I Never Realized

Part 5

    Karkat said a brief goodbye to Mr. Vantas, promising to be home in a couple hours. He pulled his sweater tighter around his small frame, shivering as little white clouds formed in the fridged air. Gamzee smiled at him, and reached out, holding Karkat's smaller hand. His heart jumped, silently pleading that Karkat wouldn't snap at him.

    Instead, he blinked up at the taller boy, confused. Once when it sank in, he gave him a shy smile, hiding it a little bit with the edge of his hoodie, turning a tint of pink. They continued down the sidewalk, butterflies excitedly fluttering in their stomachs.

    Arriving to the fair, the two handed over their money in exchange for tickets, gripping onto each other's hands tighter, gazing at all if the lights and rides, concession stands, games, and food vendors.

    "Come on, lets go on the ferris wheel first!" Gamzee cried out, dragging Karkat behind him to the end of the line. Couples held hands in front of them, chattering and sharing sweets like cotton candy and churros. Karkat's smile slowly faded, and Gamzee took notice.

    "Hey," he said, nudging Karkat with his elbow, "What's wrong?" He looked concerned, tilting his head slightly. This was supposed to be a fun night, their first date together (and in general). He'd be damned if he wasn't going to try to give Karkat a good time.

    "It's just...we can't hold hands and kiss like the other couples can. They're more free to show their feelings for each other, but we're forced to suppress and hide ours," Karkat explained a little disapointedly. Gamzee frowned, then smiled as he looped his arm over Karkat's shoulders.

    "Well, I'll tell you what, when we get to the very top of the ferris wheel," He pointed to the top, where the sky was a deep inky black and the stars were the loveliest, "I'll kiss you for the whole fair to see, and I'll be proud too, cause then everyone will know that I'll be kissing the cutest boy here," He declared, sounding pleased with himself. Karkat laughed, using his shoulder to nudge Gamzee as he rolled his eyes. It did sound nice, though.

    When they got to the front and were given their seat, Karkat watched as they were lifted higher, gazing at all of the people below. It would've been nice, but suddenly the cart was jerking back and forth, and a gleeful laugh rang in his ears. Gamzee was making their seat swing wildly, enjoying the screeching of the rusted bolts. Karkat gripped onto the safety bar, a frightened look in his eyes.

    "God dammit, Gamzee! Stop shaking us around!" He cried out, his heart jumping into his throat as he thought about a bolt flying loose and caused the seat to plummet to the dirt trodden ground. The rocking stopped, and Gamzee now laughed at Karkat.

    "Aw, were you scared?" He chuckled. Karkat bristled, baring his teeth, "No!"

    "You looked pretty scared,"

     "Well I wasn't, I just didn't want to get nauseous and throw up all over on my lap!"

    "Oh, yea, I'm sure. Hey look, we're at the top!" Taking a quick look around, Karkat noticed that they were, indeed, now perched at the tip of the ferris wheel.

    "Are you ready?" Asked Gamzee. Karkat felt a tight feeling in his throat, a panicky nervousness overtaking him. He hadn't kissed Gamzee since his confession, and one kiss wasn't enough to be completely comfortable to dive in for another one in absolute confidence. Apparently, though, Gamzee had it under control when it came to making the first move.

    The purple clad boy leaned in, taking Karkat's bottom lip into his mouth, and his own upper lip in Karkat's. The kiss was a simple one, with not much happening besides that. But still, Karkat relished in it. Forget what Kankri had said, this felt right, it felt normal.

    Gamzee pulled away, a proud smile on his face. "I told you I'd kiss you for all to see," He reminded Karkat.

    Getting off of the ride, they spent the rest of the night holding hands and going on rides that spun and twirled, laughing and sticking sweets into their mouths, sharing sticky kisses in dark shadows. Eventually, Gamzee got a text from his dad saying that it was time to go home. "I'll walk you home," He promised with a smile.

    They walked along, weaving through crowds of people. At one point, Karkat accidentally bumped into a tall boy with spikey hair and black pointy shades, who looked to belong in high school.

    "Oh, sorry," He apologized, gripping onto Gamzee's hand so he wouldn't get lost in the crowd. The blond boy glared down at the very tiny Karkat, judging by the pull of his eyebrows. "Watch where you're going, faggot."

    The words were spat out, and before Karkat could even let the meaning of them sink in, the blond boy had left briskly. Shocked and a little stunned, Karkat allowed Gamzee to pull him through the bodies, apparently not hearing what the older boy had said. The word had stung, making Karkat's heart twist up. That was such an ugly word, why would he say that?

    Escaping onto the sidewalk, Karkat dropped Gamzee's hand, putting his into his sweater pockets. Gamzee walked the smaller boy to his front door, telling him how he had fun, and that he'd text him the next day, to which Karkat gave a dull "Yea," to. Gamzee didn't notice the tone, and carried on his cheery way.

    Heaving a heavy sigh, Karkat opened the front door, giving a hello to Mr. Vantas, trudging to his room. In the gray painted room, he saw that Kankri was asleep in his bed on his half of the room. Shutting the door, he sank into his black blankets, curling up onto his side as that blond stanger's words rung around in his head.