The basketball diaries - Leonardo DiCaprio fanfic

37

Jim took my virginity the 31st of July, the day before his birthday. I was stoned before I even got to his place and luckily he was too which must have eased some of the tension because I'm pretty sure we both knew what was going to happen. 

We just sat on his bed for about thirty minutes so he could hold some interrogation towards me. Apparently he thought it was very, very suspicious and illusive that I am a virgin at 16. 

"Ya shore' yer not lesbian or sum'?" he keeps asking which makes my face flush every time which he seems to think is very funny so soon he's just straight up goofing off on me.

I push him hardly in the chest so he falls down onto the mattress, but unfortunately succeeds to bring me down with him. He looks at me with a corny smile as I awkwardly hold my palms against his bare chest. 

I gather up some courage and then start kissing the skin underneath his collarbones. I can feel his heartbeat and now it's my turn to goof off on him because his heart is beating utterly fast. 

When we come down to the real deal it doesn't hurt as much as last time we tried. I try to keep my focus on the pleasure in his blue eyes and the way his dirty blonde hair brushes against my forehead as he moves above me. 

Somehow, through all the discomfort of just loosing my virginity, he succeeds to make me come. It's the most absurd feeling and beats every high I've ever had. It's almost even more enjoyable to watch the expression on Jim's face as he reaches the limit himself. 

"What are you doing tonight?" Jim asks after we've been laying quiet for a while.

"I have to go home." I quickly say. I'm not risking dad going crazy over me missing.

Jim rolls his eyes. "You're so fun to be with." he says ironically and stands up from the bed.

I don't know what I expected to happen after you had sex with someone but it's definitely not this. It doesn't feel like anything has changed; he doesn't look at me with care or passionate love.

Jim picks up my jeans from the floor and literally throws them in my face. 

"Laur' get up." Jim says and I realize he is hovering over me where I'm still laying on the matress, my head hanging out over the foot of the bed. He pokes me on the cheek, a humored look on his perfect face.

"You look like you've just shit bricks." 

Oh, can he just stop with his disgusting way of talking?

I drag myself out of the bed and do my best at covering my naked body as I try to pull on my jeans.

"Shit!" I yelp as I try to get my foot into the jeans but end up tripping; making a loud rip come from the jeans. "Fucking shit!"

"What happened?" Jim asks calmly, grabbing my arm and taking my jeans away from me as if it's the most normal thing ever to be pulling clothes off from me.

"Oh shit. They ripped." Jim grins and gives me a pat on the hip before walking away to his wardrobe. "Here, barrow a pair of mine."

He hands me a pair of blue jeans that must be far from my own size; but with a belt they end up fitting quite nicely. I can't stop looking at my own reflection in the mirror on the wall. I'm completely in love with what I see; my hay-colored hair is messy, face blossoming and the jeans are baggy in the most douchebag looking way.

When I look over across the room I find Jim looking at me. When our gazes meet he nods awkwardly and walks over to the window. "Let's go then. I'll walk with you a bit."

I'm surprised to feel a cold wind against my body as we get out onto the street; winter is really around the corner!

We walk in quietness. Jim swallows down a pill and I mimic him by taking one of the pills I have  stored in my jacket. Soon it's not awkward at all to walk with a jackass New Yorker by my side who doesn't say a word because he doesn't feel like it.

I try to crook my arm in his but he meanders loose. Wow. Thanks a lot! I don't think I've ever been as close to heartbreak as in this moment. I mean, come on, can't he at least pretend that he likes me a bit? Just for today, since he just took my virginity which means I'm literally emotionally bound to him now.

"Laura." 

I look to the side only to see that he is holding out his big hand for me. 

"What?" is all I'm able to say. Does he really-? Does he really want to hold my hand?

He raises his brows and shakes his hand in the air. It's an obvious signal, right? I gather some courage and then put my shaky hand in his warm one. He confidently interlock our fingers which makes my face turn pitch red. The butterflies are going completely crazy in my stomach!

"You're so cute." he smiles and eyes me up and down. Then he leans down into my neck while still walking:

"And I took your virginity." he whispers huskily. 

.

I wake up in a very good mood Monday morning. It's the first of august, AKA Jim's birthday. I feel like a stupid dork as I put the bracelet I bought him into my bag. How am I even going to dare giving it to him? What if he just laughs it off and gives it back?

My mood stays good during the trip to school because I swallow down an Up-pill and today is the first day ever no junkie disturbs me on the subway.

It's not until I walk through the corridors of Saint Agatha that my state of mind takes a quick turn. Everyone, and then I mean everyone is staring at me; even the small, prep-girls who never speak start whispering as I walk past.

There is a bunch of girls gathered around my locker who quickly spreads as I arrive. My mouth drops open as I see what's written onto the metall of my locker.

SLUT

I can't believe my eyes. What in the world is going on? 

"Hey, Laura." it's Nancy. The sight of her makes me want to throw up.

"Y-yes?" I stutter and swallow back the tears.

"Have you and Jim fucked?" 

Oh Jim, what have you done.

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