Alter Egos

Mess Is Mine

Song: Mess Is Mine by Vance Joy

Description: In which Barry has a more emotional reaction to living with Speed Force Nora. AU set between 7x06 and 7x07.

Sooo,  l am almost done with Hiraeth but inspiration jumped me, put a bag over my head, and threw me in the trunk. And I'm well aware I sound like a broken record, but it's coming. Sooner or later. It's coming. There's nothing you can do to stop it! Ha! But yeah, anyway. This was inspired by a post from Twilightsinfern. You'd think I'd get tired of writing cuddles by now but here we are.

...

The room was quiet. So very quiet.

It was consuming. The kind of quiet where you can hear the creak of a floorboard or the low rumble of footsteps from two rooms away. The kind that only comes in the dead of night when the sky is asleep but your thoughts are wide awake, loud and inescapable.

Caitlin sighed sharply from where she sat on her couch, tossing her tablet to the side and rubbing her eyes. It was pointless worrying about it all tonight. There was nothing she could do, no one she could call that would still be awake at the tender hour of—her tired eyes flickered to the clock on the wall—1:30 am.

With the gnawing feeling of balled-up tension still buzzing beneath her skin, Caitlin pulled her legs underneath her and allowed her head to fall back against the couch. She stared up at the ceiling, the quiet chatter of the television drifting in the background as it cast its pale shadows across the white paint above. She had hoped having it on would help, would ease the encompassing silence that seemed to amplify her raging thoughts. It hadn't.

Caitlin drew in another breath and closed her eyes, trying to will the tension from her shoulders. She inhaled slowly, deliberately, making an attempt to quiet her mind enough to allow sleep to creep its way in.

A low knock echoed through the room and Caitlin jolted upright. Her tired thoughts immediately went to the worst of places and she practically leapt to her feet, heart pounding.

It was them.

They had come for her.

Who else would be at her door at this hour?

She looked at the door and then at the hall, wondering if she should wake Frost and tell her to run for it before it was too late. Her thoughts quickly began to spiral, scene after scene playing through her mind in an instant. Just as they seemed they would completely consume her, Caitlin yanked them back from the edge, forcing them down and willing herself into a calm, functional state.

She needed to be rational about this. It could be anybody. It might not even be them. And even if it was, panicking wouldn't do either of them any good. The knock echoed again, somehow fainter this time. Caitlin felt a chill wash over her as her bare feet seemed to involuntarily move closer to the door. With her hands shaking from adrenaline, she reached for the knob and turned, the hinges swinging open with a foreboding finality.

What Caitlin found on the other side was not the police, or a task force, or any phantom there to haunt her waking hours. It wasn't any of those things, it was...Barry.

Caitlin nearly let out an audible sigh of relief, her shoulders relaxing as the tension eased up a bit. However, her eyes took the speedster in and the gears in her head began ticking once more.

His pajama clad form stood shifting in her doorway, looking like he was ready to bolt at any moment. His hair was messy in a way that made her want to fix it and his eyes tired and perhaps a little red-rimmed. Something in her softened, the built up energy in her veins launching her into an all too familiar mindset.