Falling For Her Dream

CHAPTER EIGHT

Abby, Alli and Kristopher dined together in a quiet booth for dinner.  Just as they were finishing up, the very popular dining car filled to capacity for the last opportunity to eat before the kitchen closed for the night.  They vacated their booth so other passengers could be seated.  Alli walked ahead of Kristopher and Abby back to their sleeper car.  As they approached the cabin, Kristopher grabbed Abby’s hand to stop her for a moment.  “I have to go back to my seat in another car.  I’ll say goodnight to you now.  Thank you for today and thank you for tonight.  I’ll be thinking of you”.  As Alli let herself into the cabin, Kristopher leaned into Abby and gave her a light kiss on the cheek.  “Kristopher…” Abby spoke softly, not wanting to part from Kristopher at that moment, “I’m not ready to say goodnight to you”, as she looked down to her feet, somewhat timid.  Kristopher tilted her chin up with the slightest touch of one finger.  “Nor am I, but I have to go back now.”  Not sure if Kristopher simply wanted to leave her, Abby took a chance and suggested, “We could go to the Observation Car for a while…”.  As he looked into her eyes, he knew he wanted to hold Abby for a while, hell, he wanted to fall asleep with her in his arms, and this time, he wanted to wake up to her right there too!

Kristopher had agreed to stay with Abby a while longer, so Abby helped settle Alli in the cabin on the upper bunk and then headed with Kristopher to the Observation Car.  There were only a few people in the car at that time, it was dark outside with nothing really to see, the new moon was providing no light at all.  They shared a twin seat and continued their conversation from earlier.  They had been talking for over and hour and during that time, Kristopher had pulled Abby over to him so she could snuggle into him.  His arm was around her and once again he felt the same as when they had drifted off to sleep in her little cottage, she fit perfectly between his arm and his chest, like she was built the perfect size for him to cradle her like this. He almost enveloped her.  They were both getting tired, and Abby put her free arm around Kristopher’s body.  With her head on his chest, she could hear his heartbeat, feel his warmth and his voice vibrate through her as he spoke softly.  Abby knew, if she stayed like this much longer, she would fall asleep.  Eventually, giving into the need to shut her eyes, Abby sat up and begrudgingly said, “I need to go back, I’m going to fall asleep like this”.  Kristopher only had a few seconds to find a response before Abby continued, “Come back to the cabin with me…stay with me”.  Kristopher didn’t have to be asked twice, he agreed and helped her up from the seat.  The train made a few unexpected movements that made both of them stumble a little and Kristopher caught Abby with ease.  Abby was becoming very fond of the strength within Kristopher’s quite capable arms, she was almost starting to crave those arms!

Most people were asleep for the night, it made Abby feel as though she and Kristopher were the only ones on the train.  Kristopher had stopped along the way to pick up his backpack he’d left stored in a secure place from when he’d boarded.  He wasn’t sure how long he’d be away from home, so he had packed only the minimal of essentials.  As they arrived at Abby’s sleeper, she stopped at the door and turned to Kristopher, “Can you wait here a minute, I want to change and there isn’t a lot of room inside”.  Kristopher felt awkward waiting outside, especially if staff came along while he was loitering outside someone’s room, but he agreed.  Abby quickly went in the cabin and changed into a pair of, kind of embarrassing, flannelette pyjamas.  It had only been a few minutes and Abby was letting Kristopher in.  Kristopher realised how correct Abby was.  The cabin had been turned down for the night and you almost couldn’t walk into the room.  Abby climbed onto the bed and scooted under the covers.  She had moved as close to the wall as possible so there was enough space for Kristopher.  “Do you mind if I just wear my boxers and t-shirt?”, Abby was asked, and her response was a simple shake of her head, no, and not realising it, she was biting her bottom lip a little.  Kristopher just stood in the small gap where the single chair had been folded away, staring at Abby, in the low light, ever so gently biting that bottom lip.  Snapping out of it, he quickly removed his jacket, long sleeved t-shirt, shoes, socks and jeans.  All that was left was his boxers and short sleeved t-shirt that was underneath his outer layers. 

Slowly, Kristopher edged his way onto the small bed.  He laid down and rested his head on the spare pillow next to Abby’s.  She was leaning on her elbow, turned towards Kristopher.  The very moment he was settled on the small bed, he put his arm across to Abby’s pillow in a gesture for her to cuddle with him.  She didn’t hesitate, and with her head on his shoulder, arm across his chest, reaching her hand up to his empty shoulder, she laid one leg over his.  She felt safe, protected and she was starting to love the feel of Kristopher, the beat of his heart and his smell.  She could breathe him in all day and all night, she was hooked!  Kristopher held her with his free hand, pulling her closer and holding her tight.  Abby tilted her face into Kristopher’s neck, rubbing the tip of her nose along and up to his ear, and whispered, “Goodnight Kristopher”, and left a trail of small kisses along his neck as she rested on his shoulder again.  With a small kiss on her head, Kristopher whispered back, “Goodnight Abby, have sweet dreams”.

There was movement outside the cabin.  They were stopped at a train station and were taking on new passengers.  Abby slept though the disturbance, and Kristopher was grateful.  Abby had entwined herself with him and he was enjoying every second.  There was the faintest slither of daylight peeking through a gap in the window curtains.  The sun was up, and Abby was still in his arms.  He felt like everything was starting to go the way it should.  He was starting to feel close to true happiness, even if he wasn’t smiling all the time on the outside, he sure was on the inside. 

For the rest of the train ride, Abby and Alli took hundreds of photos of the beautiful countryside, they changed trains in Chicago and finally made it to Moynihan train hall in New York.  The time spent on the train was the perfect opportunity for Abby and Kristopher to really get to know each other.  Abby had already convinced herself that they could never have a real relationship and with Kristopher’s work schedule, being away from his home for months on end, even if she happened to live in L.A, a relationship would be a struggle.  So, she was enjoying the friendship she had struck up with this man.  He was perfect.  Perfect for her, but anything more than friendship would never work.  She wasn’t ready to discuss this with Kristopher, but she knew she couldn’t put it off.

Kristopher had gone off to meet a friend while Abby and Alli settled into their accommodation in New York.  Abby had found a great spot, located near Times Square and Central Park.  She had a small list of ‘must do’s’ and she wanted to start checking that list off as soon as possible.  Kristopher had messaged Abby to check where she was.  She was already halfway to Battery Park to board a ferry across to Liberty Island.  He arranged to meet her there and was on his way.

Kristopher had to have an impromptu meeting while he was away from Abby.  Work commitments had come up and he was expected back in L.A tomorrow.  He was not looking forward to telling Abby and he wasn’t sure how long work would keep him busy.  He had been thinking nonstop since he got the news, when should he tell her?  He decided to not spoil the rest of the day and let Abby know after they had dinner tonight.  He figured Abby would handle the news just fine, but it was already brining him down.  Best she doesn’t know yet, he figured.  He wasn’t ready for any questions she may have; he didn’t want to think about having to go back to L.A already. 

They met at the ferry and spent more time than Abby anticipated at and around the Statue of Liberty.  Both Abby and Alli took so many photos, it was like their cameras and phones were glued to their hands.  Kristopher took a few photos as well, but Abby was taken by surprise as most of the photos he took were selfies of her with him.  Of all the photos Abby had taken, she hadn’t taken any of Kristopher.  She didn’t want him to think she would do something damaging with photos of him.  She just steered clear of anything that may make Kristopher question her and her motives.  He had already accused her of using him and that had stung so badly, she never wanted to give him any reason for more accusations.  Being judged and being thought the worst of was the kind of thing that made her feel sick.  So, Abby had chosen, no matter what she did or what they did together, she would step carefully so he had no further reasons to judge her, label her or think the worst of her. 

After they got back to Battery Park, the next thing on Abby’s list was the Empire State Building, followed by Times Square and getting to see a little of Central Park.  The day was taking a toll on all three of them and on a suggestion of Kristopher’s, they went out for dinner at a place of his choosing.  Abby was never very sure with ordering food in America, she had a bad habit of making cuisine mistakes.  Too many times she would order something that turned out to be not what she’d expected.  So, this time she let Kristopher order for her.  The view from the restaurant was brilliant.  Abby was taken in by everything and Kristopher was enjoying watching the looks she gave.  It was like she was experiencing everything for the first time, and she was so happy.  Kristopher knew the night was coming to an end and he was going to miss the light of joy that was Abby.  Kristopher had already been offered to stay with Abby and Alli at their accommodation and he’d accepted.  When they got back to the room, Kristopher asked Abby to join him on the rooftop where there was a pool and a bar.  He needed to tell her he had to leave in the morning, he couldn’t put it off any longer.

Alli was fine on her own, she planned to shower and go straight to bed on a fold out couch in the room.  She was exhausted.  Abby and Kristopher made their way to the rooftop.  The view was amazing!  “Pick a spot to sit and I’ll get us a drink from the bar”, he suggested.  Abby already had her eye on a bar table with two stools at the edge of the rooftop, it had the best views of the city below and beyond.  “Okay, I’ll be over there”, she pointed, and headed to the spot she’d already picked out.  Service was fast as there were only about a dozen people swimming and drinking at the bar.  “This view is perfect!”, Abby exclaimed to Kristopher as he arrived with their drinks.  She was distracted by the view when Kristopher wasted no more time and dove straight into the reason he wanted to have Abby alone.  “I had to have a meeting earlier.  It’s a work thing.  I’m needed back in L.A tomorrow and my manager has already booked me an early morning flight out”.  He waited for Abby to respond to the news, but she just looked at him.  It was hard to tell if she wasn’t sure what to say or had nothing to say at all.  “I didn’t think I’d have to go back so soon but I have to go, and I’m not sure how long work will keep me in L.A”. 

Abby was thinking about all the reasons why anything more than friendship with Kristopher would never work.  She was now tossing up what to say next.  “That’s okay, I didn’t think you would tag along with us forever.  Your work is important.  Besides, Alli and I are only here tomorrow then fly to Rome the day after.  We are meeting up with my son in Rome.  He’ll be traveling with us as far as Athens.  We’ll be busy for 10 days once we hit Rome.  Who knows where we will be?  It’s one part of our trip that’s not set in stone and could change at short notice.  We could be taking a boat across to Greece or we might fly.  I don’t know yet”.  Kristopher wasn’t quite expecting that response.  He wasn’t sure he was feeling hurt, but he sure didn’t suspected Abby might brush his news off like it meant nothing at all.  He also wasn’t aware Abby’s son was joining them for part of their vacation.  So, he decided to keep Abby talking about her plans in Rome and Athens.  He figured it was worth a try but as she’d already said her plans were up in the air, and she was not very forthcoming with any details.  “Can I keep in touch with you via Facebook messenger?”, he asked.  “Sure.  If you’re not too busy.  Don’t forget time differences if I take a while to respond”.  Kristopher was starting to get the distinct impression, Abby didn’t care at all that he had to go, and maybe she didn’t care if she didn’t see him again…something had changed. 

Back in Abby’s room, she shared the large bed with Kristopher, but there was no cuddling, no intimacy, nothing.  Just a ‘Goodnight’ from Abby to which she received the same ‘Goodnight’ back.  Kristopher found it hard to sleep.  He tossed and turned all night.  He assumed this didn’t disturb Abby because she didn’t move at all.  She was facing away from him; all he could see was her back in the darkness of the room.  She hadn’t moved a muscle the entire night.  He’d set an alarm for five in the morning, not even his alarm made her move.  He laid in the bed a moment to see if Abby would turn his way, but there was still no movement.  He gently removed himself from the bed and stepped into the bathroom, shut the door, turned on the light and began to have a quick shower.

Abby couldn’t sleep all night, but she didn’t move.  She could feel Kristopher tossing and turning, so many times she wanted to turn to him and put her arm over him, but she thought it best to just remain still, like she was sound asleep.  When she heard an alarm chime from Kristopher’s phone, she expected him to just get up and leave but he didn’t.  He laid there for a while and now she could hear the shower running.  She was in two minds of what to do.  She didn’t want him to leave without saying goodbye, but on the other hand, maybe it was best if he just slipped out?  The bathroom door began to open, and the light flicked off.  Abby could hear footsteps and they were getting closer to the bed.  “Abby…Abby I have to go now”.  He sounded a little sad and like he was pleading for her to wake up so he could say goodbye.  Abby opened her eyes; Kristopher was beside the bed and his face was so close.  “Abby, I’m really going to miss you.  Sorry if I spoiled your night last night.  I really don’t want to go, I even tried to get out of leaving but I couldn’t”.  Maybe Kristopher did want something more than friendship?  But how could that possibly work?  Abby reached out and touched the side of Kristopher’s face.  No matter what her head was telling her, her heart was hard to ignore.  She only wished there was some way, some miracle, that could keep them together, be more than just friends.  Kristopher leaned down and kissed Abby desperately on the lips.  Abby could feel her throat closing and her eyes welling with tears.  The room was becoming brighter with the early morning sun and Kristopher saw a single tear escape and run-down Abby’s cheek.  He caught it with his thumb as he wiped it away.  He kissed where that tear ended and he whispered, “I’m falling for you Abby.  I don’t want to go”.  Another tear ran down Abby’s face and she held him tight.  “I’m going to miss you too”.

Kristopher was gone, Alli was fast asleep, and Abby felt utterly alone.  She laid in the bed and sobbed for what felt like forever.  She moved to the other side of the bed where Kristopher had been.  She could smell him on the sheets and on the pillow he’d used.  She wrapped herself up in his scent and let the tears flow.  She knew it was stupid and she reminded herself, it would be worse than this when she went back to Australia, if she continued to spend more time with him.  Hurt was inevitable and she wasn’t going to escape it.  Too late.  The damage was done.  Her heart had taken a severe hit.  She never wanted to feel like this ever again.  It was just as well he’d left now.