Random Thoughts

April 13,2021-OS

It is literally 11:52pm and i am still awake.

Then suddenly picture of what happened a month ago started flashing in my mind.

Kaka tapos lang namin mag hike non and we are on our way para kumain sa isa sa mga kainan don.

Nang matapos kami umorder at makahanap ng place na mapag kakainan, the husband of my cousin decided to look around a little.

Nung bumalik sya, may kasama na sya. A lady around her 40s i think. My titas and titos just so happened to know them.

Then they started talking about her love story with her ex.

I will just call the lady 'marie'.

Marie has an ex. Lets name him... 'Vince'.

Marie and Vince had been together for 2 years. Then nag break sila. Nag cheat si Vince.

But Marie forgave Vince and gave him a second chance.

But.

BUT.

BUT. Again, Vince cheated.

Marie gave Vince a third chance. She promised to herself that this will be the last chance she will give to Vince.

Tumagal sila... but after a few months, naging cold si Vince. Then again, a few more months, nalaman nalang ni Marie na he cheated. Again.

Di lang sya one time na loko ni Vince. Three. THREE TIMES sya naloko.

This time, nagising na sya sa katotohanan. Na they are really nkt meant for each other. She doesnt deserve him. So she chose to let go. Ayaw na nya. Pagod na sya.

Dahil sa pagkagising nito sa masakit na katotohanan, naging napakalaki ang impact nito sa buhay niya.

Marie is known for being a hardworker in her job. But matapos ang nangyari, she cant focus on her work. She cant focus on tasks. She cant focus on everything.

Even though she wants na natapos na lahat ng work niya, she cant focus.

She also cant sleep. She would cry every night. Thinking kung ano ang masama niyang nagawa at ayaw mag pakaloyal sa kanya ni Vince.

Maraming 'what if's na pumapasok sa itak niya.

That is when she thought of going to the doctor. A psychologist to be specific.

At ang sabi nang doctor ay may severe deperesion sya. Well I dont really know much about depression basta something na ganon.

Pinatake sya ng meds. Tinatake parin naman niya yung meds pero wala paring effect.

Then naka limutan ko na kung anong nangyari :))

Basta ayon.

Then non after kong mag eavesdrop sa story telling ni 'Marie' at nang natapos niyang mag kwento ay napag isipan na namin umalis at umuwi na.

Just so you know, while Marie was nag kekwento, dumating na yung pag kain at kumain kami habang nag kekwento sya. Tapos na raw si Marie kumain eh since nauna sila samin.

Nung nasa sasakyan na kami, the word depression, anxiety, and panick made me really confused.... ano ba pinag kakaiba nang tatlong yon?

Then... bigla kong naimagine yung nga kinwento ni Marie... kung pano sya niloko... kung gano sya kadepressed.

Tas bigla nalang ako nahirapang huminga. Biglang nalang nanikip dibdib ko. Di ko malaman kung humibulis ba ang tibok nito or bumabagal. Tas bigla nalang... akong umiyak...

And here I am, hangang ngayon di parin alam kung bat nang yari bigla yon... di naman pwedeng asthma kase wala ako non. Di ko rin alam kung depression or anxiety or panick attack man yon kase never pa ko nakaranas non...

Ano kaya iyon? May possibility bang depression yon... or anxiety... or panick attack... or asthma... or iba...?

Names and events are all work of fiction. Walang totoo sa lahat ng toh.

Pero ano sa palagay mo ang naranasan ni Main Character? Depression, anxiety,panick attack, asthmas, or may iba pang pwedeng dahilan?