Gotta Love Connections (An Andy Biersack Fanfiction) completed

Chapter 10

Sorry for the lack of updates ^.^ I have to do this on y iPod also cuz I haven't got a chance to get on the computer. If it sucks I'm sorry cuz it's like midnight and I'm tired.

I looked around as the people who had been here left. The tears had long since ceased and I was exhausted. I stood up and stretched. I felt completely numb. Void of all emotion. Again I had lost a parent. Fuck this shit I thought as I went to find her stash of beer. I downed a bottle and picked up another one. I screamed and threw the empty one against the wall. Everyone was so fucking selfish! My mom and dad left me in this shitty world, alone! Who the fuck does that?!

I went to her room and yelled at her things. All the anger and sadness. Everything that I felt at that moment or previous ones. My major crush on Andy that went beyond fangirling, my terrible grades, my friends, the guys, everything that I hadn't got to tell her I said. I talked and cried and laughed and got mad over everything again. Soon I was just as drunk as she used to get. My voice was hoarse and I knew I would loose it by tomarow. I just didn't care. I asked her things, ad told her every little thing that she had missed about my life. I invited her to the kitchen and tried to make dinner for two. It ended up as scalded macaroni and over toasted bread with ketchup. I set up a plate for her and just sat there dining quietly to any song that came to mind.

I finished the lat bottle of booze I had gotten out and went to the couch to lie down. I closed my eyes and drifted to dreamless sleep.

When I did wake up it was the next day and the physical pain of loss was too much. I immediately drank again. Two bottles in and I thought of something I remembered. There was a reason I always wore short when I swam. I remembered vaguely pulling on gray shorts earlier and I glanced at them now. I felt insanely guilty but drank it away. No one would find out I assured myself. Not to bad, just to make sure I can feel...

I opened the floor board in my room and found a familiar little blue pouch. I opened it knowing I would find the gleaming razor inside. I pushed up my shorts and drug the blade across my skin. The wound wasn't very deep at all, in fact it hardly bled. For some reason that pissed me off. I gulped down some more happy juice and dug deeper and deeper int he same spot. I didn't notice untill my shorts were soaked that I had been bleeding just like my mom. Horror struck through me and I quickly wiped away the blood and put pressure in my leg. The bleeding stopped and my leg throbbed. I smiled with satisfaction at the pain. I know totally mental right?

I went to the living room and tried to talk but found I just sounded like a dying chihuahua that got hit my a truck. I sat on my couch and sipped some more alcohol thinking. I was about to shower when I heard a knock on the door. I giggled and thought about The Drug in Me is You by Falling in Reverse. I opened it and saw a worried Andy standing there. I guest urged for him to come in and grinned. I took another drink ad plopped on the couch. He sat across from me and I picked up another bottle throwing the now empty one at the wall. It shattered and I giggled. It was more of a squeak mixed with a dying cat noise.

"What the hell..?" Asked Andy. He was looking at my bloodied shorts. "Oops. Forgot to change." I lied trying lamely to get him not to know. He stared at me in fear. "You were wearing jeans yesterday." He said. Damn I thought. "Did you cut yourself?" He asked and I shook my head. Probably too fast considering he walked over and examined my leg. I sighed and rolled my eyes. He pulled up my shorts on the right leg, revealing sloppy jagged slices in the previously in damaged skin.

His eyes widened and he started shaking me. I swear he had tears in his eyes but I was too wasted to be sure. "Where is it? The knife or razor or whatever you used to do that to yourself." He asked. I crossed my arms and he started looking all over the room. He found it and shoved it in his pocket. "Don't ever do this again. Do you understand me?" He said leaning closer and looking my in the eye. I pushed him back and opened my front door. I stood there and motioned for him to leave. "Why won't you say anything?" He asked. I just pointed at the door. Out of all the profanity going through my head he had better be glad I didn't say anything. He walked out the door and turned back. I slammed and locked the door silently crying. It was none of his goddamn business what the hell I did and didn't do. Eventually my phone blew up as I realized he must have told the others. I turned off my phone and headed to my room. I curled up under the covers and closed my eyes. I refused to open them or get up when my door bell rang and I heard shouts at the door. I just kept repeating not my problem not my problem not my problem not my problem over and over until I wore my self out.

Andy's POV

When we saw her car going 100 mph down the road we decided to follow her. We didn't have anything planned and something was obviously wrong. When we got to her house we heard her yelling and crying. Ash ran in and informed us of the bloody scene. I instantly called 911 and went in to find her inconsolable. The police arrived and so I'd the ambulance. They told us that her mom was dead and I tried to get Shealynn to her room but she freaked. I felt tears sting my eyes as she crawled to a corner, rocking herself and muttering like a madwoman. The usually calm and fun girl was gone. Replace by an unstable and broken person.

After hours she still stayed the same and we all had to leave. I thought about her and her blood stained clothes. I wondered wether or not she would try to hurt herself. Finally I worried myself to death and checked in her. She was drunk, bipolar, and her shorts were completely soaked in blood. So was her leg. She tried to lie to me and I felt a knot form in my stomach. I looked and saw the worst cuts ever. They would scar her for ever and she didn't care. She simply wordlessly kicked me out and slammed the door on me. Tears spilled onto my cheeks as I sat in my car. I felt miserable and helpless. I needed her to be ok but she wouldn't even let me near her. I went to the bank where we had kissed and sat under a tree quietly crying. I texted the band and the girls what had happened. Ash tried to go to her house but she didn't even answer. He had given up. I ached with every bone in my body to see her smile again.

Well I know this chapter was a ppointless filler chapter and very short. Whatever. I just wanted to get something written. I hope it was ok! Comment and vote pretty pretty pleeeeeaaaaaaasssseeeee!