The Ninth || Chrollo x Reader

XXV. The Memory

TW: The following contains depictions of mental trauma and panic attacks. Please read at your own indiscretion!
A chill creeps up on my spine, and I shudder as my blood freezes over. My eyes begin to water, and I shake my head slowly. Looking down at my hands, I open and close them carefully, seeing my fingers stretch open.

    Why?

    There is a cold fury in my heart that wishes to be melted. As I stand between everyone, time itself is still. I cannot feel my heart beat, nor can I feel the oxygen flow through my lungs. It is as though I myself have also stopped.

    Why did it have to be them?

    The Phantom Troupe stand beside me, their eyes coolly gaze onto those of the Zodiac's. They are positioned for battle, ready to spring from their places and end lives within seconds.

    If only-

    The flames continue to spread around us, it's heat flickering wildly. The light illuminates the room that shields us from the moonlight of the night sky.

    Moonlight lit up her light green hair, as she crouched before the body. Her hands are stained with the blood of her mother, and she turned around to face the girl.

    Cheadle Yorkshire killed my mother.

    My heart seizes with a surge, and I grip the fabric in front of my chest. I cough weakly, and my vision blurs before I relive the scene once more.

    Moonlight lit up his printed hat, as he crouched before the body. His hands are stained with the blood of her mother, and he turned around to face the girl.

Mizaistom Nana killed my mother.

    Gasping for breath, I crouch onto my knees, bending over and digging my nails into the rubble of the room. Each breath I take is agony, and again my vision darkens.

    Moonlight lit up his blonde hair, as he crouched before the body. His hands are stained with the blood of her mother, and he turned around to face the girl.

Kurapika Kurta killed my mother.

    Tears leak from my eyes and my body shudders as I tremble on the floor. My throat is parched, and my fingers are bleeding, yet I continue to lie there. My head rings, and I grimace before I clutch my hair as though the pain would disappear.

    My knees curl up to my chest, and I weakly lie in a ball. I hear my heartbeat, and feel the shaking in my breathing as I lie there. Images flash in my mind of Yorknew that night. Though now my mind is clearer, the image of the murderer continues to stain my consciousness.

    Their face is blurred, their clothing is grey, and all that is clear is my dead mother's body. The sight of the blood on her chest, and the trickle from her lips. Her eyes are dull grey, and wide open, illuminated weakly by the stars.

    Who was it?

    I cannot think. My mind seizes up and freezes, refusing to allow me to control myself. Was it not the Phantom Troupe? Was it not the Zodiacs?

    Who was it?

    My eyes shut tightly, and darkness is all there is to see. I frantically recall the night, but there is nothing to see other than her mangled corpse that lies on the concrete.

    Who was it?

    My heartbeat settles, and my breathing slows. I focus on the image of the dull person before me, crouching over my mother's dead body. His eyes are red, his hair is green, and he wears a white and black hat.

    Again, a flash of pain fills my mind, and I cough, sputtering weakly before digging my knuckles into the dirt. With my other hand, I punch it into the ground as well, forcing myself up. The rocks tear at my skin, and beads of blood begin to drip from my hand.

    Sweat begins to form at my face, and as I raise my eyes across the room, I see them.

    Green hair.

    My right hand covers my face, and my eyes widen. From between my fingers, I see.

    They killed your mother.

    From behind my hand, I see.

    The Zodiacs killed your mother.

                                                ***
    I exhale.

    Time has continued, and the Phantom Troupe turn to Chrollo as they await his order. He stands there, his eyes on the enemy, as he appears to think. His jaw is set, and he asks,

    "(y/n), are you a Zodiac?" Panic seizes me, though I glance sideways to look at him. He does not acknowledge me as he asks the question. Nobunaga looks at him, and his gaze lands on me, as his eyes flash in anger.

    "(y/n)?!" he shouts. He opens his mouth, but his words die down as Chrollo raises a hand. Nobunaga takes a few steps backwards, and I feel the chilling gazes of the Troupe land on me.

    From across the room, I know that the Zodiacs also listen intently. They stand there, their eyes focused upon me. Cheadle's eyes are dark, despite the light that shines in the room, as she seems to calculate her decision based off my response.

    My eyes leave Chrollo, and turn to Cheadle and the Zodiacs from across me. Behind the wall of flames, behind the ruins of what once was the HQ lobby. Cheadle's eyes meet mine, solemn, awaiting my words. It is not unlike her to wait, to be patient, and to lose faith. Though in her circumstance, perhaps it is best that she leaves it behind.

    "Chrollo, do I make a good Spider?" I ask, not to avoid the question, but rather to secure my answer. In my peripheral vision, I see Chrollo glance at me, before replying,

    "Yes." After replying, Chrollo does not explain his choice, he merely stands there and awaits for my answer.

    "Then, it seems that I am a Spider. Do you have any objection to that?"

    Chrollo does not answer, rather, he smiles, and fully turning to him, I see that his eyes are lit up from the flames of the fire. His hand lifts from his side, and I follow his one outstretched finger.

    Pointing towards the Zodiacs, he says, "Then kill all those who are not."

Author's note: Thank you for being patient with this update! If you liked it, please remember to vote! I'm not sure if it's easy to follow along with this one chapter, but it is the last one with internal conflict- as always, I'm open for criticism, as long as it is helpful, so feel free to comment!
~Amorevolous