salt air and serendipity [lrh]

six

TW // this chapter mentions sensitive topics such as suicide and blood!! if you do not feel comfortable with that do not hesitate to skip!!

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It was completely dark outside, the stars bright in the sky, the moon half full, and I was almost back to my house with Luke still grasping my hand. I hadn't let go of his since dragging him out of Michael's backyard, our fingers intertwined together unlike the forceful wrist grab I had gotten used to this past week from the boys.

Luke had asked where we were going, knowing we were obviously not going in the direction of his home, and all I said was I had to change and pick up a few things. I wanted to get out of here tonight. Unfortunately, all of my best friends were getting on my last nerves, Ashton especially, my parents weren't understanding at the moment, and the only person I felt safe with was this blonde boy I had met earlier this week. He had stopped asking questions, seeing my heavy mood, but he hadn't tried to break free from my grasp, he actually tightened his grip, purposefully holding on.

Once we got to my front door, I finally let go of his hand, opening it softly and sneaking up the stairs together. I didn't want to be seen home so I could slip right out again without any questions asked.

Up in my room, Luke sat on the bed as I sifted through my closet. "Are you, like, okay?" Luke finally spoke again, breaking our almost 20 minutes of silence.

"I just want to go for a drive. I never can. I want to go with you." I say with almost zero explanation. Living in this small beach town, my family had one shared car. For my parents to go to work and for Ricky and me to be driven to school when it was in session. I mainly walked everywhere or rode a bike around town. I never learned to drive, there was no need. The guys could drive, Ashton and Michael even had their own cars, but I didn't feel the need to learn. I'd driven around in Michael's car on open land a couple of times, I wasn't a complete mess when it came to road knowledge, but there was no permit or license under my name. "You can drive, right?" I ask Luke, not turning around.

"Yeah, of course. Can... you not?" I hear him shuffle behind me, changing his position on the bed. I didn't answer, though. "Never mind. Where do you wanna go?" He drops his question. He knew I didn't want to talk, at least not at this moment. That's what I liked about Luke, he seemed to get me and understand what I was feeling.

"Anywhere. We can drive all the way into the city, I don't care." My words were laced with anger, but I wasn't actually mad at him. I'm not sure if I was mad at anybody, or just myself.

I became frustrated with myself, not being able to find clothes I would want to wear and I felt tears in my eyes. I sniffled, trying to stop myself. I was at the point where every little thing made me want to scream and cry, but I wouldn't do that. I had to be okay. I fall to the floor, letting a huff of air escape my mouth, and throw whatever I was holding to the ground.

"Why don't we just get out of here? Have you eaten any dinner?" Luke asks. I feel him come up closer behind me.

I turn around and our faces are inches apart, his hand on my shoulder. "Nothing all day."

"We'll find a place to eat. My treat." He stands up and offers me his hand. I take it and pull myself up to his level with my bag in my other hand. This time, he's the one that doesn't let go of my hand and walks me back down the stairs. He's much more gentle with his leading than I am. No dragging, or pulling, or forceful movements at sharp corners.

We walked all the way to his house hand in hand. Luke asked what kind of food I was in the mood for or what I liked and I asked him the same question back. I didn't want to pick something he hated, to seem like I forcing him to take me everywhere. All he did was shoot the same question back again. I told him I liked Japanese, sushi, or something. It was a rare occasion where I ate anything like that, but I did for special occasions. The first time I had food other than something homemade or from a local restaurant was in 6th grade for Ricky's 13th birthday. We went to the city and ate at a very fancy, very expensive, Brazillian grill place. I didn't like any of it and decided to become a pescatarian after that.