CELESTIAL FLOWERS ( s. gojo )

arc iv ━ chapter iv. similarity

a r c iv.
❝ you hurt for them, you break for them,
and they break your heart in return. ❞
━━ chapter iv. similarity

ERISU STARES AT HER REFLECTION. The grey bags underneath her eyes that show a glimpse of the endless nights plagued with strange dreams and vivid nightmares.

The previous evening, she dreamed of towns, dark ones with meager illumination coming from flickering light bulbs and swishing lanterns. And then bright flashes of golden light that covered everything, vanishing the next second. Erisu saw gigantic holes appearing below her and she fell and fell and she tried to grasp onto something, anything that could cushion her descent or stop it, but she kept flailing her arms in failure.

She heads to her vanity to retrieve some creams and powders, dabs it underneath her eyes to hide the grey bags. She's just about done when the servants knock on the door.

"My lady," one of them say. She recognizes it as Otoha, the one in charge of all the matters concerning clothing. She was the one who taught Erisu how to dress herself. Hakama, kimono, yukata. All had been taught by Otoha. "We've come to dress you for the tea ceremony."

Erisu places her cosmetics back in the drawer. "You may enter."

Her face betrays her dislike for the upcoming event. She wasn't really fond of entertaining those people from the Zen'in clan. It was a way to preserve peace between the two clans and tighten their bond, but the ambassadors tended to be difficult. There was Cousin Naoya who always made remarks of how she was unsuited to become the head of the clan, because she was a woman. The nerve! Erisu would accept other criticisms: her immaturity, inexperience and even the fact that she wasn't strong. But to deny of her birthright just because of being a woman?

There were also the old ones who made frequent mention of her dead mother.

"You are as beautiful as Yua," they would tell her. "She was an energetic woman who was as strong as she was beautiful."

Erisu thinks that it's all a bunch of lies. Sure her mother may have been strong, but she can vividly remember her childhood self asking her father what her mother was like. Ebisu would put Erisu on his lap, and caress the top of her head with a soft smile. "Her name was Yua, Amamiya Yua. She was kind and quiet."

"Quiet?"

"She would spend most of her time inside her room sewing," he would tell little Erisu. "She'd hum a song and smile and then go on with her work."

"What was she sewing?"

"Clothes for her dearly beloved."

Erisu with wide, curious eyes. "Who's that?"

And her father would smile that mysterious smile of his. "It's you sweetheart. You were the one she loved most of all."

"More than you?"

That smile again. "She loved you more than she loved anything in the world."

Erisu's image of her kind and quiet mother never resounded with all descriptions of the Zen'in who came to visit. Even when she asked the servants and the elders, their responses would be varied words for kind and quiet. She was always calm and collected. She was like an undisturbed lake. A quiet lady through and through.

Everytime she heard the false descriptions of her mother, annoyance would wrap its claws around Erisu. Hearing about the Amamiya Yua who went into battle, who never listened to anyone and defied those above her and hearing of Amamiya Yua, her mother who was kind and quiet, who was like an undisturbed lake made her ponder on things that she didn't want to think of.