CELESTIAL FLOWERS ( s. gojo )

arc ii ━ chapter iv. asperity

a r c  ii.
❝ is this the price of your loyalty? is this the price of your love? ❞
━━ chapter iv. asperity

KAZUKO WAKES TO SEE ERISU'S FACE. No longer an imitation of her own, but Erisu's actual face. The golden eyes and amber hair that glow under any sort of illumination may it be dimly lit bulbs, fluorescent lamps or even sunlight.

The first thing she feels is thirst so she reaches for the pitcher of water propped on a plain tray and pours herself a glass. Erisu is still staring at her and after seconds of realization, she blinks. "Oh, do you want any food, Azu?"

At the mention of food, she feels the hunger in her stomach rumble. "Yeah, if it's not an inconvenience." Kazuko's glad that she's able to speak despite the disorientating feeling wreaking havoc inside her systems.

"It's not," Eri replies. She stands up and heads to the door. Her movements are erratic, they're not as graceful as they usually are and Kazuko's not a hundred percent sure, but she can tell that Erisu is avoiding her gaze. "It's not, so don't worry. I'll call for someone. You should have lunch soon."

After a few minutes, she goes back carrying a basket of star apples. "They're finishing up lunch, so for the meantime, have some fruits." Kazuko extends her hand to receive it, but Erisu leaves her hanging. With furrowed brows, she lays her hands on her lap. "I'll cut the apples into slices, okay? Just wait. This will be swift."

She reaches inside the basket for a small knife and the blade glints against the lights of the room. Kazuko winces. And a sensation of disgust rolls over her. She can feel metal on her skin again and it's slicing slowly, clean red lines all over her body and she looks away, fists clenched over the linen blankets. It's fine. It's fine. It's going to be fine. She inhales and exhales, attempting to steady her heart rate.

"Azu...?" Erisu's voice is concerned, worried.

"I'm fine," Kazuko lies.

"Are you sure?" Her best friend asks. "Or do you not want apples? I have pears in here as well, I just thought that you'd like apples since they're your favorite."

"Apples are fine," she says, head still turned away from Erisu. Look at her. You're acting strange.

She should meet Erisu's eyes, offer a semblance of comfort, but a glimpse of that knife is bound to send her spiraling again. She can't even bring herself to look at her body, at the incisions and bruises and wounds. Her logical mind tells her that they're gone. The wounds will scab and heal eventually. Cursed techniques can be used to speed up her recovery. She'll be back to perfect health in no time. But another part screams. Except there will be scars. Hundreds of them littering her entire body. Scars that will remind her of the darkness and the scent of blood and metal melding together.

Silence. Then Erisu breaks it. "Azu... I... I know you're not okay. When Gojo-san carried you here, with all those wounds, I was so scared. I thought you would die and I've been waiting here every day hoping you'd wake up. And I just want to say that..."

Kazuko finally meets her eyes. She breathes a sigh of relief when the knife is nowhere to be seen. Instead there's a platter of apple slices, cut into a grotesque imitation of bunnies. Erisu's done a sloppy job, but Kazuko couldn't care less. The thought that came with the sweet gesture was enough to warm her.

"I'm sorry, Azu," Erisu says. It's her who still can't meet her bestfriend's eyes. Kazuko hates this. She hates the tremble on Erisu's back and her pursed lips. The stance she usually takes when she's holding herself back from crying. She doesn't want Erisu to cry, doesn't want to hear her voice break. I promised to protect you, it's not right that I'm bringing you pain.