CELESTIAL FLOWERS ( s. gojo )

arc v ━ chapter i. polarity

a r c v.
❝ all the things you have,
all the things you cannot have. ❞

━━ chapter i. polarity

KAZUKO LUNGES. She's learned a lot through research and putting theories into practice. The jitte is more of a defensive weapon so it is understandable that she'd wait for her opponent to attack so she can parry it soon after. But Kazuko knows. Disarming the opponent before they can even attack is the quicker and more effective path to victory.

The curse shrieks when she hits its hands with the tip of her weapon, the blade it was carrying clattering to the ground. She picks it up, maneuvers herself so she can have enough force, and slashes the curse's head off. The stench is foul and she's glad there's no corpse following its defeat. The blade vanishes as well and Kazuko's hand throbs.

Eleven months have passed and that feeling continues to linger. The fear, the anxiety. Will I ever heal? Am I really healing?

"Good job, Kazuko!" Kiyoshi cheers and Kazuko stumbles out of her rapture. She turns to meet Kiyoshi's smiling face. Behind him are the clients who put in the request for an exorcism- the inhabitants of an old nursing home just outside the boundaries of Tokyo.

"Now this place is no longer haunted," Hayami, who just arrived, comments. She has a flute in her hand and behind her are a couple of elderly people and their caretakers.

"You can take the curtain down now," Kazuko tells their assistant and she nods in assent to her statement.

"Are you going straight to the dorms after this, Kazuko?" Kiyoshi asks her when they're seated on the backseat of the car. Hayami is seated on the passenger's seat, her hands fiddling with something on her phone.

"Yeah," she answers. "You aren't?"

"I'll be dropped off by the station," he answers with a smile. "I have to attend a family gathering."

"Hayami, how about you?" Kiyoshi asks.

Hayami tears her gaze away from her phone. She notices the uneven cut of Hayami's hair. "I'll go to the training area and practice my Cursed Technique. The curse I exorcised earlier almost escaped my music's grip."

"Did it do something to your hair?" Kazuko asks. Hayami had long, immaculate raven hair. Now there were errant locks here and there.

"Yeah," she answers and wraps one finger with a lock of her hair. She curls it and lets go. "It slashed at my head, but it only hit my hair. If I get promoted to Grade 2, we'll be assigned to even more dangerous curses, so I figure I should train more so accidents like earlier don't happen again."

"Must be nice to be Semi-Grade 2," Kiyoshi comments and rests his hands behind his head. "Kazuko and I are still stuck in Grade 3."

"Now, now," Hayami says. "I'm sure you'll both do your best."

Kazuko smiles. Weak. Weak. Weak. The word rings throughout her skull, echoes off the flesh walls, and imprints its stench onto her blood. Weak. Weak. Weak. The four-letter word ricocheting off the different bones across her body wraps its claw around her throbbing heart and squeezes.

Kazuko, you're still hopelessly weak.

The driver drops them off at the front gates. Hayami bades her goodbye and Kazuko hesitates, almost telling Hayami that she wants to come with and training will probably do her some good, but witnessing Hayami fight is like being slapped in the face with the terrible reality of her weakness. Hayami's lithe figure, her graceful movements and quick limbs that evade every blow and strike at the opportune moment. Kazuko will watch in envy and the emotion is such a disgusting thing to feel towards one's friend, so she clenches her fist and resolves to waste away the entire morning in the dorm rooms instead.

"Oya, oya, not looking too good are you, twerp?"

"Good afternoon, Gojo-san," Kazuko says instead of showering him with profanities. She's a master of self control. And she's given up on rectifying his horrid nickname for her. She's found that it's preferable to Kazu which reminds her of Erisu's nickname for her and the thought of Erisu sends aches all over her body, so yes, twerp truly is the preferable nickname.

"You're looking more and more like the stone statues over there, you know that?" he asks and points at the statues framing the gates of the school. The lanterns leading up to it curve around an old tree and Kazuko wonders if she can hang Gojo in one of the branches.

Kazuko blinks. Prefers not to utter a response. Silence is the best option when dealing with Gojo.

"See?" he says and shakes his head in disappointment. "Like a statue."

Gojo continues even when she doesn't respond. She wants to leave him here, but she figures it's a pointless excursion as he'd follow her to the ends of the earth just to exasperate her. "If we douse you in gray paint and line you up with those statues, I bet no one will tell the difference!" There's excitement lacing his voice. As if he'd just thought of one of the best ideas ever known to humankind. "Why don't we try it when those higher-ups come over? When they pass by, just move and scare them. I bet they'll be shocked. It'd be great if they fall over and die."

Hearing him mention death with that perpetual smile on his face is unnerving. Kazuko sighs. "You're too disrespectful to the higher-ups."

"I don't respect feces in the form of human beings," he simply replies. "And you should follow that practice too! It's not too late to question every shitty thing they make us youngsters go through."

Question...

Kazuko is not allowed to question the decisions of those above her. Obedience is a foundation of loyalty. Bow your head low. Until you're kissing the ground they walk on. It is only then that you will show your worth as a tool. Those who do not have power obey the wishes of those who have. And weaklings like Kazuko need to obey the desires of the strong.

"Gojo-san, you're a bad influence..."

He pouts and fishes something from his pocket. "Would a bad influence give you this souvenir?"

"Hold out your hand..."

Kazuko does as she's told. She just wants this over with. And maybe it is in accordance to the will of power. To relent to Gojo who wields power in his gaze.

"A chocolate bar?"

"It's a freebie from a store I went to in Miyagi. They serve delicious parfaits. I have half a dozen more for the other twerps," he says.

Kazuko's hand is still held out, her eyes inspecting the chocolate bar in her grasps. "This is... for me?"

"What?" he asks. Gojo does one of his singsong tones again. "You don't want it?"

"Want..." Kazuko blinks. It was a rather kind gesture especially from someone as greedy as Gojo. Who did not even think to share snacks even when he had so much of them. She looks up. Maybe he wasn't as bad as she thought. Sure it was a cheap freebie from one of the stores he went to, but a gift is a gift and Kazuko has only ever received gifts from three people in her entire life.

"Thank you, Gojo-san."

Kazuko smiles at him.

Gojo looks away and there's something on his face, but she must have been imagining it for the next time she looked closely, it wasn't there anymore.

"Do you like parfaits, Kazu?"

"I've never eaten a parfait, so I don't know how to respond to that," she says. "Why do you ask?"

"One of these days," he says. There's a grin on his face. It's a bit childlike. Like there's genuine enjoyment in that cheery facade he always puts up. "I'll take you to that great cafe in Miyagi."

"How suspicious..."

"Hey!" he says and clutches his chest in dramatic Gojo fashion. "It's out of the kindness of my heart!"

"Definitely suspicious," Kazuko utters. "But, thank you, Gojo-san. I appreciate the thought."

She musters a small smile this time. Miyagi, huh? Was that a promise? How nice... The kind gesture, even when it was from Gojo of all people makes her feel warm.

Although it'll probably never be fulfilled.

Kazuko sightseeing, visiting those other places, enjoying tasty treats. It's like one of those selfish dreams. The ones she has to crush beneath the soles of her feet.

 ■ ■ ■

ERISU SIPS TEA. She can see the bones poking out of her skin, the reflection of grey bags under her eyes in the tea. The slight tremors in her palms make the contents of the teacup ripple. Like a once tranquil lake where children threw pebbles on to make wishes.

"Aren't you supposed to be training with the Maruyama girl?" Fuyuko asks her. "Or is she in the room as we speak? I cannot feel her presence."

"She's not here," Erisu answers. She bites her lower lip, ponders. Should she say it? Fuyuko is not one to gossip anyway and she feels like not sharing the truth is going to drive her to insanity. "We... quarreled."

"Ah..." Fuyuko says and places her cup on the saucer. Steam continues to rise from the surface. "So?"

"So I'm not comfortable with training as of the moment."

Fuyuko shakes her head. There's disappointment weighing in on those movements. Kazuko holds the woman with high respect and by extension, Erisu does too. Disappointment isn't something Erisu's thrilled to be in the receiving end of.

"You young ones and your lack of professionalism. Back in my days, even when I itched to gouge out the eyes of some bastard from the Zen'in clan, I paired up with him as ordered and hunted curses with efficiency."

"Your times and mine are different," Erisu replies. "And I am a different from you as human beings are all different from each other."

Fuyuko smiles. It's an unnerving one. Erisu cannot fathom why Kazuko thinks this woman is the kindest out of the three elders. She's always been someone who Erisu cannot charm with her perfect smiles and graceful movements. Her lack of eyesight is a perfect counter for Erisu's disarming looks. And her carefully prepared words all fall on deaf ears. "All Jujutsu sorcerers start out different, but we're all doomed to trek the same destined paths. We will carry the same values and pass it to those who will come after us. Surround yourself with strength, but ultimately die alone."

Erisu doesn't say anything. She wants to lash out against those words. Refute them in Fuyuko's perfectly placid face. But it's hypocritical to do so. Not Erisu who's been pushing everyone away. Who's now trekking a solitary path she's carved for herself by her own sharp words and her overwhelming brightness. Erisu is too much, too bright and even Marika, who could stand the heat of dozens of flames, will not stand the smoldering gaze of the sun.

"You're pushing yourself too much."

"..."

"Talk to someone!"

"..."

"Erisu, you're miserable. You're stupidly miserable. By the gods, someone ought to listen to you..."

"..."

"I'll listen, please."

Erisu's own words. Cold. Carved from glaciers, unlike the iridescent sun with its light that warms the earth. "You won't understand."

"I'll try to."

"It's not worth it."

"Kazuko will—"

"Leave me alone!"

She does nothing. Instead, she sips green tea and gazes at the paintings of mountains and rivers strewn about the walls.

"The ritual is drawing near," she whispers. The cup is now empty, save for a smattering of powder. It's settled nicely on the saucer. "Akifumi-obaasama has told me everything."

"Are you scared?"

"There will be no second chances if I fail, I understand that." Erisu pauses and bites her lower lip again. She almost draws blood, but she stops herself before she can do any more damage. "But what if the worst happens and I fail? What will become of the ritual then?"

"The ritual will go on," Fuyuko answers and her words are truly reminiscent of the characters for her name. Fuyu. Winter. With its frigid breaths and the incessant downpour of snow threatening to freeze over the land. Barren plains and bleak trees underneath the harsh grey sky. It's these words that send shivers along Erisu's spine. "There will be a spare."

━━ to be continued.