We'll Get There {AntiAverage} (ABANDONED)

19: C B/ASE

1056 words

It was just the two of us now. Stacy had picked up Trey and Greyson a few hours ago, and now the post-kiddo depression was kicking in.

Anti and I had started to watch Modern Family as a distraction; surrounded by the limited color pallet of spooky decorations. They never tell you how lonely holidays are when you don't spend them with your kids.

I wasn't really paying attention to Phil's rambling; The scene from earlier that morning kept replaying in my head.

Maybe he hadn't meant it like that?

Maybe it didn't mean anything, and I was projecting. He clearly didn't remember it, knowing him he'd be a condensed ball of awkward.

Or, I realized with a jolt, maybe he's more like his old self than I thought he was. That didn't make sense, even if he was playing it cool his glitching would be worse.

I wouldn't ever know if I didn't ask, would I?

It wasn't that simple. It felt like every time I moved to open my mouth my guts twisted me back into submission, and I let the silence continue. Maybe I just shouldn't say anything? Maybe I should just forget about it, because neither of us needed a new thing to worry about.

Or maybe I was being a schoolgirl about the whole situation.

"Chase? Are you okay?", his question startled me. I barely repressed a flinch, and I felt a wave of heat travel along my neck.

"Yeah, I'm fine, dude.", I paused. "Hey, do you remember this morning at all?"

My stomach churned, and I barely kept my hands steady. This was stupid, he didn't need this on top of everything.

"You mean when I came downstairs?", he tilted his head slightly, and I gulped. Last chance to leave it alone.

My voice stuck for a moment as I responded, "No, you, uh- you woke up when I got up this morning. I mean... you were barely conscious, I don't even know if that counts. But you... uh- said you..."

Why was this so hard?

Anti looked a bit freaked out, and I took a breath to calm myself

"You said you loved me.", I damn near whispered, a little faster than it needed to be. "I- Uh- I dunno what you meant by it, but- um, you know, I thought you outta know-"

Anti was the perfect representation of a human bluescreen. He seemed absolutely frozen, aside from the worsening glitches pulling at his body. He was like TV static, and just as pale.

"I- I'm sørRy-", he mumbled, eyes wide and horrified. His voice was nearly intelligible.

"N-no, I didn't mean- I...", I began to pick at my nails. "I said it back...", it was barely more than a mumble itself, but it seemed to still the warping ego.

"yŒ... you did?"

I chanced a glance at him. "Yeah.", I said softly, a nervous grin on my face. He seemed to work through a multitude of different emotions, before eventually landing on a hopeful sort of shock.

"So... does that mean...?"

"It doesn't have to mean anything. I- I mean I know that's obviously not your focus right now, and you should be putting all of your effort into your recovery, I just th-", I was pressed into silence when he leaned foreword and kissed me. It was quick, and chaste, and he seemed like he'd just pushed himself way too far outside of his comfort zone because he lurched back almost immediately, but it was like it had set off a string of fireworks in my skeletal system.

"Sorry. I- I shœuldn't have døne that...", Anti mumbled, looking down at his hands as he wrung them. He was flushed and overwrought; he seemed worse off now than when I'd mentioned his Freudian slip.

"It's fine. I, um... I just wasn't expecting that. It wasn't... it... I...", I let out an exhale, that could've been a chuckle if interpreted the right way. "I'm being a teenager, aren't I? Anti, I like you. A lot. I mean... I love you. I don't mean to overwhelm you, though-"

"I, uH-", a rather violent glitch interrupted his interruption, "I lœve you tø." He smiled a genuine, toothy smile as he looked up at me.

I subconsciously leaned in closer, like a piece of metal draw to a magnet. He seemed to do the same. Our foreheads touched, and I let out a long breath, muscles relaxing and nerves unwinding.
It felt like a piece of my life had clicked into place.

____

For once it was Chase who'd fallen asleep on the couch, and not me. The only light in the room was that of the TV, illuminating our faces and casting shadows on the wall.

I had turned to volume down so I could hear his steady, calm breaths, and it just-so-happened I was able to hear footsteps coming up to the sidewalk as well. I looked out a window in a split moment of panic, before I saw a familiar flash of red.

I heard the lock click open, and Jackieboy soon entered the room. He looked tired and ragged, and his suit was torn, but he didn't seem to be bleeding.

I nodded politely in his direction, and to my surprise, he nodded back.

I flinched as something was thrown my way, heart rate spiking, before I realized what it was. It was a small stuffed animal, no bigger than my palm. I picked up the plush turtle and examined it for a moment, before turning my questionable gaze back to Jackie.

"Birthday present.", he whispered, before going on his way. He was gone before I could thank him.

I gazed at the toy with amazement. It was just a small thing, likely picked up at a convenience store or something of the sort, but I felt a sudden rush of warmth as I looked into its beady eyes.

This represented more than a little gift for my birthday, more than just a stupid running joke. This was Jackie's way of making a peace offering.

Tears welled up in my eyes, blurring my vision ever-so-slightly, and a large smile spread on my face.

For the first time in a long, long time, I began to think everything might actually be okay.