UNEDITED: Our Forbidden Love

14: Alexander

Starley is fast asleep and had been for some time now. I listened to all the familiar sounds of my family going to sleep but that had long past. I couldn't sleep; my mind racing with Starley's words. You still hurt me, so don't think you can lay it on thick now with 'everything's back to normal'. You need to prove to me that you aren't dangerous anymore.
How was I meant to prove that to her? I just hoped that after I apologised to her she would forgive me but apparently it wasn't that easy. I get up out of the bed and make my way out to the kitchen. Quietly, I start collecting various containers filled with substances required for snickerdoodle cookies. I measure out all the ingredients into a large bowl and use a spoon to mix it all together. I line baking trays with baking paper and spoon the mixture onto the trays leaving enough room in between them. I fill two trays with balls of cookie dough and put them into the oven. As I get out a third baking tray, it slips from my hands and the metal of the tray hits the tiles with a large bang. The bang echoes around the kitchen and I'm sure everyone else in the house heard it too. I pick up the tray and soon enough, I hear footsteps treading lightly out to the kitchen.
It's Starley. Sh*t. She still looks half asleep and I want to kick my ass for waking her up. She was sleeping so peacefully before. She rubs her eyes and asks, sleepily, "Alex, what are you doing?" I put the tray on the bench and walk over to her, hugging her.
"Sorry, baby, I didn't mean to wake you. You can go back to bed if you want to."
"What are you doing?" she asks again, and I realise I didn't answer her question.
"I'm making snickerdoodle cookies."
"Why are you making them this early in the morning?" she asks, still half asleep. Reasonable question; probably something I need to ask myself.
"For you."
"Why?"
"To make things up to you. Because of the way I treated you." She looks up at me and smiles.
Argh! She's so cute when she does that, I really just want to kiss her right there and then, but I don't because I don't want her to realise how much I actually love her and how scared I was that I might've lost her. Alexander Stonal can't be scared. He just lives life as it comes at him and is the bravest person who attends Broadbeach State High. He can't be scared of anything, not even losing the girl he loves.
Then I realise that Alexander Stonal is me; and I am scared. Starley is my blonde-and-purple-headed angel. She's kind even to people that don't deserve her kindness. I don't want to lose that. She could easily win over any other person in the whole entire world. Hell, she could win over some guy who actually lives where she lives. But she somehow found a way for her to live and be with me. She chose me and I chose her, but I took her for granted and she nearly became the price. Starley is priceless, and really after the stunt I pulled yesterday, she doesn't deserve me.
***
In the car on the way to school, Starley holds a container of cookies on her lap and is in the process of eating one. If she's still mad at me after she saw me making cookies at a ridiculous hour of the morning just for her, she doesn't show it but I still feel like I need to do more to make it up to her completely. Making cookies for her at three in the morning isn't enough.
I turn into the school carpark and park the car. I walk around to Starley's side of the car and open her door. She gets out but her eyes are fixated on a spot behind me. I glance backwards and the same as yesterday, there's a circle of people surrounding Madison and a guy. But it's a different guy to both the times we'd seen this same situation. I close the car door.
"Stay here, please," I ask Starley and she nods, not wanting to get any closer. I jog over to the crowd, my feet tapping on the bitumen.
"Nicholas, I need your help please," Madison begs.
"Why? Because Alex found a girl who was better than you? Don't think I don't know why you're here. I'm friends with Brayden, he told me about yesterday morning."
"Well, yes, that's precisely why I need your help. If the world was in my hands that surfer guy's girl would be off the face of this earth before you can say 'twenty-eight exes'. But sadly, the world isn't in my hands, which is why I need an army of twenty-eight people." In the background I heard someone scream, and I was sure I heard my name but I looked behind me and I couldn't see anyone nearby who had spoken, besides I was too invested in this argument.
"Last time I checked, Madison, you're not the boss of me. And also, remind me again why we broke up? Yes, that's right, you tried to get me to join a group of ten people that you wanted to have sex with... at the one time. I don't see why adding eighteen people is going to help you, especially not with your reputation around here."
I turn around and walk back to the car, and that's when I realise that no one is standing there waiting for me: Starley is missing.