The basketball diaries - Leonardo DiCaprio fanfic

45

"Breath in, and out."

In and out I, repeat in my head but the panic does't dissolve and neither does the hunger for just a little touch of any substance that'll leave me nodded out.

"Focus on your breathing, Laura. Nothing else." says sister Mary-Lee. "Forget about everything except your consistence. Your feet are on the ground, you're safe. Push all the bad thoughts away."

If I remember it right I've spent about three days at the church. The quietness and holiness of the place have started to seep through my body. I've joined the choir which practices every day and when I'm not doing that I'm reading a book.

I still haven't went to school after that party, but I am today since I'm sure I won't die from it. I don't even reach my locker until I spot Aaliyah come running.

Her face is twisted in an angry looking worry. "Where have you been?! Everyone thought you were dead!"

E-excuse me? Me, dead?

"What? Why would I be?"

"Because- you've been so low and the whole drug scene?"

"So I disappear for like two days and everyone thinks I'm dead? But every other guy in the city can ditch school for a week and everyone says they're probably fine?"

"Well. Well... Yes."

This is so pathetic! All of it! Can people stop assuming my ability to deal with things?!

"Stop thinking I'm so weak, that just because I'm a girl I can't take care of myself!" I spit out.

Okay, calm down Laura. Calm down! Think of Mary-Lee and what she would have wanted me to do.

"Go check up on Jim instead. He needs help, I don't." I say, in the calmest tone I can possibly put on.

Aaliyah swallows.

"He's been worried about you, Laura... He thought you would run away... Or take your life even."

"What? I would never... He's just making that up to make you more worried. Remember what he did to you?"

"Jim and I are over that now." she tells me.

I can't help but gape. How can someone just get over things like that?

"You can't forgive him for what he said!"

"I can do whatever I want. Fights like that happen all the time in these neighborhoods. It's not a big deal and we all get over it."

"But what he said, about you hurting yourself..." I whisper.

In a matter of seconds Aaliyah has pulled up her sleeve to reveal nasty looking scars all over her forearm. I do my best to hold in the gasp I so much want to let out. Why did she do that? Hurt herself like that? And how dare Jim tell people about it?

"Stop looking like you've seen a ghost or something." Aaliyah hisses and quickly lets her sleeve fall down again. "I'm tired of your wining."

My wining? What's that supposed to mean?

"You have to let things go. New York is pure shit for people like us and everyone betrays everyone but we just have to let it go."

"Okay..."

"Okay?" she repeats with brows raised.

"Yes. I know I can be overwhelming and I'm sorry for that. I shouldn't let out my problems on you. Will you forgive me?"

Aaliyah just gapes. "Girl, why you talking like some saint? Just call me a bitch for fuck's sake."

On the way to class I try to tell her why it's important to not say words like bitch, and motherfucker (very hip words to use in these neighborhoods).

I also explain to her how a good manner saves people from getting into trouble. She just stares at me as if I'm speaking Chinese or something. If only she and all other kids in Manhattan could go to Mary-Lee they would get what I'm saying!

For the upcoming weeks I do my work in a robot-like manner. I wake up and eat breakfast with the nuns, go to school, go home and do homework, sing with the choir, eat dinner and then go to sleep. It's a comfortable routine and I wouldn't mind keeping to it for the rest of my life.

I stay away from everyone but Aaliyah. She doesn't even mention Jim which I'm very thankful for. He obviously doesn't care for me because he hasn't done any try in talking to me. I still haven't seen him since the fight he had with Aaliyah. He's just like a long lost memory. I can barely imagine him in front of me anymore.

.

"Laura, take this and clean the floors by the pews are you kind." sister Mary-Lee says.

I nod with a smile and start working. I'm so caught up in the process that I don't notice the door to the church opening and the person who steps inside.

"Laura, will you go to that kind boy and ask him if he wants help with something. Then you can finish work for today." Mary-Lee orders and I give her a soft nod before slowly turning to the door.

My good mood is vanished in less than a second. The sight of him makes every ounce of pureness escape my body and I'm back to the troubled teen with an abusive father and an addiction in the going.

I feel my heart start beating faster in my chest as we keep looking at each other. His gaze is gentle but his body is giving me the same threatening vibes it always has given. He is bad news.

With stern steps I approach him and he waits for me, not breaking eye contact. I had completely forgotten how he looked. The soft blonde hair... The eyes that are so intense, as if he's always looking at a prey... His tall figure that can make you feel so good and safe... The only weakness on him is the bandage around his hand that I very much know is my fault.

"Can I help you with something?" I ask in a voice that will indicate to him that we don't know each other.

Jim doesn't even open his mouth and his expression stays blank even though I know that there are constantly running around thousands of thoughts in that head of his.

With a soft sign I turn around from him. I have to stay focused, I can not lose my self control after all the work I've done to get it. Inner peace, Laura.

"Laura."

His voice makes me jump. I blink repeatedly as I turn toward him again.

"What are you doing here, Jim?"

Long time ago since I updated but I will post next chap quickly VOTE❤️❤️