Red~ Spencer Reid

Part 22

"I love you though, so much" I could hear Spencer say.

I could hear him speak to me, I tried my best to open my eyes but I couldn't. A few hours passed but I think I had fallen asleep.

Slowly my eyes fluttered open, white light flooding my vision. I squinted adjusting my eyes to the light a groan leaving my lips.

My side throbbed from the wound, the painkillers must be running out. I looked to my left. Spencer was sleeping in the chair. His hands linked with mine. I smiled slightly at his sleeping figure.

I gave his hand a squeeze, he shifted in his chair before opening his eyes. As soon as he noticed I was awake a huge smile spread across his face.

"You're awake" He said happily.

"How long was I out?" I asked.

Spencer glanced down at his watch.

"14 hours and 29 minutes and about 52 seconds" Spencer asked.

I let out a chuckle but instantly regretted it as pain shot through my stomach.

"Hey take it easy" Spencer said softly.

"Where are the others?" I asked, my throat dry so my voice was slightly raspy.

"They went to get some rest but I can call them and tell them to come" Spencer said.

"No it's fine I want to spend some time with you first" I said.

Spencer nodded and sat back down shuffling his chair closer to my bed.

"I uh heard what you said" I said to him.

"Really?" He asked.

I nodded my head.

"I did Spence, I just hope you know how much I love you and thanks for staying by my side" I said.

"I wouldn't dare leave you" Spencer said.

We fell into a comfortable silence for a few seconds before Spencer spoke again.

"I was really scared, I thought you weren't going to make it you flatlined during surgery and I thought you were going to-" Spencer said not finishing his sentence.

"You can't get rid of me that easily, I'm not leaving you" I said.

Spencer smiled, before standing up placing a soft kiss on my forehead.

"I'll call Hotch tell him your awake and I think Derek and Penelope stayed the night I'll be right back ok" Spencer said softly as if I was fragile.

I nodded and Spencer went down the hall. A few seconds Penelope and Garcia came running down the hallways bursting into my room.

"Oh my god peanut I'm so glad you're ok" Penelope said.

She hugged me I slight groan leaving my mouth as she hit my wound. A string of apologise leaving her mouth.

"What happened with James?" I asked Derek.

"He didn't make it" Derek said.

I nodded and couldn't help but feel slightly.

"Hey don't feel guilty alright he nearly killed you" Derek said.

"I know" I replied.

Spencer came back in the room handing me a small cup of jelly as I needed to at least get some sort of food in my body.

"The rest of the team are on their way" Spencer said.

I nodded and gave him a small smile as Spencer returned to his spot next to me on the chair. I tilted my head back leaning it against the pillow.

"Hey are you ok you need to eat" Spencer said softly.

"I'm not really hungry" I mumbled.

"You might not me but trust me coming from my previous experiences" Spencer said.

I simply nodded lifting my head up off the pillow taking a spoonful of jelly and  put it in my mouth before setting it back down on the table.

Spencer lifted his hand up cradling my face.

"You look tired" he said.

"Just a little and my abdomen hurts like hell" I groaned.

"Do you want me to get you some more pain relief?" He asked standing up to go get the nurse.

"No" I said a bit too suddenly.

Spencer furrowed his eyebrows and sat back down, furrowing his eyebrows looking at me in confusion.

"I mean no I'm fine" I said more calmly.

"Y/n is there something you're not telling me" Spencer asked.

"It's nothing Spence" I said pulling away from his touch.

"Y/n please if I know I can help you" Spencer said softly.

"Spencer it was a long time ago" I said folding my arms across my chest.

"Talk to me" He said, his voice cracking slightly, he was clearly upset.

I hung my head low bracing myself for what I was about to tell Spencer. I sniffled slightly rubbing my nose before lifting my head up to meet my gaze.

"When I was about 18 I got caught up in the wrong crowds starting well taking things. Abusing medication things like that" I said ashamed of my own actions.

"I got hooked, no one even noticed" I said tears starting to roll down my cheeks.

Spencer reached over and placed his hand ontop of mine.

"I finally got sober, but I still get cravings all the time. I just, I still get cravings" I said.

"Hey hey I understand Y/n" He said reaching up and wiping away a few stray tears.

"Not even Derek knows" I said tears flowing freely.

"It's ok, it's ok come here" Spencer said.

Spencer stood up and carefully wrapped his arms around me as I buried my head into his shoulder.

"You're clean now, we both are" Spencer said softly.

I nodded and pulled away, Spencer placed a kiss on my forehead.

"I just don't want to get addicted again" I said.

"I understand, when you were in surgery I started getting cravings for dilaudid but I got through them because of you" Spencer said softly.

I leaned over and placed a soft kiss on Spencer's lips.

"Thanks for telling me I know it wasn't easy" Spencer said softly tucking a strand of hair behind my war.

I nodded and lay back down taking Spencer's hand in mine his thumb rubbing over the top of my hand.

"I love you" I said softly.

"I love you too" He replied with a smile.