Councel Me {a Frerard Fic}

Prolouge

This was it. I'm going to do it. I have nothing to live for. Sure I have Mikey but I can't stand the constant abuse to myself. I hate to leave him like this I know I will have left him in good hands. He has Mom and he is a smart boy. Mikey was always the one light in my life I had everyday, no matter what. We played music and video games together, we goofed off and disobeyed my mom. When he was little, some times late at night he would come in my bedroom, climb into my bed, and ask me a million questions that were on his little brain. He'd ask me about our distant family he hadn't met, he'd ask me about high school and what it was like. Sometimes he would ask me about god. See that question, I didn't know the answer to. It wasn't a simple thing to answer. I wasn't so sure myself back then. I would pat his head, cuddle him up and tell him not too worry about that sort of thing.

Course if I were to answer now, I would tell him what I really thought. If god is real, he doesn't give a damn about me. He probably doesn't about any of us. See if gods real he's got me convinced we are just a small side project for the dude. A side project he tossed in his closet after it didn't turn out right and started a new one. Forgetting we even exist.

You know, it's funny how it's ending this way. I always new It would come to this, Me telling myself it was finally over. The last few months have only been a blur. Me planning this. And now I'm finally gathering up the courage to do it. I felt it every morning, every night. My gut twist and turned inside my body begging to just be put to rest. It's strange how people think depression is just crying at night and feeling sorry for yourself. Sometimes it's 9am and you're in your kitchen, waiting for some toast to pop out of the toaster. And it hits you, and you stare out the window and think and think until your eyes are red and puffy. You let the toast burn. See that was every moment for me. I can't remember the last time I was truly happy.

And I am ready now. Ready to finally make this feeling go away. Feeling nothing seems easier than just feeling sorry for myself all the time.

The cold air filled my lungs mixed in with the smoke of my ciggerette. I tossed it into the ground and let out my last sigh. I wasn't scared. If anything I was relieved. It was my time to go.

I took my last breath and stepped into the road.

___________________________

THIS IS JUST THE PROLOUGE.

So this book starts off with the First 4 chapters of my other book. The other Frerard Book I wrote, had some sort of a glitch in it so I could see how many people read it or anything. It was called don't fear the reaper. So what I did was I took those 4 chapters and copied and pasted them to this story and then continued writing.

Thanks for reading, I might not have a caption for all of them so until next time!

Thanks 💖 -Emily