UNEDITED: Our Forbidden Love

13: Starley

"What do you want?" I ask, perhaps a little too harsh, and without looking at him. I wanted him here to sort this out didn't I? But I couldn't help it, as I spoke it was just naturally angry. I guess it was my inner conscience sticking up for my mum after the way Alex had spoken about her.
"I want to make sure that my girlfriend doesn't fall asleep tonight, crying," he says in response. He puts emphasis on the word 'girlfriend' and it calms my stomach a little bit. He doesn't want to break up. He still wants me. The room is still full of tension and upset. "Can I come in?" he asks, and I shrug in response. I'm tired and I just want this day to end. He turns on the light and closes the door behind him. He walks to the side of the bed and sits down. Facing away from him, I look at my wrist. I had had to use my healing to remove the red handprint from my wrist, and I was glad now that it was gone.
"Starley," he says, his voice soft and calm, contrasting the mood of the room. "I'm sorry, I was a d*ck. I don't know what came over me, and I know it's no excuse for the things I said and the way I treated you but I can't believe it was me that said those god-awful things about you and your family. And the fact that I thought you would do anything sexual with my best friend. I'm so sorry." I note the absence of any pet name. Usually he probably would've stuck one on the end of his apology, but he knew that he'd hurt me and I'd probably get more mad for him using it. "Please forgive me." Again, I made note of no pet name. I could feel some of the negative emotions in the room dissipate with his apology, but I was still mad and upset with him.
"You really hurt me," I said, my voice coming out shakily and unsteady.
"I know Starley, and I'm sorry for what I said about your-"
"No," I interrupt, rolling over and sitting up to face him. "Your apology healed most of the emotional pain, sadly my powers don't heal that kind of hurt. I'm talking about my wrist..." He didn't respond straight away. Well, not in words, I see his response in the way his eyes soften in pain, regret and guilt. His eyes trace down my arm and stop on my wrist. He reaches out to touch it and I instinctively pull my arm out of his reach, afraid that he'll hurt me again. He looks hurt but he abandons the idea of touching me.
"No one can heal trauma or painful memories. Even the strongest kinds of magic aren't helpful in those areas. I just have to trust you, Alex." He opens his mouth to argue and I quickly continue. "I did trust you, very much. But this afternoon, when you grabbed me, and you looked at me that way, I just... felt so scared, so vulnerable and fragile. I just have to learn to trust you again and ignore my brain that's trying to tell me that you're dangerous." I look into his eyes and there's something there; surprise, maybe a bit of impressiveness. I can tell he wasn't expecting that. He opens his arms out and I crawl towards him. I fall against his chest, my tears cascading down my cheeks. He rubs his hand up and down against my back.
"Starley, you can trust me, okay? Ignore your brain and follow you're heart. Deep inside, you still love and want me. And I still love and want you. I promise to never hurt you again; I don't even know why I hurt you in the first place."
"Okay," I reply. "You're right, Alex. I love you, and I was really hoping for us to fix things up. And now we have."
"And now we have," he repeats. He kisses me on my forehead.
I escape from his arms and lie back down in the bed, on my side. He lies down facing the same way as me and presses his body up against mine. One of his arms goes over me and around my waist.
"I love you," he whispers and I whisper back, "you still hurt me, so don't think you can lay it on thick now with 'everything's back to normal'. You need to prove to me that you aren't dangerous anymore, but yes, I love you too."