Josephine

𝓔𝓹𝓲𝓼𝓸𝓭𝓮 57: 𝓣𝓱𝓮 𝓓𝓻𝓮𝓪𝓭𝓯𝓾𝓵 '𝓣𝓪𝓵𝓴'

April 19, 1979

New York, First American Empire

Three years. It had been three years since my attempted suicide. In those three years, I had grown to be twelve times a better person. I was more confident, far less arrogant, and bolder. I was kinder, more open-minded, and more reasonable. I was happier as I didn't let my past control me. I was more fun-loving again and often made more extravagant purchases and threw more grandiose balls. I traveled abroad more often than not, to avoid feeling trapped in the palace. I have visited Japan, Spain, Brazil, Mexico, and other countries. Sometimes it wasn't for business, it was for pleasure. I had learned to have fun again, though I was still very serious. I had gone into therapy to help me with my depression and my anxiety and it appeared to be working. I had taken up meditation and had learned to control my emotions. I had begun painting to express myself more. I felt freer than ever.

Of course, that didn't mean I neglected all my responsibilities. Work was still stressful, having to spend my days in that blasted office signing a pile of paperwork, bill requests, and letters that never seemed to get any smaller but I didn't care about that anymore. It was my job as Empress to pass laws that benefited the people. I went out and did public interviews, something the Traditionalists found appalling and disrespectful, though I would just shun them.

Quite possibly my proudest achievement was amending my relationship with Lord Humberto. Following my attempt when he realized he was partly responsible for my decision he offered support. In fact, he is my therapy sponsor. He still objects to some of my actions that he disagrees with as usual but he is far nicer and doesn't seem so conniving and threatening.

Then came the best part- the reason why I worked so hard-

"Mama!"

The door to my office swung open and Victoria Newman came running in.

"I'm sorry, your majesty, I tried to turn her away, I know you're busy!" Lord Trondheim cried out in exasperation.

"Oh it's fine Lord Trondheim, I can spend a few minutes with my lovely daughter!"

No, I am not remarried, because I know you're thinking that. I adopted little Victoria as my heart couldn't bear to let her live in an orphanage. Due to the type of education she now was given, her stutter was almost eradicated.

"How was school today darling?" I asked as I lifted her up and sat her on my lap.

She giggled and it made me feel all warm and fuzzy inside when she did.

"It was really good!"

"Really? What did you learn?"

"I-I-I learned how to add and subtract three-digit numbers!"

She was very proud of herself and so was I.

"Wow really? Could you show me how to do that?"

"Sure!"

She reached out and grabbed a sheet of blank paper and turned to me.

"Do you need this?"

"Not that one,"

She grabbed a pen and began to scribble math equations. I glanced up at Lord Trondheim, who was Victoria's headmaster of sorts, making sure she got to her lessons and that she was prepared for those lessons. But it wasn't hard, Victoria loved learning and she was a respectable child.

"See, look!"

She showed me neat, well thought out computations.

"Wow, look at you! I'm so proud of you!" I gushed, obviously proud of my daughter.

"Thanks mama!"

When she calls me 'mama' I can't even put into words how good that makes me feel. I know she isn't my blood daughter, so she isn't in the succession. I don't think she's quite grasped that concept yet.

That conversation will be just as awkward as when I have to discuss her transition to adulthood. God, I remember when my father gave me that talk, because my mother flat out refused to. That poor soul, he tried, he tried.

"May I be dismissed, your majesty?" Lord Trondheim asked.

"Of course milord," I nodded.

Trondheim bowed politely and excused himself, gently shutting the door.

"You are getting so smart Victoria,"

"I-I want to be just as smart as you one day mama!"

"Aww, that's so sweet of you to say,"

She jumped off my lap.

"I want to be just like you one day..." She said, staring out the window.

A huge lump formed in my throat.

"Not literally mama!" She exclaimed, wrapping her arms around me, "I know I could never actually be you! I want to be a leader, someone bold and brave!"

"Oh Victoria, you will be one day, you are my shining star..."

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The following night at dinner, the court was gathered for a grand feast. I knew the subject of the dinner, and I had been dreading it for years.

"Your majesty, I shall get right on topic," Lord Humberto stated, "You must, and I cannot stress how important it is, must search for a new husband,"

"I am well aware of how important it is Humberto... I just... it is difficult to consider committing myself to someone..."

They mostly had sympathetic looks in their eyes. They all knew how I felt about matrimony after the events of my marriage to the King of Italy. I can't even say his bloody name.

"Why is it difficult for you mama?" Victoria asked, "Isn't being married amazing and wonderful?"

Her innocent face was cocked, with a strange emotion on her face.

"It should-"

"Your mother's first marriage was not as good as it could have been," Lord Maxwell said.

He tried to be soft, not to reveal the horrific truth to an eight year old, which I was more than enthused about. Victoria nodded, clearly not understanding, but accepting the answer nonetheless.

"Who would you suggest to be a suitable match?"

"That is the difficult thing, your majesty... because you were previously married, and with a child, you are obviously not a virgin... many men pursue a bride who is pure,"

"Ah... you men and your qualifications," I smirked as I sipped on my wine.

"Your maj-"

"I understand why that is important, but we have to consider what young men my age are not already married or currently betrothed,"

"You might have to consider a husband... under the suitable age..." Trondheim said.

"What!?" I cried out, "Absolutely not! There is no way I am marrying a minor!"

"Your majesty, we do not mean a child! We mean, a man aged seventeen, as usually eighteen is the betrothal age,"

"Oh... I'm sorry, I didn't mean for that outburst to happen..."

"Of course your majesty, we just want you to consider that as the only option if it comes up," Humberto said.

The rest of the meal was awkward and quiet, though Victoria tried to lighten the mood by telling jokes, though she could tell it wasn't working.