In Love With Formula 1

Part 43

The cup of tea I made was now cold and I was waking up after falling asleep, I had an awful hangover and my muscles ached so much, I didn't completely remember what had happened but it was now Boxing day which I always found to be better than Christmas day.

I shuffled my feet across my apartment to the bathroom and I had a really long shower trying to wash the hangover off of me, it didn't really work so I got in to a hoodie and some shorts and filled a bottle of water up. I put some shoes on and picked up some dark sunglasses before walking down to the harbour.

It was around 3pm by this point so it was quite warm but I knew the sea air would do me good for my hangover, I didn't bother sitting on a bench I found a bit of harbour which wasn't too full with fancy boats and I sat with my feet hanging off of the side leaning on the railings watching the sea and sky. 

Monaco was always a bit quieter in the winter, not by much but there was an obvious decrease in tourists, it was peaceful here for once, there was little to no traffic and all the shops were still closed, there were only the odd couple of people having a walk.

I was looking out to the sea and was just thinking about how far I had come, a year ago no one knew who I was and I was losing my mind at home in England. I also started thinking about how these F1 drivers have changed my life, they were some of the best people ever, they sacrificed so much for their careers, like Daniel hasn't seen his family in almost 3 years.

I started thinking about Lando and how he has literally stuck with me since we met, he barely knew me and still wanted me around and I've never had people care about me like he does and how all of the other drivers do.

I was just sipping my water when I got a notification on my phone, I opened it and saw that it was someone tagging me in the comments of this one tweet, it was a picture of Lando and this girl, she looked like a model, the caption was

'Lando Norris suspected to be dating instagram model Harley Reubens'

I looked at the photos that had surfaced and saw that she was gorgeous, so much prettier than me, she had this beautiful long ginger hair and these big blue eyes and her figure was amazing, her stomach was sculpted and she was toned all around.

I just bit my lip and nodded my head accepting once again that my commitment issues were stopping me from getting anywhere with anyone. I wasn't even sure if I had feelings for Lando but I just turned all my emotions off straight away, I put my phone back down and drank my water.

I got up and walked for hours, I ended up at the top of this hill right at the top of Monaco, it was right by a cliff and looked out on to the sea, I stood there for a while and once again looked out to the sea just thinking about what if whatever happened with Lando was a lie.

I sat in this field by the cliff until it was dark and walked back to my apartment with my head completely empty, I couldn't think of anything. I walked in and when straight to sleep, leaving the cup of tea from the night before on the side still.

I led in bed staring at the ceiling just thinking if I was even worthy of being loved or wanted, I always ran away from this stuff, I was never the one to stay around when someone said they liked me but I never went for someone else 3 days after I left them. 

My phone buzzed on my side table and I rolled over with a sigh to see who it was. Kelly had texted me

'If you really like him, show him what he's missing' 

She always sent me messages like this and they were always meant with good intentions, I think she felt like she had a duty to act like my big sister, I read it and replied with a red heart and thought about how I was going to show him, I was mainly focusing on Harley, I mean I couldn't compete with her but if I could make her feel my presence that would be enough for me.

I woke up the next day and decided that today was a good day to do one of the articles a journalist wanted me to do, it was about my personal life and my struggles as well as how I met Lando because I had become quite a big part of the Mclaren team thanks to him.

I made sure to sound like myself but make sure I was getting the point across, I went in to loads of detail about how me and Lando met and how he was 'flirting' with me from day one. I sent a few pictures we had together to the journalist to use in the article as well, one of them being that one of us down at Monaco harbour when we first met. 

I sent the article across in the morning and it came back to me to be confirmed for it to be released tomorrow. Tomorrow I was packing to go to Italy, the article would be coming out first thing Monday morning, I was happy with what I wrote and it gave people a bit more insight on my other passions and friendships I have. 

The small documentary Jennie and I did about my school life and where I grew up was released at midday on Sunday and I had some messages from people about how sweet my DT teacher was.

Lando had texted me again

'Izzie I just want to make sure you are okay, we're worried about you'

'We?' I replied

'Don't tell me it's that Harley girl that makes it 'we'' I added 

'What if it is?' He said back

'You have got to be kidding me Norris, I left 3 days ago, was everything you said to me a lie?'

'No'

'What the fuck is going on then because I'm not going to be there at your disposal if things don't work out, I'm not a second choice Lando, you either want me or you dont'

'Izzie, don't say that'

'Why, you picked Lily-Rose over me and now you pick Harley over me, I get it, I'll leave you be, you really fucked it this time Norris'

I slammed my phone on the kitchen counter and I was so angry at him, but mainly I was angry at myself, I didn't do anything to keep him around, it was fair for him to do that but it still hurt.

I decided I would move my flight earlier, to Monday morning instead of Monday evening, I packed my bags and went to the airport straight away, I was so angry I knew I just needed to get away from everything.

I slept on the flight there it was only 2 hours, I could have driven there but I really couldn't be bothered, I checked in to my hotel and went to my room and went straight to bed. I woke p throughout the night to my phone buzzing from different people but I just ignored it, I was waiting to get to work the next day, I was going to win the championship this season and move to f4 or f3, I had that goal and that was it. 

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A/N Just wanted to say a massive thankyou for the continued support with my story. There have definitely been a few twists. 

I also wanted to say that the uploads were a bit later today because I was at the pub getting drunk with my friends but ITS RACE WEEKEND!!!!

I want to hear all of your predictions for quali tomorrow and the race, love u all xxxxx