bat an eye at this. Like it was the most natural thing in the world. But he couldn't, that's what pissed him off so much. Eddie rubbed his face trying to get rid of the redness.

Meanwhile, Richie had just got over the shock of what Eddie did. The taste of Eddie's lips still lingered on his lips. He repressed all of his feelings and walked into Hailey's room. She was lying in bed, still in her Pajamas.

"I thought you said you were feeling better." Richie joked, he looked awful. A red face, bags under her eyes, and looked like she was in extreme pain.

"I am, I just don't look better." A heavy sigh came from her." Anyways I was wondering, next week would you want to come dress shopping with me." 

Richie scratched the back of his head."Uh yeah sure, I need to get an outfit anyways." Richie flashed a half-smile. "I'll see you later." He said, walking out of the room. He rubbed his face just cow contemplating his life's designs. Richie shoved all of his thoughts and feeling to the back of his mind as he began the walk to his dorm. 

When Richie finally reached his dorm Jayden was reading a book. "Since when do you like reading." 

"I don't, it's the book for class. The one about the history of flight." Jay raised his eyebrows

"Holy shit. I forgot." Richie scrambles around the room in an attempt to find the book. Eventually, after trashing his side of the room, he found the book on his desk. "Finally." He muttered to himself. He opened it only to find a note placed on the front page. 

Dear Trashmoulth,

If your reading this on October 14 please meet me in the back of the coast yard. We need to talk. 

-E