Never Fully Gone (A Straight Furry Story)

Hole Hearted

I was sitting sitting on the steps leading up to the front porch watching as the ambulance and police cars finally left after what had to have been a 3 hour investigation when the door behind me opened and my dad stepped out and sat down next to me. "Here" he said, holding out a folded up piece of paper. "I was picking up the stuff that fell off the nightstand and this got buried by the books." I took the paper from his hand and unfolded it, looking it over closely noticing the shaky letters, the lack of punctuation, and the now dried tear drops that had smeared the ink in some places. "Dad, how long has he been outwardly depressed like this? Like, I knew he hasn't been in the best place mentally since the divorce but I don't ever remember it being this bad." I turned to look at his face, seeing the memories and recent realizations playing in his eyes. "About a year ago is when I noticed his attitude went from, well, less than ideal to worrying. He's been going to therapy for the last 7 months but his therapist has been telling me that it was obvious he was holding something back during their meetings. But now we have to trust the words on that paper" he said, with each word bringing more and more wetness to his eyes, and making his already expressionless face even more saddening. I look back down at the paper again, my line of sight landing on hopeless. We sat there, not saying anything for a while before he broke the silence. "You can stay here if you want, or you can go home and I'll let you know when the funeral will be, when I find out." I let out a sigh, looked out at the road and let another tear roll down my cheek. "I'll stay."

I stood up and walked inside, setting the note on the counter and taking my keys. "Do you want anything from in town?" I asked, already making my way to the door. "Honestly, can you get me a pack of cigarettes?" "Honestly, no. I will not get those for you. But I can get you a vape instead." I replied. "No no no, you know how much I hate those things." He fired back. "Well I'm sure you'll hate lung cancer a lot more, so I'm looking out for your best interest. I'm getting you a VAPE and if you don't like it you can pick up your own cigarettes when I leave." At this point I was starting to get frustrated so I left without waiting for him to tell me anything else. As I was making my way to my truck a glint of black and green caught my attention. "Is that a...no way." I step closer, in absolute disbelief of what is sitting before me. "So that's my Christmas present that he couldn't wait to get me." I let my eyes scan over the brand new motorcycle, tracing the plastics and graphics with my paw. ZX10R. "If only the circumstances weren't so shit, then I'd actually be ecstatic. But this isn't going to be a happy memory. Fuck." I snap out of it and walk back to my truck, fire up the engine, and start my drive towards downtown. I was so in my thoughts that I didn't realize I neglected to put on any sort of music or talk show until I got to the smoke shop. It was a short trip. I knew what I wanted and I didn't make any small talk with the cashier. I know I was making my emotions more obvious than usual but I really didn't care, and I could tell he was feeling my negative energy. I took the liberty of building and priming my vape at the shop so I could use it during the drive back, but kept Dads in the box so I could at least show him how to use it, regardless of wether he keeps it or not.
   "Why do I have to click the button so many times to turn it on?" "It's like a safety thing, if you're carrying it in your pocket there's no way it can turn on by accident." "Can't these things blow up in your face?" "No dad, the older models had a couple instances where some caught fire but that was only while they were charging or the battery overheated." "So when I put the juice in, I have to take dry hits before I start pushing the button? Why do I have to do that?" "Well, because it gets juice in the cotton and keeps it from burning. Burning the cotton makes it taste like ass." Finally after a hundred more questions it seemed like he finally understood what he was doing and why he was doing it, so I went to my room while he started puffing away, mumbling something under his breath. I sit on the edge of the bed and set my phone on the windowsill. I had just closed my eyes when I shot up. "Oh crap! I forgot to text her!"

Updates. Lots and lots of updates
I am so, so sorry you guys. I would like to explain why I disappeared for such a long time. I had every intention of continuing this story a lot sooner, but I started this story before I joined the military, and since doing so have found that the free time I thought I'd have for writing wasn't actually available. That and every time I thought about writing it felt like it wasn't actually going to be for the right reasons. It felt like it was just going to be written because I had to, not because I wanted to. So I waited until the right time, and now I'm in the Middle East for another 4 months and right now seemed like a really good time. Another thing, I started writing this story in November of 2017, and now here we are in April of 2021. At the time the story was being written with a current perspective, but now I'm almost 21 and will have to write in a past perspective, which is SO MUCH HARDER than writing in a current or even future one. I had so much else I wanted to say but I've forgotten it. This is what I get for not writing my thoughts down. Anyways, I am deeply sorry to all of you that I took this long to continue this. I will not be making any promises on when I will continue, but I can promise that I WILL finish this story, regardless of if it happens this year or in 5 years. Thank you all for your messages of kindness, I truly appreciate you all reading my story and I'm hoping you're enjoying it. I love you all!