What Goes Around Comes Around

The End

Time suddenly slowed to a still. Hotch had fired three bullets into Jess Collins' chest. She dropped the knife as she flew backward and hit the floor. Hotch rushed to untie Frederick Collins as Spencer rushed to my side in an attempt to catch me as I fell to my knees. Jess Collins, one of my only friends in high school, shot dead right in front of me. I had thought for sure that I'd be able to talk her down. What had I done wrong?

The wailing of sirens could be heard from outside as paramedics and the rest of the team arrived. When Emily and Morgan came in and saw the scene before them, their faces dropped. As Spencer tried to guide me out of the building, I tried to lunge towards Jess's body. I had to see the irreparable damage that my fatal mistake had caused. I had gotten my childhood friend killed. Even if she did what she had done, she didn't deserve this kind of death. It took both Emily's and Spencer's arms to hold me back as I yelled for them to let me go. Tears streamed down my face, and they blurred my vision so I could barely see in front of me.

Eventually, they were able to drag me away, and I was sat at the back of an ambulance wrapped in a shock blanket. How pathetic. I wasn't the victim here. I was supposed to be the hero. When I calmed down enough, Spencer looked to me expectantly.

"I thought I could..." I trailed off. "I didn't think it would end like this."

"This isn't your fault," he reassured me as he wrapped an arm around me. "We all knew that there was a high likelihood of this happening when we walked into that house. She wasn't stable. You can't blame yourself for that."

"I know," I sniffled. "I just feel like I owed her something. We were friends. We both had the same rough childhood, but we ended up on opposite ends of the spectrum. I grew up to catch killers, and she grew up to be one."

"You couldn't do anything to prevent that," Spencer whispered into my hair. "You did the best you could in there."

I nodded as I began to spiral more. Logically, I knew that there was nothing I could have done. That didn't stop me from feeling guilty, though. Deep down, I knew that I could have ended up just like her. It was just a matter of brain wiring.

"Hey," Spencer said, trying to pull me back into reality. "Stop it. We saved someone's life today."

"By taking another," I said back. "Doesn't that ever get to you? How can we do that?"

"I know you're feeling a lot of things right now," Emily said, startling me. How long had she been there? "Just know that we're all here to support you. I'm here if you ever need someone to talk to."

"Thanks," I said solemnly.

"We have to get back to the station now," she told us. "Are you okay to go?"

"Yeah," I said as I rose to my feet. I think I've had enough of this place."

~

As the team finished cleaning up in the conference room in the station, Hotch approached me and pulled me aside. He cleared his throat before speaking.

"After these hectic past couple of days," he said. "I'm giving everyone a few days off."

"Thank you, Sir," I said, a wave of relief washing over me. I did not have the mental or physical energy to do any more work.

"I know these last few days have been especially difficult for you," he continued. You can say that again. "Is there anything we can do for you?"

"We don't leave for another few hours, right?" I asked. Hotch nodded. "Then yeah, I have something in mind."

~