Burning desire

Mackenzie|09

I laugh histerically over what I just heard. But Steven's face show me he isn't kidding. My laughter slowly dies over that. What the actual fuck?

I didn't expect to see him at the front door of my apartment at 9 in the morning on a Saturday after last night and I was more than tempted to give him a punch on the face, but before I could say anything he just blurted fast, " I want you to help us write our new album."

And I couldn't help but laugh because that's honestly the joke of the year. Like, me? Writing songs with the devils of the night? I start laughing again.

"Wait, you're actually serious." I say looking at Steven's now annoyed face.

"Yeah, I am. You have always been an amazing songwriter and I think it would be mutual beneficial agreement for both of us."

"Well can't see how looking at your face everyday would be beneficial for me." I tell him with an ironic smile. He roles his eyes before saying, "we'll promote 'state of grace' if you help us and I'll cut the dick attitude."

I can sense there's more to this 'agreement' than just that, but don't bother asking. So I just  start closing the door because he has a lot of nerve coming here to ask me this, but before I can blink, his strong hands holds the door and he looks at me with a pained expression.

"Please Mack, just think about it." I quickly nod before closing the door.

I can't help but think, while sitting on the couch with my cinnamon cappuccino in hands, how not once did he apologize for what he did. Asshole. And now he really expects me to act like everything is fine and co-write with him? Bullshit. Next thing I know we'll be braiding each other's hair and gossiping. Eww. I hate him.

"What's up with the murderous glance?", Jordan asks, sitting next to me at the couch with a cup of coffee in her hands, "and was it Steven Hendrix at the door?" Different from last night, she doesn't look like a fangirl anymore, but as a friend who is worried. Even though she still doesn't know what happened, I can see she sensed the bad blood between us, and I like the way she didn't insist on knowing everything. Jordan is actually proving to be a great friend.

"Well, answering your question: yes, that was Steven. He was asking for me to co-write his new album with him, in exchange for promoting my clothing line and this murderous glance is reserved for him and him only." I explain.

"Ah, makes sense. I know we've just became friends but it kind of hurt that you guys didn't even care to tell me you went to school with the band. Not that I'm mad though. It's your business and I know you probably have good reasons not to tell me. Anyway, what I mean to tell you is, you can come to me whenever you need me, k?" she tells me, holding my hands.

"Thank you, Jordan. For real. And I'll tell you everything when I'm ready."

She nods quietly before looking at me, there's curiosity in her eyes and I sense a question coming up.

"If you don't mind", she looks at me cautiously,"Do you love him? Steven I mean."
I had it coming, but her straightforward question still managed to knock the air out of me.

Do I still love him? Maybe. He hurt me a lot and I hate him too, so it's complicated. I try to explain that to Jordan who just looks at me with a knowing look on her face, as if she had been there already. "you know, I believe it takes some amount of love to hate someone. And I think you should give it a shot to co-writing with him. But for now that's enough. How about some philosophy words from our favorite girls Brooke, Haley and Peyton?"

After spending the whole morning binge watching one tree hill with Jordan, we were joined by Lisa, for lunch at east village. It was a great afternoon with my friends and we later stopped by the fifth Avenue for shopping.

"So, Steven showed up this morning", I start to Lisa, telling her his request. After I finish she just looks at me and says something I never imagined coming out of her mouth,
"I think you should do it. I mean, it will be great for your clothing line and you are an amazing songwriter, Mack."

When I started venting for her about what happened this morning, my expectations were for her to put some sense in my head and tell me that was crazy and an absurd and that by doing this I would just drown more and more into him. But no. She just told me to do it. God, in 24 hours my whole world has been turned upside down.

Okay, it's official, I will help him and make him suffer. Yeah. A little 3rd grader of me? Absolutely, but I'll do it. Will write his new album and make his life miserable in the process, boys only want love if it's torture after all. I immediately start scrambling through my bedroom for my notebook because the lyrics just came flushing to me. As usual.

"So it's gonna be forever", I mumble to myself while trying to write it down. "Or it's gonna go down in flames?"

Yeah, our relationship definitely went down in flames, but he doesn't know the new Mack, I'm not as naive anymore.
"You can tell me when it's over, if the high was worth the pain..." 
I drop my notebook and gather my stuff leaving the house in a rush. Have to do this now.

After my third attempt to get into Steven's floor while proving myself to not be a crazy fan, Dane comes to my rescue, liberating my access,
"So, what do you want with him?" seeing my annoyed face he completes faster, "if I may know."

"Have matters to discuss with him, D. But we can catch up later. Thanks for the help." that's my brief answer as I stroll down the elevator.

My fists pound on the door of his hotel room, and I am already impatient when he opens the door with nothing but a Calvin Klein jeans hanging from his hip. Oh boy. He's shirtless, officially proving I was more than right about those abs sculpted in heaven, his hair is messy and he's barefoot. He looks amazing.

Steven raises his eyebrows by the way I'm blatantly checking him out right now and just smirks, "like what you see?", his ego will get him killed someday.

"You look like shit." He gives me a skeptical look over my terrible lie but doesn't comment on it. "so, what do you want?" He finally asks.
"Okay, I'll be brief. I'll help you with the album." there's genuine surprise and happiness on his eyes when he looks at me making my stomach flutter, "but, there are a few rules."
"Humm, okay, which rules?" he asks, clearly curious.

"You don't act like an asshole with me, seeing that I'm merely helping you. You don't show up with girls in the middle of our section, you don't show up late and don't try to force a friendship with me. It won't happen. We can't talk about our past either, it will only distract us from writing and after this is over we follow our own lives as if this never happened."

Before he has the chance to protest, I'm already leaving.