Chapter 12

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Andy's POV

I felt a hell of a lot better now that Shealynn was around people. I dreamt of the first time we kissed when I fell asleep with her in my arms. She reminded me of a really depressed kitten. I woke up and looked around bleary eyes. My eyes finally focused on the person in my arms. She looked so much happier now when she was sleeping. Less haunted I should say. Ever since her mom passed, even though it wasn't long enough to grieve, she's had a haunted slightly crazy look in her eyes. Not to mention she looks terrified. Like all the time. I sighed and drank in her peacefulness. I untangled myself from her and took my phone and cigarettes and snuck out the door.

I walked down the street smoking and trying to clear my head. No matter what I thought about, the image of Shealynn rocking back and forth muttering to herself and shaking her head always popped up. Despite me trying to stop it the memory of her scurrying away and screaming came up in my head and my heart ached. It was obvious to everyone that she needed help. Not like extreme loony bin stuff. Not a facility but like therapy. Friends can't help her the way therapists can. I've had friends that went through therapy and it changed them for the better. I sighed pondering how the conversation would go.

My phone rang and I looked to see it was Shealynn. "Hey. How'd you sleep?" I answered. "Good. You?" She asked sleepily. "Like a rock." I replied. "Where'd you go?" She said. "Oh I'm just walking." I stated purposely not telling her where. "Cool. Can I join you?" She asked and I felt a sick feeling in my stomach. I hesitated before saying sure. I told her to meet me at the park and I sat on a bench waiting for her. Should I tell her what's been on my mind or not? Oh god my stomach is churning. Wait there is no god. But cake exists so that's good. I would even deal with cupcakes. Would a giant cupcake be called a regular cake? Would a tiny cake be called a cupcake? Wait. That's how it already works. Speaking of work I hate work. Except my work because its awesome. It's hard work taking care of people. And there goes the flashback. Yup. See? She is in every though. In some shape way or form. Yeah I'm screwed. I looked and saw her walking not exactly brightly but a little less sad down the sidewalk. There was that look again. The haunted and depressed look. I sighed and forced myself to smile at her. I smiled for real when she wrapped her arms around me and I kissed the top of her head.

"Hey." I said softly. "Hey." She replied smiling up at me. Yup. She is a kitten. A cute, adorable, depressed, and scarred kitten but still one all the same. "Are you depressed?" I asked suddenly looking down at her. "Maybe a little, but isn't that reasonable?" She replied surprised. "Yes it's reasonable but I don't know... I was thinking about the whole you cutting yourself thing and I think maybe you need someone to talk to..." I trailed off. Her eyes hardened. "What do you mean." She asked. I sighed. "You know what I mean. I know I might be wrong but I think maybe seeing a professional will help with your thoughts because none of your friends are trained to be one. I've seen it help some of my friends a lot!" I insisted my words rushing together. She started walking away but I grabbed her arm and made her face me. I saw the hurt in her eyes and my heart broke to see it. "Please let go." She said in a demanding tone. "Just listen to me!" I pleaded. "No. You basically accused me of being mentally messed up!" She exclaimed and tears started flowing freely. "That's not what I said! And you are depressed and haunted and you need to talk to someone about it that knows what they are doing! Please!" I defended and wiped away her tears. "Please?" I begged quietly." She shook her head. "I'm not going to sit here and listen to you tell me about how I need therapy! That is so not going to happen!" She said and took off running. I tried to go after her but tripped over my stupid gazelle legs before I could catch up to her.

I felt like a terrible person. I contemplated going back to Saphira's and ended up there even though I told myself not to. I sighed and entered. I've been doing a lot of sighing today. Most of the people were still asleep and I couldn't find Shealynn anywhere. Great. Now I'm a fucking terrible person. I went back outside ad called her. She ignored my calls but after a while she finally answered. "What?" She snarled. "Where are you?" I asked her. "No where." She snapped. "Please I'm sorry but I'm not taking back what I said. Ask Marissa or Saphira or one of the boys. I'm not saying I'm gonna force you to go but I am saying it would be a good idea for you to share to someone who knows how to listen." I rambled. "My friends listen very well thank you very fuckin much. She said and I heard tears in her voice. I felt like my heart was gonna crack beyond repair.

"I'll think about it." She muttered and I smiled. "Where are you?" I asked her again looking around. "Still nowhere." She replied and I could see her rolling her eyes. "Please tell me. I want to see you." I begged. "No. You think I'm crazy and I don't want to fucking see you!" She's hissed and I felt like she just rubbed salt on open wounds in my heart. "Ok." I said miserably. "Goodbye." She said pointedly. "Yeah." I muttered and I heard her sob before she hung up. Honestly I ft like crying too but if I intended to talk to anyone I needed to man up and not cry.

I sat in the curb and lit another cigarette. I closed my eyes and just breathed for a while. I calmed down and threw away my cigarette as I walked back to Saphira's yet again. This time everyone was up and sort of about getting ready. The girls had their hair and makeup on and so did Ash but the rest of the guys fail to even brush their hair. I rolled my eyes at them and laid back down in the couch where me and Shealynn fell asleep. Dammit! Don't think about her! Don't think about her! Don't think abo- "Hey Andy, where is Shealynn?" Asked Saphire. I shrugged with out opening my eyes. "Why don't you know? You guys were joking at the hip yesterday, what happened?" She pressed. "I said some stuff she didn't like so she went off and won't tell me where she is." I said briefly and grimaced as I heard the hurt in my voice. I hoped that no one else heard it but the way Saphira immediately ended the conversation she heard it too. I cursed myself and tried relaxing. Suddenly a heavy object was dropped on my stomach and the breath rushed out of my lungs. "Holy shit!" I wheezed and saw that CC had sat on me. I glared at him ad caught my breath quickly before chasing him through the house and tripping him for good measure. These people are just too damn weird. I thought of Shealynn again and felt tears sting my eyes even though they were closed. I didn't mean to hurt her, I wanted to help her. I didn't know it would upset her to have someone say that to her. I know it's not the best thing to say to someone but someone had to or she would have entered a downward spiral in her life. I cared too much about her to let that happen.

Marissa's POV

I went into the bathroom to find Shealynn bawling in there. "Omg! What's wrong?! What happened?!" I exclaimed as I rushed to her closing the door. "Andy thinks I'm psycho." She wailed miserably. "What?" I asked thoroughly confused. "He told me that I should go to a shrink because he thinks I'm depressed an I need to talk to a professional." She sobbed and I hugged her. "Seriously?! Wow. Well it might be because you sliced the shot out of your thigh..." I trailed off. She just shook her head ad kept crying. Therapy would help a lot with her emotions. It's not just something for crazy people. Maybe I should talk to a few people about it and see what they think. Then I should try and get Shealynn to go so she feels better.

What? Therapy? Andy what the hell is going through your mind?! It like, I don't even have control over the story anymore. *sigh* IF YOU LOVE ME OR ANDY OR SHEALYNN YOU'LL COMMENT OR SOMETHING! Please! *runs away crying*

Gotta Love Connections (An Andy Biersack Fanfiction) completedWhere stories live. Discover now