-- michael
i haven't seen calum since i walked in on him and his boyfriend spit swapping in the hospital. that was four days ago.
the whole month of may is almost a blur in my memory. since their announcement at the party, i'd hardly spent any time with my best friend. it was hard.
ashton had started coming over a lot, even though i couldn't stand him half the time. we only knew each other through luke, and i never saw the blonde giraffe.
"so, what's with the blue?" ash asks me. his thumbs tap the controller buttons nonchalantly- he was never really one for video games. "is it a part of your depression or..."
"first," i pause the game, "not funny."
"second?"
i lean back on the couch, staring up at the ceiling. why can't i color my hair without stupid ass questions like this?
"second, mind your own fucking business."
"suck my dick," ashton huffs, unpausing our half aggressive battle and killing me in one blow. i feel the vibration of the controller, but i don't move. "ugh, did i offend you? sorry."
"i have to go," i say. not seeing calum in so long is driving me insane, not to mention ashton's constant company. i pat ash on the back and stand up, grabbing my jacket on the way to the door.
"wait- what?" he stands, following after me. i turn to face him, hand on the doorknob. "where the hell are you going?"
"to the hospital," i reply, and open the front door. "any comments?"
"nah. don't die."
"i'll try not to."
---
-- calum
my eyes flutter open as knocks sound at the door. my heart races for a moment and just for a brief second i forget i can hear things. it's like having a phantom limb after an amputation, in a way.
i see michael's warm face and wave, beckoning him inside. my smile widens as the door opens, and he grins.
"hey, callie..." he sits on my bed as electricity shoots through my body at the nickname. i'd never heard it out loud until now. "how ya holding up?"
i shrug. i'm still uncomfortable talking, although speech therapy started yesterday. i grab my notebook from the bedside table.
i would talk but my voice is gross
"shut up," he laughs, almost giggling as he snatches the notebook from me. he closes it and sets it in his lap, raising an expectant eyebrow at me. "now, tell me how you're feeling."
i open my mouth. my brain is screaming a thousand words at me but i'm at a loss. i shake my head. i can't speak, not yet.
michael gives a defeated sigh and gazes at me. i feel his grey stare trying to find my brown eyes, but i keep them to the floor. "it's... it's okay, callie."
i shake my head again. it's not okay. if i weren't such a huge baby, i could talk.
"i just want to hear you."
i look up at him, into his sad eyes. i know he means more than that. he wants to hear me say i love you, and i don't know how to feel about that.
i know
