you should see me the way I see you

2

Jaxson's POV

May 22, 2021

Fuck. Fuck. Fuck. Why did I do that? I have nowhere to go. Why did I say that? Why am I so stupid? I just lost the love of my life. I ruined our friendship. I ruined any chance of having him. I can't go home. He never even said he was gay. What the fuck is wrong with me? I should have just told him. He said that if I killed her he would never hate me. FUCK.

Last night I took Isaac's phone. just so I can copy her number. She always helps people no matter what. So I texted her.

'Hay is this Hope'

'Yes? Who is this

'Jaxson'

'What do you want

'I fucked up

'...Meet me at the ledge'

Of course, she chose something closer to the school. Well, it's a good thing I was walking that way.

"Hay" Hope yelled out to me

"Hay, so can I tell you what happened"

"Of course, everything said stays with me, unless I need help with help you."

"I know, so I fucked up. You see I like this person but I snapped and called him a fag and now I don't know what to do"

"ok so,"

Isaac's POV

It's now time to leave to go see her. She is easily one of the nicest people that can help with anything. She has platinum blond almost Wight shoulder-length hair with bangs. She has hazel green eyes and she is always wearing something the colour periwinkle, she also has a dimple on her left cheek. Oh, and she is slightly colour blind. I'm waiting for her to get to the ledge. I am very confused to why on one is here today, its easily one of the most popular teenage hangout spot in Regina. She hasn't gotten here yet. Honestly, you can tell she gets picked on at school, mainly because she doesn't act like herself at school. at school, she wears bunnyhugs and sweats not to draw attention to her. In reality outside of school, she always wears a skirt, with a different colour of poufy underskirt with knee-high socks of pastel colours. She wears platform boots, a choker, and a crop top that somehow fits her personality. And she wears a bunch of Kandi bracelets. She also only is just above my chest, she is only 5'1, I'm 5'9.

"Hey, Isaac." I looked over and saw Hope and the others

"Hey," I said back.

"So how have you been?" asked Connor...

Connor Armstrong, 17 and bi, is one of the originals that Hope told back in grade 8. he has a roundish face dark brown hair, and dark brown eyes, Connor is from the Philopenas. he has a good personality, he is nice and can joke about anything. he is 5'8.

"I've been good," I replied.

"well that's good, but we need to tell you the plan," Hope said.

"Ok, well what's the plan?" I asked.

"make Jaxson jealous," Hope said weirdly suspiciously.

"and how do you say we do that" To say I was confused was an understatement.

"isn't it obvious," said Joshua.

"Yeah, you're going to get a boyfriend." Expanded Jonah.

Joshua and Jonah Bell, 14, one gay and one poly. the twins and youngest of the group. they are identical twins the only one that can tell them apart is Hope. they have brown almost ginger wavy hair. they have blue, almost gray, eyes and freckles. we all, except the twins and Hope, just found out that the three of them are related. the three are stepsiblings. Hope and the twins share the same dad. Hope has her mums' last name. both of them are 5'6.

"WHAT!" I was surprised, to say the least.

"yeah, we know someone who said he was willing to help." Hope expand

"fine H, but who is he?"

"one of my childhood friends. you will meet him tomorrow."

***

When I entered my room I saw...

"MOM?"

"yes Isaac"

"why is Jaxson here?"

"He has something to tell you"

I felt my heartbeat pick up. I could feel the blush on my face. I started to overthink.

"Jaxson, what do you want?"

"I came here to apologize. I never let you explain and just assumed, and for that, I am very sorry. can we still be friends?" He was on the verge of tears.

I know he is truly sorry, why? because he never apologizes. And when he apologizes it is sincere.

"Y-yeah it's okay." WHAT THE FUCK. He never says sorry. Holy fuck. "Can you please leave, Jaxson, I-I have some things to do."

"yeah sure if you want" And with that, he left.

FUCK. What the hell he hasn't even apologized to Jack or Collin for anything.

***

May 25, 2021

Today is the day I get a boyfriend. Even if it is fake it can turn into something. I just need to prepare to lose friends. That means no more Jack, Lincoln, Julian, Eli, Andrew, but most important but the saddest no more Jaxson. We agreed that as soon as I see them all I have to come out, well I decided that part.

But as soon as I got to miller high school. I saw all of them. Fuck. Well, it's now or never.

"h-hay guys," I said as soon as I got close to them. Apparently, Jaxson motets that I was nervous.

"Hay Isaac, you seem nervous. Are you okay?" Jaxson said, I could tell he was worried for me.

"Hmm, Yeah I'm Fine." I lied to them, "I actually have something I want to tell you all."

"ok?"

It's now or never. It's too late to back out now.

"So before I start I want to say I have known this since grade 8, actually Hope helped me figure it out." I paused for a moment to breathe, "I-I'm, I'm gay."

"YOUR WHAT!"