Councel Me {a Frerard Fic}

Chapter 14

The next couple days went by as a blur.

It was Friday, and I hadn't cut for almost a week now. I was quite proud of myself.

I still felt the itch. It never went away.

Frank was Suppost to take me on a date Tonight. Like a real first date. I have to say I was very exited.

Mikey arrived home that day after I had my little melt down and had to call Frank over.

When I woke up I wasn't in franks arms, he had already left. He must've told Mikey what happened.

I feel ashamed that I act like a baby all the time.

Mikey and Frank Shouldn't have to put up with me being a little baby.

I hope they now that I really am trying.

Anyway, like I said, it was Friday. And it was about 4 already meaning that Frank Was sent to come pick me up for dinner soon.

I waisted the whole day away watching some dumb TV show. It was a horror show and, though it was terrible, I couldn't take my eyes off it.

At around 4:15 I heard a knock at the door.

Mikey was off at a friends house, so I remembered to shut off all the lights and the TV.

I opened the door, and saw Frank standing there. He smiled at me.

"Ready?" He said nervously. His cheeks were flushed and pink. I could tell how nervous he was.

I locked hands with him and leaned in to kiss him.

"Does that answer your question?" I said grinning at him.

He smiled and nodded and started to pull me to the car. He opened the car door for me.

I climbed into the car and buckled my self in. Frank hopped in the passenger side.

He hadn't told me were exactly we were going, so When we got to the 5 star restaurant I was ecstatic.

"Frank this is high class!!" I exclaimed.

A smile grew on his face. "only the best for you." he said.

We walked inside and were seated at a table for two.

The waiter had us order are drinks and we decided to talk.

"So Gee.." he said to me. Damn he was cute.

"Yeah?"

"You..you never told me why you were in counseling in he first place." he asked me curiously.

"I....uh...well" I really didn't want to tell him at all. I didn't want him.

He smiled and grabbed my hand from across the table.

"It's okay, you don't have to if you don't want to. I won't force you to do anything." He said letting out a sigh.

I could tell it was bothering him that I wouldn't tell him. But, if he knew about everything, he surely wouldn't like me anymore.

"I'm sorry..." I said.

He traced a line on my hand to comfort me.

When are food came a few minutes later we just sat in silence and ate.

The after about 5 minutes I decided to ask Frank.

"So why do you go?" I said to him, hoping he wouldn't keep it a secrete like I did.

"When I was a kid, my parents would fight all the time. I just wanted to be normal. My dad drank and he would call me fat and worthless. My mom finally divorced him. I started self harming after I got depression around the age of 11. I didn't fit in with the other kids. I wanted to be Like them so badly. After I moved out, I met Ray. I quit self harming a while ago after I met Ray and he became my best friend."

"So why do you still go?" I said curiously. I felt bad that such a beautiful person could have even done that to themselves.

"Ray knows I still have a few self image problems and urges to self harm, so he tells me if I want to keep staying with him, I have to stay in until I work out some things." He said. He looked down at the ground.

He almost seemed ashamed that he had self image problems. He never came off to be the type that has that.

I interlocked fingers with him.

"Awh Frankie, don't be embarrassed or something, you can trust me." I assured him
-
After we had Frank took me back to his house. Ray was sitting on the couch Downstairs.

We walked up to Franks room and lay down on his bed together. It was only 7, but we both just wanted to lay with EAchother.

"Frank I think I'm ready to tell you." I said as Frank played with my hair, his other hand resting on my chest.

"Are you sure?" He said. This is what I love about him, he always thought of other people's feelings first.

I nodded and snuggles closer to his warm body.

"So, when I was 9, I was diagnosed with severe anxiety." I sighed out.

"It was really bad, I was so afraid of everything. I was afraid of the world. Then in highschool, I came out gay. That's when my dad, he would, beat me. He did NOT want his son to be gay. It didn't help my anxiety, it just made it worse. That's when I started to self harm." I looked up at Frank who was listening intensly.

His fingers were still dancing on between my hair and rubbing my head.

"Then my dad, he got put in jail in my last year of Highschool. Once I was an adult, my mom moved away, leaving me Mikey. Mikey and I moved in together and bought a house. And now it's been 4 years and last month, I tried to.."

I closed my eyes tight. I felt Frank rub my sholder and hold me a little tighter. A tear escaped my eyes.

"I tried to commit suicide..." I barely made out before I broke into tears.

Frank turned his face to mine. He kissed my lips, Wet from tears, and stroked my cheek gently.

He smiled still cupping and face.

"S-o I was put into counseling." I said sniffling and pulling my face into his chest.

"And your anxiety is still there?" He said curiously.

"Yeah it's always been something I struggled with. I was on medication as a kid but I stopped taking it when I was 17." I shrugged.

I smelled in Franks scent. His arms stay wrapped around me and he plants a kiss onto my forehead.

I could feel his chest falling up and down, and his face gently laying on my Snow White hair.

"Well your Safe now. I promise."
___________________________
So guys there's this movie called 'The Suicide Room' and I have watched it 10 times in the last two days.

It's a polish movie so it's in Polish but there are English subtitles. I know forgiven movies are lame BUT THIS ONE IS SO GOOD

It's about this boy, Dominik, who is gay and his parents won't accept him, so he goes online and meet this girl called 'suicide room' and throughout the movie you see Dominik Slowly Breaking to the point of no return, it's on YouTube GO WATCH IT.

WARNING✖️ PLEASE DO NOT TRY TO WATCH IT IF YOU ARE EASILY TRIGGERED. I WONT BE RESPONSIBLE FOR ANYTHING IF YOU DECIDE TO WATCH IT. ITS A VERY INTENSE MOVIE

-Emily xoxo