passports (hlvrai x reader)

chapter eighteen.

a/n: hey everyone!!! sorry for such a long wait, i hope you enjoy the chapter! <333

(y/n)'s pov~

cold.

it was cold.

i felt myself shudder, then immediately felt pain rush through my body. i winced loudly and i slowly opened my eyes, squinting to try and let my eyes adjust to the bright surroundings. once i was fully accustomed to the brightness, i looked around in confusion.

'where the hell am i?'

'i don't remember when... when did we..'

...then it all came back to me.

my heart started to race and my breathing was now heavy. i started to look around more frantically, but there was no one else around.

"gordon?.." i called out, my voice hoarse and croaky. there was no answer.

"tommy?" i shouted out again. nothing.

"coomer?- bubby?" silence.

"...benrey?"

my throat began to burn at this point and my eyes began to water in fear. i attempted to calm myself down but to no avail, my breath still shaky and my vision scattered. after a few moments i finally reached into my pocket and grabbed a can of soda, listening to the top crack open as i chugged the cold liquid, not caring that it was slightly foaming up in the process. i swallowed hard and took in deep breaths as i stared down at the sprite in my hands.

there was a metallic taste to the soda, and i assumed it was from the punches i had taken who knows how long ago. i tried to convince myself that everything was okay, but the aching in my body along with the swollen feeling of my face said otherwise.

i felt tears pooling up in my eyes again as i hung my head low, "..fuck," i whimpered out, feeling alone and now vulnerable to anything and everything in black mesa.

'this could be it. they could all be dead and i'd just be... alone. searching endlessly until i decide to- stop.. playing.' i thought to myself.

i could always just... stop playing. i'd be shaken up for a few days, sure, but then i'd continue to live my actual life. not as a 'scientist', not in black mesa, just... me. i'd eventually forget about the science team, gordon, even benrey at some point anyways, so..

why not just... cut it short?

"pause game," i said confidently. 

the big menu popped up in my face, and this time i didn't hesitate to press the button on the far right.

'leave game'.

i pulled the headset off, feeling a bit free and relieved that all the pain i once felt had now washed over and faded. 

i put my headset down on my desk and noticed it was 11:12 pm.

"jeez, it's getting late," i mumble to myself as i opened my steam library. 

i found the tab for 'half life vr remastered' and clicked on the cogwheel, opening up more options for the game. i hovered my mouse over 'manage' and brought it over the 'uninstall' button.

i hesitated for a moment before inhaling deeply and left-clicking, uninstalling the game. i let out a deep exhale as i also hid the game from my library so i wouldn't regret my decision later. 

after i finished the job, i turned off my pc and my monitors before turning around and plopping myself into bed, wrapping myself up in my covers.

it was all over now.

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