Gotta Love Connections (An Andy Biersack Fanfiction) completed

Chapter 11

Shealynn's POV

I woke up and looked around seeing that i was on the floor. I put the battery back into my phone and checked my voicemail. A small ping of guilt shot through me as I listened to all my friends worry about me. I checked my texts and answered all of them rather lamely with stuff like 'I'm fine' 'Don't worry' 'I'll tell you later' and such. of course my phone went off and I gave up telling Saphira to just bring everyone over. I tested out my voice and found that it was still crackily but usable. i constantly cleared my throat and downed tons of water while waiting for them to arrive. I should feel sad or guilty or something but in all truth I felt completely numb. My house was utterly empty and I didnt want it. I wondered where Mairissa had stayed since she was suposed to be staying at my house. I figuered Saphira had taken her in or Andy at least for the time being. I brushed it off and sat in the living room in utter silence.

My doorbell rang and I opened the door only to be enveloped by huge hugs. Their voices overlapped eachothers as they tried to talk to me at once. Andy however stayed silent. i studied his features but I couldnt tell what he was thinking. I looked away and went to the living room while everyone followed.I absentmindedly took in the blood stained floor and couch where my mom had died and I had cut. i rubbed my aching thigh and felt someone slap me. I growled and looked over at Saphira who had sat next to me. "What the fuck?" I asked. "Don't you ever scare us like that again you understand me? we have been through this before and we absolutely do not need to repeat it." She said sternly. I rolled my eyes even as tears stung my eyes when I thought of the last time I cut and she had helped me stop.

"Ok so what exactly happened?" Asked Marissa. i sighed as agony ripped through my chest. I took a deep breath and told them about how I had heard her message and found her dead. I explained how I had drank and cut to try to feel better. Saphira and Marissa were crying by the time I finished. The guys stood stone still and just looked away. i couldn't find the courage to even look anyone in the eyes. "I am starving. Who wants to get something to eat?" I asked breaking the heavy silence even though the thought of food sickened me. Saphira silently stood up and we all followed her to the tour bus. "Wait wait wait. Hold up. You want us to take you out in public looking like that?" Ash asked sarcastically guesturing at my clothes. I turned on my heal and motioned for them to hold on while I changed. i put on baggy black jeans and a gray hoodie, Tennis shoes, and brushed my hair before going back out to the bus.

I sat on their make shift couch and sat there. "Where do you wanna go?" asked Jake. I shrugged and Saphira told him to go to McDonalds. She ordered for me and we ate in silence.I looked back over to silent Andy and saw him already staring at me. i got up and joined him on the small bunk he was sitting on. "Hey." I said lamely hoping he would carry the conversation. He nodded and looked away quickly. "So whats up?" I asked trying to get him to look at me. i instantly regretted it when i saw him look down at me with agonized striking eyes. My heart broke to see him looking like that. "Nothing much, just terrified for my friends life." He replied in a stony voice. I looked away embaressdland coughed. "Why is your voice like that?" He asked softly. i looked back up at him and told him about screaming at my pretend mom. He nodded and we lapsed into yet another awkward silence. Soon we were back at my house and I sat there instead of going in. Andy gave me a questioning look. "I don't mean to be a bother but I really don't want to go back in there." I said softly and looked at my shoes. "That's fine. We don't have to." Andy said and kissed the top of my head.

They told the driver to drop us off at Saphira's house but me and Andy ended up walking down to the river. We sat under a tree and I leaned against him as he wrapped and arm around me. "She was a terrible mother." I whispered and he looked down at me. "I mean, she slept with married men all the time, she drank a lot, she smoked pot, and she completely neglected me." I told him and he nodded. "It doesn't even make sense for me to still want her around if she did all of that." I continued. "Well she was your mom. She's flesh and blood even more so then aunts and uncles. It does make sense since you took care if her while she was messed up. Even though she's gone now and you'll never get her back she was still a part of your life and will continue to be someone who helped shape who you are. There is no changing it. And it is absolutely ok to react the way you did all except cutting yourself. Doing self harm doesn't help with the pain and it never will. Be sad and cry about it. Talk to people. But don't ever cut because something bad happened. Promise?" His voice dropped to a whisper at the end. My heart broke as I saw tears threaten to fall from his eyes. "I swear." I replied and let tears flow freely down my already tear stained cheeks. He wrapped his arms around me and held me while I cried for what seemed like hours. Even after the tears stopped and I felt better he still held me. I cuddled closer to him and we laid down with my head on his chest.

I looked up at him and just stare into his eyes for a while. I memorized his perfect lips, defined features, and inhuman eyes. I glanced from his eyes to his lips wishing he would kiss me and as if hearing me he leaned closer. He pressed his soft lips to mine and it wasn't even making out. We just sat there kissing for a while. With every kiss my pain slowly slipped away and Andy became something more. He was something that kept me tethered to earth, a piece that made me whole, and I needed to keep Andy with me forever.

All too soon it became dark and we headed back to Saphira's house. He put an arm around me and I leaned into him. My cuts throbbed but I honestly didn't give a shit. We entered the house and found out friends hanging around the living room. All night we hung out and talked as a group. The best part was that me and Andy stayed together. He either had his arm around me or we were holding hands the whole night. Sometime we all ended up asleep around the living room.

I'm sorry if its short and a little but of a filler chapter. Whatever. Comment if you have any ideas about what I should write pretty pretty please!