harry potter character imagines!

[ twelve ] spill your guts - s.b.

i laid next to sirius, catching my breath. i looked over to him, watching the way his chest rose and fell with his breathing. he had his eyes closed, and i admired the way his hair was perfectly post-sex messy. but i stopped myself before i could get too far. he is simply a friend. we made our agreement.

"alright, i should get going," i said as i stood from his all too familiar bed. i quickly pulled my clothes on and brushed myself off, smoothing any wrinkles. i ran my fingers through my hair. he opened his eyes and looked over at me.

"i'll see you later." a smile brushed across his face as he spoke.

"for sure," i smiled back. i walked out of the dorm. i closed the door behind me and leaned against it, putting my face in my hands. i was slowly realizing i was shit at the whole friends-with-benefits-no-strings-attached thing. because i fell for the stupid git. most would think it would be convenient to have a purely physical relationship with the person you like, but it is actually starting to feel like a special version of hell. i truly like him as a person, but all he wants is my body. which i don't blame him for of course, since that's what we agreed on.

the other boys even knew about our arrangement, and it was a sort of running joke in the group.

flashback

me and sirius rushed to the great hall, smoothing down our hair and straightening our robes. we walked to the table and sat down, getting a few odd looks from the other marauders.

"sorry, i was... doing things," i started getting food to avoid their stares.

"hi, i'm things," sirius spoke as he held his hand out to james to shake. i rubbed my face with my hands and shook my head.

james laughed loudly, remus shook his head with a little snort, and peter choked a little on his mouthful of chicken.

end of flashback

i headed back to my dorm. i flopped on my bed, burying my face in my pillows. i clearly broke the parameters of our agreement, so surely i should end it. and feeling like this isn't good for me anyway. i should talk to him after dinner. that gives me a few hours to plan out what i should say. i took a deep breath as i went through the possible scenarios in my head.

time skip brought to you by the fact that i'm writing this even though i'm very behind on schoolwork🤗

i was a little quiet at dinner, nervous for the confrontation that would take place after. i just picked at my dinner, bouncing my leg underneath the table.

"hey, you okay?" remus quietly asked me from across the table. i looked up at him.

"yeah, yeah i'm fine," i gave a barely convincing smile. he flashed me a little smile afterward, his eyes lingering on me for a second before he dove back into the conversation the boys were having.

dinner ended all too quickly, and i softly grabbed sirius' arm as we got out into the corridor. "can we talk?" i asked. he nodded and gave a little goodbye wave to the other boys as i lead him to an empty hallway.

"craving me again already, are you?" he smirked. i let out a breathy laugh.

"no, quite the opposite, actually." he gave me a strange look, and i continued. "listen, i think we should end this whole... thing between us. i just don't think it's good for either of us. plus if either of us ever want to date someone else, we can't do that if we're tied up in each other." i made the best excuses to try and sound the least suspicious i could.