salt air and serendipity [lrh]

seven

The entire town of Bethany Beach was dark and quiet by the time I arrived back home from my spontaneous adventure with Luke. Usually, summer nights had at least kids playing outside or a block party, but tonight was different. I only saw one of my neighbors, Mrs. Fontenelli, walking her Great Dane puppy as Luke passed her while driving me to my house. It felt as though the atmosphere knew of the conversation I subjected Luke to on this night.

Inside the sushi restaurant, I told Luke more about Ricky, the memories I had, the reasons he was my best friend. I could see in his eyes the way he realized I was almost describing him. I didn't know him inside and out as I did with Ricky, but I knew that was what he was thinking. Ricky wanted to be a writer. He went to university for a little over one year for creative writing. He started writing small stories when he was 10 years old and made me perform them with him and then forced the boys as well once we became close. He told me he had finished one full novel but never gave it to me. I wish I could've gotten to read it, perhaps try and publish it for him, but I couldn't. That caused me to learn Luke loved to write as well. He didn't write stories, he wrote songs, but it was similar enough to hitch my breath.

When Luke asked if I knew why he had done it, that's when I shut down. I was told in his note about the way he felt the world as this massive weight suffocating him and that Tj knew the real reason, but I didn't have a definitive answer. It felt wrong, almost selfish for me not to know. I thought we had told each other everything only to be felt lied to by my dead brother. But Luke saw my reaction. He knew when to stop.

After sharing my deepest darkest part of myself with him, I wanted to know something in return. Though, I know how sick that sounded. I told you what makes me cry at night, what about you? I would just have to wait to understand the deep interworkings of Luke Hemmings a little longer.

I snuck up to my room as quietly as I could to not wake up my parents. By now, I knew they would be asleep, or almost there. They must've thought I was sleeping over at Michael's and left it at that. I got into my room, my bed still the mess I left earlier today, and stripped off my clothes that Ashton picked for me. Only covered by a pair of black underwear, I threw the clothes into the hamper next to the closet and grabbed a t-shirt from the closet floor. I didn't care to wash my face or clean up at all. This day was exhausting, just how Ashton kept describing me.

I crashed into my bed and felt something hard under the blankets that defiantly were not pillows. I sat back up, removing the covers from the bed to reveal a sleeping Calum under the comforter. I was practically unphased, so I just shook him awake, and when that didn't work, I lightly slapped him across the face.

"Ah! Scout, what the fuck?!" He shoots me a disgusted look.

"What are you doing asleep in my bed?" I give him the same look back, crossing my arms.

Calum turns over to his side, looking up at me. "I was worried about you..."

"Don't be." I turn away from him, sitting up and staring in front of me at the wall. "I just wanted to go out for a bit."

"Well, why didn't you just say that? We all would've agreed to come." Calum tells me, placing a hand on my leg to pull himself up from laying down. "You didn't even text us back. You just took Luke and left."

"Because I didn't want to be w-" I stopped myself before I would say something I would regret. "I just- Ashton was annoying me all day and I wanted to leave." I take a deep breath and calm myself down.

Calum sighs loudly. "He told us about the conversation you had in the kitchen. I must admit, he didn't have to be such an asshole."

"He's been being an asshole for weeks now. Did I do something wrong? I'm just confused why he talked to me like that. And then had the nerve to tell me it's because he cares about me and loves me. If he loved me, he'd just leave me the fuck alone." I rant, pulling my legs to my chest.