Morose ✔️

8

The sessions with my therapist were going good. I went to my appointments, talked to him and went back home feeling a little lighter each time. It wasn't a miracle cure, most of the work was still on my end, but after five times I felt better equipped to get myself back out there.

I'd kept Jesse updated on my progress with emojis, and when I sent him a sad one, he'd come over and sit with me in silence, watch TV or eat junk. Or a mix.

As he sat on the coffee table leaning forward to my TV to set up a new device of some sort he kept spitting out some bad words now and then. And then he sighed, turned to me and said, "Helix asked where you've been last night."

I blinked at him. "Did you tell him?"

He grimaced. "Nah, figured it wasn't my place, but he was wondering if he could come with me when I was coming here today." I blinked again, and he looked around the room as if something was hidden somewhere before he chuckled at me. "Obviously I said no."

"He's starting to sound a bit desperate," I commented, biting my lip to keep myself from saying what I was thinking.

Desperate, but cute.

"Yeah, well, I think you should get out of this cramped place for a while, so I'm taking you with me to the clubhouse after this little shit decides to work.."

I scrunched my nose. "Do I have to?"

"No, but some fresh air would be good for you. Some Vitamin D, you know," he said, grinning, before getting a grimace, "from the sun, not..." He waved his hand in the direction of his crotch-area, before dismissing it and turning back to the thing he was trying to connect to the TV.

"Okay.." I wasn't sure what else to say, so I just let out a laugh at him, before pushing myself up from the comfy corner of the tan couch. I sighed and told him I'd get ready while he fixed it, and started wondering what the hell I was supposed to say if Helix asked me where I'd been..

Studying? Yeah.. I'd say I was studying. It wouldn't technically be a lie either. I'd caught up on my assignments after I started seeing the psychiatrist again, I felt a little less pressure when I'd handed in the three big ones that were long overdue, and I'd set off a whole lot of time to catch up on reading, bought new marker pens and a notebook, and I even signed up for a few webinars..

The truth was that I was afraid to explore the attraction I felt for Helix. "Why?" Neil had asked when I told him that exact thing, and I brought the short question back home with me without finding a real answer. He argued that Jesse thought he was a good guy, and that we both trusted Jesse's judgment. So... I didn't put up as much of a fight when it was time to leave. To see him again.

Jesse's bike had gotten a new layer of paint on it where it previously was shiny and black: now it was matte and yellow. I didn't comment on it, I knew he liked to change it up now and then, and he worked at a place where people did that sort of thing all the time. Maybe he did it himself, even.

I hopped off before he could stop the engine, and took the helmet off, staring up towards the house. It looked so different in daylight. It still needed a stroke of paint, but it was more... cozy. There wasn't the loud music booming through the walls either, and the porch had been decorated with flowers that probably wouldn't have survived the cold nights around the time I was first there. I liked it. Jesse took my helmet from me and started walking towards the stairs up the porch and said, "He's probably in here somewhere."

I didn't reply. Instead I just followed him inside and saw the mostly empty living room. It was filled the last time I was there, but now it looked like it needed an overhaul, and a vacuum cleaner. I chuckled a little at it, but my smile disappeared when I met the big, scary guy's eyes as he got up from the exhausted couch.