Josephine

𝓔𝓹𝓲𝓼𝓸𝓭𝓮 100: 𝓕𝓪𝓵𝓽𝓮𝓻𝓲𝓷𝓰 𝓙𝓾𝓭𝓰𝓮𝓶𝓮𝓷𝓽

August 25, 2016

New York, First American Empire

I was so very wrong. This is way too stressful. I cannot believe this is happening! I feel like I'm going to crumple up and collapse. Running two empires at once is far too much to handle.

But I promised Konrad that I would do this for him. I will continue to do this even if it breaks me mentally, physically.

I've thrust Asia into war.

Our summer offensive, codenamed Operation Crushing Eagle, has seized much land and broken the Soviet spirit... for now... as they have retreated behind the Urals to regroup. China declared war in open support for the Soviets. Persian troops are in a quagmire in the Caucasian Mountains and in Central Asia. Japan's fearsome Kwantung Army is going nuts in China, slaughtering civilians and innocents and doing things that would even make my mother squirm.

For the first time I have truly realized that Japan is an evil place. Or, perhaps Emperor Sato is an evil man. A man with sick, twisted desires. He and my mother would've made a good couple to be frank.

Chlorine gas chokes out the skies as Zeros blaze their guns on cities and villages. But I do not have the hopes to force Sato down. I do not want those armies, those navies and those horrible experiments from Unit 731 to be turned on my own people.

I'm scared of what I've done. I'm terrified to be honest. I'm more tired now and everyone knows it.

I'm scared of failing the Germans.

Scared of failing America.

Scared of failing my children.

Scared of failing my husband.

But what can be done? Do I isolate America from foreign politics? No. The repercussions from such a deed would be destructive beyond the human mind's imagination.

I am trapped. I cannot escape my fear. My terror. My paranoia.

I felt a warm hand touch my shoulder. I looked behind me to see Mattéo.

"Josey are you alright? You seem... frazzled..."

I smiled dimly.

"No... everything is alright... just fine... don't worry about me!"

Mattéo sighed.

"I'm supposed to be worried about you... you're my wife after all... are you sure everything is alright?"

I nodded.

"Yes my love, do not fret,"

Mattéo silently slinked off towards John Charles and Victoria, who were chatting about something in the throne room. Carina was there too, at John Charles' side. I had gotten to know the girl more and I was more and more impressed. She will be a good companion to serve and assist John Charles. Sophie was nearby, talking to an aging Lord Maxwell, who I still remember as a young man. My youngest daughter had divorced Constantine, much to his shock.

Believe it or not, modern women don't exactly like being sidelined.

I walked over to the window, a large glass monster that overlooked one of the largest palace gardens. It was calm and peaceful outside. It relaxed me and calmed me.

"Hey, mom?"

I turned to see Victoria.

"Ah yes, Victoria?"

"Are you alright?"

I frowned, "Yes, of course, everything is perfectly splendid! Thank you for asking! Now you may go along!"