Mackenzie, 18
"No apologies
He'll never see you cry
Pretends he doesn't know
That he's the reason why
You're drowning"
- I knew you were trouble
(Taylor Swift)
"I think we should break up," Steven says, straightforward and coldly. My eyes widen and I stare at him for a minute. What?
"What The hell Steven? Let's talk." My voice shakes and I sit on the bed, my heart beating way too fast. This is a nightmare, god, this is a nightmare. Steven just starts waking around the room like an encaged dog, messing his hair with his hands like he does when he is mad.
"Mackenzie listen to me. I leave in less than 24 hours to a completely different state. In a month I'll be in a different country. In 6 months, a different continent. And how can this work? People are already attacking you for dating me and how can we keep a relationship apart?", he kneels in front of me holding my face between his hands and I try to keep my tears to myself, "I love you so much baby girl. But I don't come back in a year. A year Mackenzie."
I swallow hard ignoring the sting in my eyes. He is right. But we could make it work. I know we could, he is just nervous and scared to see it.
"Yeah, I know. But how can you do this?", I don't even know what to tell him at this point. tears stream down my eyes and I don't even care to conceal it. Let him know he is hurting me.
He caresses my cheeks, cleaning my tears and he looks like it physically hurts to do this. Steven's eyes are glassy and he swallows before saying, "what if one day we wake up and it's not the same, cheesie? What if you regret agreeing with this life?", as long as I have you there I don't care StEvEn, I want to scream, "you saw how this industry works Mackenzie, will you endure it? Because if it destroys you, I won't ever forgive me." yes, it hurts but I need you.
I let go my sobs and I'm really crying now, "stop being like this. Just stop. Don't leave me like this", I push his hands away, "I don't have a choice, baby", He whispers pained, "oh my god- oh god I hate you", I start mumbling to myself and Steven comes back to my side reaching out for me but i push him away and now he has a pained expression on his face, tears streaming down as well, "stay away from me. I hate you and oh god- what - I- I", I can't even utter a sentence without sobbing.
Steven looks distress and hurt when I push him, but I don't care. What the hell is he doing? Five years of history together and it's all going away for this stupid reason he just made up? Bullshit. But I don't care. I can't even think straight with everything that's happening.
"Mack, sit here. Please, baby talk to me", but I can't. I can't look at his face. Who is this man? Because I'm sure it's not my Steven. Tears blur my vision, but I manage to take the diamond ring off my finger and throw at his face. Without even looking back I stroll down the hotel room with Steven yelling after me.
"Stop, Mackenzie please - I- cheesie- wait", I try to conceal my tears as I reach the hotel lobby, The use of the endearment nickname killed me, but I'm not thinking straight when I leave the hotel in the pouring rain. Someone could recognize me here outside, but I'm so out of my mind that the thought doesn't even process.
"Mackenzie stop", Steven yells now soaked on the rain too, I'm sure we are probably making a scene and it will be out on the tabloids tomorrow but I don't stop.
***
Steven, 19
"Oh, even though it's over you should stay tonight
Hey, hey, hey
If tomorrow you won't be mine
Won't you give it to me one last time?
Oh, baby, let me love you goodbye"
-love you goodbye
(One direction)
I fucked it up. Yes I know that, but I feel helpless. I don't know what to do about her. Mackenzie is the most precious thing in my life and I'd never let her go.
When my team said that it Would be better for us to break up so my image on the industry would draw attention to girls and avoid Mackenzie for being hurt by the spotlight, i said "fuck you" to all of them. Never in my wildest dreams would I do this.
But seeing her cry on the hotel room earlier today freaked me out. She was hurt, deeply hurt and it was indirectly my fault. I could only imagine how it would be with me on tour. Not seeing each other for a year and with all the rumors that would come about about me. I know she would get hurt. It would kill her. So I did what I thought it was better and now I'm in pain.
"Mackenzie please stop", I yell again at her through the rain, but she keeps moving, with no care in the world. "Cheesie, come here please baby", I am soaking wet right now and I'm sure we will catch pneumonia.
Mackenzie suddenly stops and turns around, tears steaming down her eyes, "what? What else do you want from me? Please Steven, it hurts. I thought I had you figured out.", it felt like she slapped me in the face. I would never hurt her and I want to kill myself for doing this.
"Please Mack", she lets me embrace her under the rain. Her sobs muffled by my wet chest, "why are you doing this? I can't even breathe when you are gone", she cries. Hell, I don't know.
"I'm so sorry Mack. Please I'm so sorry." Next thing I know she is kissing me, her tongue finding mine in a vicious and angry way. That's her way of punishing me, of showing I'm losing her. Like I didn't already know. Our teeth crush on each other in a mad way, tongues battling and I just get lost in her. Mackenzie's approving moans driving me crazy. I'm not strong enough to do this to her. Suddenly my lips are pressed to her neck and her breath uneven.
"Take me to the hotel room", Mackenzie whispers against my lips, desire dripping from her tone. This will kill us and I know. But that doesn't stop me from running with her through the rain and reaching out hotel room, tearing our clothes apart, that doesn't stop me from kissing her whole body and for taking her to me brutally. We make love to each other never dropping our gaze, in an intense eye contact battle, like if we lose, we'll lose each other forever. And I love her for the whole night. Knowing it will be the last time.
I savor on the way she arches her back so her hips can meet mine in every thrust and how she loses control every time my lips find her hard nipples. How she scratches my back holding me closer like we are two pieces of a puzzle that match. And when she finally comes with her head back and lips whispering my name, I kiss her neck whispering how much I love her.
Later, after the third time getting lost in ourselves, Mackenzie lays on my chest, our naked bodies hugging each other, "I love you for infinity, Steven", she whispers in my ears before falling asleep inside my arms. I decide to hold her close for a few more minutes, because I know that what I'm about to do now has no forgiveness and I'll be the luckiest man in the world if she ever comes back to me.
YOU ARE READING
Burning desire
RomanceMackenzie never thought she would see the face of the boy who broke her heart two years ago again, but when he's a rockstar it's hard to forget about it. One concert is all Mack and Steven need so their paths can cross again. The thing is, could th...
