The Shadow of Our Past

Calm

A flowery perfume invades my senses as I wake. The bed under me is far too soft to be my own, a crown of pillows above my head. Forcing my eyes open, I shift my arm to prop my head up. Memories finally start to come back to me as my eyes flit about the room. I don't remember falling asleep, but I do smile at the memory of watching Kira drift off while we watched a stupidly funny show. Her face was so tranquil and down right adorable. The arm bracing me falls away and my head plops down on the pillows again, lips still curled in a joyful grin. Studying the ceiling, I lose myself in my thoughts. This bliss between Kira and myself can't last and we both know it. Shadows follow us even on sunless days, seemingly impossible to shake. A pit of dread sits in my stomach, growing as my thoughts become more and more worried. I don't have the strength to keep us safe, do I? How could Kira ever want me if I was tied to her past, to her pain? But I have to remind myself she does. All that matters is when the time comes, I can be strong for her if not for me.

My thoughts come to a screeching halt when beautiful singing filters in from the kitchen. The words are muffled by the wall, but I can recognize the voice is Kira's. Her singing is enough to motivate me to scramble out of bed, slowly open the door and tiptoe down the hallway.

"...the one that makes your heart beat in time. Those first notes send shivers down your spine." My eyes widen at how impressive her voice is, but I don't dare peek around the corner and disturb her. "You grew up tall and you grew up fast, had some bad days but you know they won't last. Oh life is full of winding turns, so you play that song when it starts to hurt."

Recognizing the song, my lips move of their own accord and start to whisper the lyrics, "out and in the record spins, the needle still going strong. Good or bad, happy or sad you're always gonna sing along." Her singing slows, noticing my own muttering. Footsteps draw closer and her head peaks around the corner. I grin stupidly as her eyes widen.

Instead of saying anything, I reach out for her hand. When she takes it, I lead her back into the kitchen, singing as I go. "Years went by and you didn't try, man with nice manners didn't make you cry. Counting down until your wedding day. And you play that song and dance the night away." She smiles, reaching up on her toes to kiss my singing lips. My hands settle on her waist, thumbs running up and down her sides. Our kiss turns passionate, the little sounds she makes provoking me further. The song continues, but neither of us hear it. We're both too focused on each other to even register the world around us. She pulls away, but I lean forward again after a moment. Her hands clutch my back and I lower my arms to lift her up. With two steps forward I seat her tenderly on the counter, moving a few decorations and papers out of the way.

Out and in the record spins, the needle still going strong. Good or bad, happy or sad, you're always gonna sing along.

My unrelenting lips pull away from hers and she gasps with a lovely tone. I nuzzle my head in the crook of her neck to kiss her soft skin tenderly.

Stayed up late with your headphones on, thinking back on every time you played that song. Even now your heart skips a beat, it's your dearest friend playing on repeat.

"Well good morning to you too," she laughs breathlessly, kissing the top of my head tenderly.

I murmur, "good morning," in return. "You should sing more," I state blatantly, looking up at her with a loving gaze. She blushes and looks down at the tiled floor.

"Maybe I should, if this is the result of it."

A laugh bubbles from my throat in return. "Play your cards right and it surely can be."

She hums, returning my playfully mischievous grin with a bashful smile. I take a step back, helping her off the counter with an outstretched hand. "I was making pancakes, if you want some," she offers as she picks up a whisk from the counter.