The basketball diaries - Leonardo DiCaprio fanfic

23

Raped? Have I been raped? That's the only question I can think about. How do you even know if you've been raped or not? And what if I get pregnant? Pregnant with a guy who's face I can't even remember.

After a painful schoolday I'm invited over to Aliyah's place. To be honest I just want to get home but maybe meeting her will make me feel a little bit better?

The rainy weather resembles my mood perfectly as I walk through New York City. When I reach Aliyah's house I pull down my hood and exhale a loud sigh. Okay, get it together now Laura, everything will soon be okay.

Or not... When I walk into her apartment I'm surprised to see the whole gang sitting in her living room. You have to be kidding me?! Even Jim is there! I'm just about to turn around in the door and leave but Aliyah has already spotted me.

"There you are Laura! Get over here!" she shouts excitedly. 

I fake a smile which probably looks more like a grimace. With my body literally boiling with irritation I sit down next to Aliyah in the sofa. She hugs me and then they all start talking again about something I have no clue about. 

"She was fucking naked man!" Mickey yells.

"Yeah, they always are." Jim shrugs.

"Yeah, but like why? She just decided that, oh if I wanna die I wanna die completely naked for the world to see?" Mickey scoffs. "I mean, if I were ever to pull the plug I'd dress up in some fucking tuxedo and chains of gold around my neck."

Mickey grins at Jim who has an unimpressed look on his face. "Yeah, Jimmie, you were a little saint though. Gosh. You know what he did?" Mickey asks and looks around at the rest of us. "As fast as she hit the ground, all bloody and smooched up... Jim just ran up and held her. Fucking insane man! What did you even say to her?"

Jim shrugs. "Nothing man."

"Well, it's crazy you know..." Mickey whispers. "People jump from these motherfucking buildings all the damn time. Feels like it's everyday you step onto a dead body, legit! Anyways... All this talk has made me fucking hungry. Should we go and buy some pizzas?"

The gang agrees even though I don't think talking about dead people should make you feel peckish for food. I walk after the others into the hallway and do my best to find my shoes in the mess. No one else but me took them off before entering the apartment and as I try to get them on everyone starts to walk out.

"Aliyah, wait for me!" I pant as I'm still leaning down, trying to tie my shoes.

She doesn't seem to hear me and soon the hallway becomes quiet as everyone has made their way down the house's staircase. 

I sigh loudly and can't help but feel tears burning behind my eyes. Great, am I completely invisible or what? Did no one notice I was doing my shoes? Couldn't they at least wait?

My eyes are soaked as I stand up properly and let my gaze wander over my surroundings. A surprised gasp escapes my lips as I spot a very calm Jim leaning against the wall. He has his hands deep in his jeans pockets and follows my every movement with his eyes.

My first reaction as I see him is to cover my eyes which are soaked in tears, but he's already seen them.

"Hey, Laura, what's going on?" Jim asks in a low, curious voice. 

I bump back against the wall with a sob, scrunching my face up and crossing my trembling arms over my chest. Jim is by my side in less than a second. He uses his fingers to brush the strands of blonde hair away from my wet cheeks. 

"What's wrong?" he whispers, tilting his head to the side. 

I meet his blue eyes and start to sob even harder as I see that there is actually an ounce of empathy in them. 

"You can tell me, I'll help." he mumbles.

"N-no." I stutter.

"Sure I can. There are literally no bounds for me, so just tell me."

"Promise not to tell anyone." I hiccup.

"Sure... I promise."

"I- I think I got- I don't know... But... Raped?" I squeak.

Jim raises his brows. "Alright... When? During the party?"

I nod.

"By who?" he asks.

"I don't know... I don't remember."

"What even makes you think that?"

"Because this guy brought me up in a room. And- and later I woke up in a bed..." I can barely get the words out between the sobs and my rapid breathing. "And my dress was pulled up a- and-" 

Jim sighs and grabs my hand in a strong grip. I can't help but wince by his touch.

"I don't know..." he says under his breath. "You've never slept with anyone before?"

I shake my head slowly, glancing up at him through my lashes. 

"Right, so does it hurt?"

"Hurt?"

He furrows his brows, as if he's shocked I don't comprehend what he's talking about. 

"Yeah. I mean, you would have felt it if you've been raped."

My face flushes red and I hope Jim can't feel how sweaty my hand gets. "So... Then I didn't get- you know... Raped?"

"Nah, it's fucking impossible, I swear." he chuckles lowly. 

There is a sweet look in his eyes and I can't help but blush as he doesn't break eye contact. Suddenly he wiggles his brows with a funny face and a stupid, girly giggle leaves my mouth. Gosh, what's happening with me?

"Thank you for listening. And thank you for waiting." I sigh with a shaking breath. Then I throw my arms around his throat and hug him. He turns stiff and for a while I think he's about to push me away, but then he puts his arms around my waist and hugs me back.

"Thank you." I whisper and breath in the scent of his jacket. 

Jim breaks the hug and I stay completely quiet as I wait for him to say something. But instead he leans down until his nose touches my cheek. Oh. I inhale a sharp breath and he puts his hands behind my neck and softly presses his lips against mine. His mouth is warm and the kiss is light as a feather. When his tongue slides against my lip I let out a low moan which makes him sigh against my mouth. 

None of us say anything as he breaks the kiss. He just looks at me with a mix of confusion and doubt. Does he regret it? I get the answer to my question as he leans forward and quickly pecks my lips. He grins as he walks away from me.

"Aren't you gonna' eat some pizza?"