The Shadow of Our Past

Scars

"Yes," I respond, waiting intently for Kira to continue. She sits with her head bowed, breathing in and out raggedly with fear. She is struggling and I want nothing more than to ease her through this, but I have no idea how I can.

"I'm sure you remember how I nearly punched you, or that I was probably murmuring in my sleep?" I nod, being sure to let her speak and give her my undivided attention. It takes her a few more moments and deep breaths to speak again. "I have nightmares, memories. They're about something that happened in my past," she all but whispers the last part, the words visibly painful to say. I remember seeing her twitching and mumbling under her breath the day we met. It was terrifying to see then, but I wouldn't be scared by it now.

"He-" she starts again. "I made a terrible mistake. I met up with what I thought was a boy who was my age." She peers up at me with broken eyes that silently take me in as if it may be the last time. I feel my heart plummet at her next words even though I expected them from what she's said already. "That boy was your dad."

I sharply breathe in, feeling a pang of shock and pain hit me square in the chest. I watch her shutter as she further explains. "I realized what was going on too late. I was already in the house with the door locked behind me. I was- He."

"You don't have to keep going," I stop her from continuing and she nods gratefully. Hot tears are rolling down my face now, matching Kira's. She puts her head in her hands and sobs, nearly causing me to break down too. I'm afraid to touch her in her frail state, so I offer my hand if she wants it. I hopelessly watch her crumple into herself, willing my own tears away so I can be here for her.

A shaky hand reaches for mine after a few minutes, tugging weakly at me. Sliding off the table, I bring myself to kneel on the ground in front of her as if she is a frightened animal.

My lips graze against the skin of her hands, pressing a reassuring kiss to her knuckles. She looks up to me with teary eyes, those same ocean blue irises that I'm rapidly falling for. My other hand wipes the tears from her cheeks while she takes time to recover.

"You're the first person I've told," she squeaks out. My hand grips hers harder, but not to the point of hurting her. Looking up at her, I realize I have a hard decision to make. If I let this growing relationship continue, Kira will have to face her past. Seeing the broken woman before me, I know it would be selfish to put my wants in front of her needs. How could she even be around me now? I have to leave her, because the shadows that drag behind my family are indestructible. "It's been two years since it happened. And if I'm honest, you're the best thing that's happened to me in those years." I smile at her, my heart warming and breaking all in the same moment.

I pull away from her, returning to my position on the coffee table. "Kira," I say with confliction. "I can't let you be around him." She squints her eyes at me in confusion, waiting for me to continue. "I can't keep coming to the shop, I can't be around you because my dad lurks around the corners I'm confined to."

"What?" She murmurs with sorrow. She bows her head and a pang of guilt shoots me in the heart. Once more she looks up at me, furious yet sad. "Did you not hear me? I just told you how you're the best thing that's happened to me in what feels like forever. I just told you something I've never told another soul and this is what you're going to do?" Her anger is rising fast as she realizes what I'm implying.

"I'm sorry," I try to calm her as I stand, "I care, believe me I do."

"Then why are you stopping something that's not even started?!" She snaps as she shoots up to follow me. I look down at her now and it kills me to meet her fierce gaze. I glance away, running a hand through my hair in pure stress.

"I don't want to," I explain sincerely. "But you have no idea what he can do to a person." The moment I say it, I wish I can take it back. Kira stares back at me, her emotion only showing in her eyes. I see their icy blue change from anger to heartbreak, then nothing.