salt air and serendipity [lrh]

eleven

The next thing I remember is waking up in an unfamiliar room filled with boxes and pictures of people I didn't know. It was Luke's room. I remember faintly what it was like from the time I had gone inside with him. I look next to me to see a sleeping Luke sprawled out on the bed, leaving me with little to no space. I'm surprised he didn't knock me off the bed when we were sleeping. 

I saw myself in the mirror across from the bed. My hair was up messily and I was in a shirt and pair of sweatpants I didn't recognize as mine or anyone I knew. Checking my phone, I see a number of missed calls and texts from all of the boys as well as one from Enya asking if I was alright. It was like the night I left with Luke from Michael's place.

Then I remembered what happened. 

I saw Tj.

My brother's best friend. The one who is supposed to know everything and why Ricky is dead. The one who seemed to had left off the face of the earth after his funeral, leaving me with nothing by agony and questions. Yeah, that Tj. 

He must've been in the city either to visit or he lives there now. All I remember is having a casual conversation with him, which lead to me asking more questions, him getting profoundly upset and not answering me, and then me slapping him, ending with me a crying mess and him out the door to whatever restaurant we were in. 

Calum had to take me away from crying in the middle of the restaurant floor, embarrassing myself. We just left the city that night, canceling the remainder of our plans. Piling right back into Luke's car the same way we arrived, this time with no music on, the silencing being louder than anyone could handle. Everyone knew what I wanted from Tj and what I didn't get. Everyone kept asking if I was okay and I would brush them off, leaving the car to be quiet except for a few small whisper conversations in the back. 

When we got back into town, Enya was dropped off and each of my three best friends in the back of the car asked if I wanted them to stay with me tonight or if I wanted to not go home yet. I told them to all go home and get dropped off. This left Luke and me alone in the car yet again. Nights with us alone in the car never happened when we were happy or satisfied. He asked one more time if I wanted any company tonight and this time I said yes. He took me back to his place and we talked for a while. This poor boy was almost turning into my therapist. He told me about a time he got slapped by a girl in public. It was for completely different reasons he didn't elaborate on, of course, but I assume he was trying to make me smile. 

And that's how I ended up here in Luke's bed.

I want to say it was my fault for the night escalating and getting ruined, but I couldn't blame myself for wanting answers. Could I? It hasn't even been a full year since Ricky left and I still don't know why. Why didn't he just tell me in the letter? Why didn't he just talk to me?

I finally got up and searched for the rest of my things. My tote bag was next to the bed against the wall and next to that, my clothes from the day before neatly folded with my shoes on top of the pile. A smile formed in the corner of my mouth and grabbed my things. I would stay to wait for Luke to wake up, but I knew my parents would be worried and Calum would be at my window any minute now. 

I found a piece of notebook paper and a pen and wrote him a note to leave next to him. 

Thank you :) You're a good clothes folder btw. - Scout 

I closed the door as quietly as possible and went downstairs to leave. Only with my luck, there was someone in the kitchen as I passed by to the front door. I pause almost in fear when the woman turns around to face me, giving me a smile. It must be Luke's mom.