professor | r. lupin

❘༻Thunder༺❘

The professor and the student walked in silence through the dark hallways. Severus was the one to guard that night, so he offered to safely walk Nancy to her room. He noticed that she still wasn't feeling good. The smile she always had around him was replaced with a slight pout. She had a habit of unconsciously sticking her bottom lip out whenever she was sad or angry and Severus thought it was the cutest thing he had ever seen. Everything about her was just so simple and so sweet. She could take no for an answer, she wouldn't fight with him over meaningless things and she was always there whenever he needed her. Not only sexually. The man hated to admit it, and even felt a bit bad, but he started to grow feelings for the girl. It didn't feel right for many reasons. Severus still had Lily Potter in his heart, but the redhead next to him made him feels certain things that Lily never did. Lily never looked at him the way Nancy did. Nancy was always there to help him even during the darkest moments. But still, Lily never left his mind or his heart.

Severus started looking at Nancy in a different way last year, right at the end of the school year. She was still seventeen, so he didn't want to be near her in any way except professional. She, on the other hand, always seeked for trouble. Especially in his class. Multiple failed potions and exams and other student's complaints later, Severus had to give her detention. Nancy dressed up a bit more revealing and happily made her way towards his classroom. It took her a long time to get him to speak, but once he did, the conversation couldn't stop. They had so much in common and Nancy left the classroom with butterflies in her stomach. Until that detention, she only had filthy thoughts about him. She never thought about him as an interesting man with a humorous and soft side. She was happy to discover it.

Both of them met quite often during summer. They spent nights in meadows behind Nancy's house(sometimes even inside), mornings in the small cafés in her little village where nobody could recognise him and sunny days near a lake. She even invited him to her birthday celebration just a week after school ended and he gladly accepted it. He was lucky he knew her parents so it didn't look suspicious. It took her a lot to make him smile more, but Severus soon loosened up and found himself thinking about all those moments when he was alone. It had been a long time since he felt something. Anything other than grief, guilt and anger. He was happy. Finally happy. But how long does a happiness with an eighteen year old last when you're a thirty-three year old man?

"I think this is enough. You should go back before someone catches us."

"I can go a bit further if you'd like me to," he offered, "in case you're scared of thunder."

In reality, he only wished to look at her for a bit longer. Nancy's lips curved up into a forced smile and she put her hands on Severus' shoulders. He could've sworn that her eyes shined just a bit more than usual. They seemed almost glassy. He also noticed the way she gulped and blinked a few times and he knew very well what it means. He was there countless times to know that she was holding back tears. "I know you always stop me, but I want to say this. You don't have to say it back, just allow me to say it."

His breath stopped for a moment, and before he could say anything, Nancy cupped his face and pressed her lips on his. He was tense under her touch, still thinking about her words and how to stop them. She can't say it. It won't end good. The man gently placed his hands on her waist and brought her closer, then deepened the kiss. It wasn't a lustful one like in his office. It was soft. He wasn't sure if she ever kissed him like that, but he loved it more than anything. Then, he felt something salty on his lips. The liquid mixed between them, making him pull away with confusion. He felt his heart tighten at the sight. Tears were rolling down Nancy's pink cheeks and she didn't bother to wipe them.

"Nancy-"

"I love you, Sev."

The girl smiled through tears, finally feeling lighter. The words that she was holding back for a long time were finally spoken. The sad thing about the situation was that she didn't ask for him to return those words. She knew he wasn't ready. She didn't know if he will ever be. But she needed to get it off her chest. Her hand reached to brush his hair away from his face, then rested back on his cheek. She gently caressed it with her thumb, lost in the way he looked in the dark hallway.