Nothing Left To Lose - (A Jamie Dornan Fanfiction)

17. NY Part III

I casually opened the door leading in to the hotel suite, and the first thing I laid eyes on was Al, sitting on the couch, her elbows resting on the coffee table; her head was in her hands, and as soon as Jamie latched the door shut, her head slowly lifted. She stared at me throw soaking wet eyelashes, mascara stained all the way down her cheeks. She inhaled sharply, and I could hear how shaky her breath was, and it killed me to see her like this.. I could see her hands shaking all the way from where I was positioned. I watched more tears stream down her face as our eyes were locked, and in that moment, I realized that none of this mattered.

She was my best friend. And Adam was my brother.

And.. I was being a total bitch about this.

Sure, I won't lie; it hurt to see that. It hurt to see something so.. unusual. Something that I was mentally unprepared for. It honestly killed me a little. I think it was because of the difficulty that would end up coming along with it; me having to choose a side when there was an argument.. having to be the therapist, and try to help them fix whatever it was that was wrong.

But, if it meant that they made each other happy, then none of that even mattered to me. Yes, I wanted an explanation, and I think they were willing to give me one.

I love them, and I wouldn't ever want the relationship that we all have with each other to end, over something like this. It was too ridiculous.

I wanted both of them to be happy. And, if it meant being with one another.. then so be it.

"Beth.." She said, wiping her face with the back of her hand. I felt tears pricking the corners of my eyes from before, and hearing her say my name like that made me lose them; they were trickling down my cheeks as I tried to catch my breath.

"Allie," I started coming toward her. "God, I'm so sorry." I finally reached her, and she threw her arms around my neck. We were two bestfriends crying over something so ridiculous, and I knew, in that moment, that nothing could ever break the friendship that we have.

"Don't be, I'm the one that ruined everything," She said against my ear, all while breathing really heavy. "I ruined your trip, your big audition, everything, and I'm so fucking sorry."

"No, Al, you didn't." I tried to reassure her. "You all have made it so much better, I swear. You didn't ruin anything at all. I'm so sorry, I made you both feel like total shit over something as small as this, and I feel like a huge bitch right now." I said, wiping my face with my hands as we pulled away from each other. I then saw Adam sprint to us out of nowhere, and I could see that his eyes were red, even from over here.

"Oh, Beth.." He said, exhaling hard. "Please.. please forgive me. Us. We're sorry." He said, looking at me with hopeful eyes.

"No," I said, walking to him. "Forgive me. I'm the one that was acting like a total bitch about it. I am so beyond sorry. And.. I'm so happy for you both." I smiled at him, and he soon smiled back. He then engulfed me in his large, muscular arms, swinging me back and forth. "I love you, shithead." He said, kissing the top of my head.

"I love you, you dumbass. So," I said. Adam had made his way over to Al, and I looked at both of them, including Jamie. "do you mind telling me the story? You can shorten it, I don't care. I just wanna know. I want to be able to understand."

They looked at each other, and smiled back at me. "Yes." They agreed.

..

We were all in the master bedroom; Jamie and I were on one bed, and Allie and Adam were on the other. I was listening intently to what they were saying, as I subconsciously played with Jamie's hair, who was laying on the bed with his head in my lap. They had explained to me that they each had a "thing" for each other, for a pretty long time. They both had decided not to let anything happen between them, due to the complication that would end up coming with it. There were times where the things they had said to each other over the course of our 19 year friendship, had made absolutely no sense, until now - now that everything was being explained, and put into a different perspective. It was all starting to come together, and it made me feel very relaxed.