calum --
michael was leaving tomorrow. i didn't really know how to feel about that. i guess i shouldn't have felt anything, considering he was just some boy that'd taken up residence here on his mother's behalf. something told me i needed to talk to him, to sort all of my feelings out, but the entire relationship was one-sided anyway, so there'd be no use in that.
i laid in my bed, going over the last few days in my mind. there had been one incident yesterday that made me even more emotional than i already was. it started out harmlessly, like any other day.
michael was sitting on the floor again, his eyes closed as he gently bobbed his head to the music in his headphones. i didn't get why he wore them around me. to make me feel bad? nobody else was home, so the whole thing confused me and quite frankly, i felt like shit.
i tapped on my mattress, failing in getting his attention. my sock-covered foot brushed against his leg, startling him like he'd done to me so many times. i laughed at his reaction, and that feeling settled in again. what did my laugh sound like? shaking negative thoughts away, i raised an eyebrow at the green-haired boy. the dye in his bleached hair had begun to fade, turning into a light green, slightly white color. i still liked it.
"song?" michael asked, earning a nod from me. "it's called-" and he said something, a word i didn't know. i shook my head, looking confused. he said it again, slower this time. "li-th-um" i deciphered. lithum? i shook my head again, getting worked up over this little thing. there were plenty of words i didn't know, but this instance made my blood boil. why did i have to be stupid and deaf? why couldn't i listen to this song with him? the whole thing was stupid.
getting fed up with unsuccessfully reading his lips, i held my hand out and shrugged. he made an 'o' shape with his mouth, looking reluctant as he held his phone out. i looked at the dim screen. lithium by nirvana. except i couldn't read the word. i tried over and over again, but i couldn't read it. frustrated, i practically threw the phone at michael and left my room. i felt the vibrations of michael's heavy footsteps after me (i'd learned over the course of three days what michael's footsteps felt like versus everyone else's), but i ignored them and continued downstairs to the backyard.
michael caught up with me as i opened the sliding glass door to the deck, grabbing my shoulders and speaking words so fast i couldn't read them. i shook my head, touching his lips with my index finger to slow him down. "slow," i tried to mouth, and surprisingly he understood me.
he took a deep breath before repeating himself, "it's okay, calum, you don't have to know every word." he offered me a tiny smile that didn't help much. "okay?"
i nodded, but it wasn't okay. if i wasn't so... so deaf i could hear the word and listen to this nirvana band, whoever they were, and i could hear michael's laugh and i wouldn't have to feel his footsteps to know when he was coming. but i didn't say anything, because i couldn't say anything.
so that happened. i was still emotionally raw from the whole luke fiasco (you like that word? i learned it this morning from michael), and not knowing what the name of the goddamn song michael was listening to burned another hole in my tolerance with being deaf.
not that i could help it. i went deaf in my right ear when i was four, a late bloomer in otitis media, and then deaf in my left ear from an ear infection at six. when i turned seven, i started speech therapy, just in case. i was easily frustrated from not being able to hear myself or the instructor, so i quit and started taking 'classes' to read lips and learn sign language. now, at seventeen, i've been legally deaf for eight years and it still sucks.
michael packed his bag today. he only left out pajamas and an outfit for tomorrow, as well as the fifteen-thousand toiletries he possesses. being the creep i was, i took a peek at his things and discovered that a lot of the random bottles were actually hair dye and bleach. i jumped when a hand landed on my shoulder, earning a laugh from michael as i looked up at him and flipped him off.
"do you wanna help me dye my hair before i leave?" he asked, beaming down at me with pink cheeks that made me smile. i nodded, licking chapped lips as i stood, michael's hand falling to the small of my back to steady me. i pretended not to notice, but the gesture made my skin crawl. michael gathered all the necessary supplies and i entered the bathroom, looking at myself in the mirror. michael was always changing his hair, something i'd learned by exploring his camera roll with him. he'd been galaxy, black, black and red, black and purple, white, 'reverse skunk', and a ton more. i'd been thinking about why he always changed it up, and i came to the conclusion that normal was boring and he didn't want to be boring.
i remember once i had complained to luke about being boring, and he said i was anything but. i had a feeling it was because of my deafness, but i didn't say anything. maybe i needed a change, too. maybe having different colored hair would make me happy?
i ruffled my hair, biting my lip in thought. i was never really spontaneous, so this was hard for me. i told myself i'd be okay, and that my mom would like it, and luke would give me shit about liking michael, which to me was all perfectly fine. my eyes flickered up as michael's reflection graced my bathroom mirror, a smile lighting up his face. "ready?"
i shook my head, and took a deep breath before nodding to myself and grabbing the bleach. i pointed to my hair, which made the smile on michael's face widen. "blonde, then?"
--
michael had told me to close my eyes while he was dying my hair, but i couldn't help but sneak peeks at his skilled hands massaging bleach into my ebony hair, his teeth pulling on his bottom lip in concentration. it made my cheeks turn pink every time he'd look down and see my open brown eyes, a smirk pulling on his lips. "calum, calum, calum," he'd say with mock disappointment, "what are we going to do with you?"
at the end of it all, my hair was partially blonde. i liked it. no, scratch that, i loved it. michael's hair was red, and thanks to me he had dye on his ears and the back of his neck. he just laughed it off, though, and said it was normal to get dye everywhere.
luke came by later that day, surprised by my hair. "copycat," he had sneered, while michael was upstairs. i flipped him off, rolling my eyes at his childish behavior. i signed to him that it was my decision and it had nothing to do with michael, but that was sort of a lie. oh well.
allison, as luke had introduced her again, was with him. she liked my hair. "it's cute. but i guess i have a thing for blondes, so," she laughed, and shrugged. luke shot me a jealous look for a second, as if he'd forgotten i much preferred guy parts over lady parts.
overall, it was a good day. the first good day i'd had since michael showed up. i was worried they'd start again after he left- but i didn't worry about it.
a/n: love you guys <333
