Illogical Feelings (analogical college AU)

Brunch (VII)

Trigger Warning: one cuss word, hints at sexual activity, beginning of an anxiety attack.

Virgil's POV

I stared at my plate, barely even moving my fork. For brunch, Roman had taken us all out to some new café, called the Sleepy Bean or something. Sort of a stupid name in my opinion, but Patton had gasped when he saw it like it was the most amazing name in the world.

Roman cleared his throat a bit. I thought only Logan did that. "Well uh, since we really only have a brief meeting at the party, why don't we introduce ourselves?" He suggested. I shrugged. Patton clapped and squealed. "I'll go first!" He took a breath. "Okay, my name is Patton Baker, I'm a freshman and I'm majoring in psychology, I'm 19, and uh.. oh! My birthday was last week," he smiled sheepishly as we wished him a happy birthday. "I am panromantic and asexual, oh! And I'm genderfluid, I have different bracelets to show what pronouns I'm using." He rolled up his sleeve to show us. He - or rather she - was wearing a pink bracelet with beats spelling out "SHE HER" with a single bead separating the two words. "I have a blue one for he/him, and green for they/them." She smiled. Damn, she talks a lot.

"Let's see," she continued, tapping her chin. "I work at my cousin Mike's café - Oh! do y'all know Emile Picani?" She asked. "He's my cousin. Anyway," she paused to take a sip of her drink, a strawberry, boba-smoothie concoction with white tapioca balls. Not sure if letting customers fully customize their drinks is a great idea. "I love animals and bright colours!" She smiled. "And I live with my sister Jennifer, on the second floor of building D, room 203 if y'all ever wanna visit." She smiled brightly.

We all stared in silence for a moment while we processed this. She was talking too fast for me to get all of it, but I got this gist. Logan cleared his throat. "So, um, Patton," he asked, to which she nodded excitedly. "When you're wearing the pink bracelet, would you prefer a different name?" She nodded. "I prefer Payton, but I know it can get a little confusing, so my necklace will tell you which name to use." She smiled brightly, showing us the necklace that read "Payton" in golden cursive.

Roman nodded. "I suppose I shall go next. My name is Roman Cook, my twin here is Remus," he said, gesturing to his twin. "I'm 18, I'm majoring in performing arts, I'm pangender and use he/she, but unlike Payton I don't have a bracelet system. But, I'm fine with either at any time and I always use my name." He smiled. I'm bi, and I write, produce and release my own music." He blushed as Payton gushed about how cool that was. I rolled my eyes. "And I live near Payton in room 207."

Roman turned to me. "Would you like to go next?" I jumped a little, startled. "Uh, I guess?" I sat up straighter. Or I guess, as straight as I could be, which wasn't very. "I'm Virgil Lament-" Payton squealed. "Oh my gosh! Remy Lament is your brother, right? He's dating Emile!" I nodded. "Sorry, continue." She smiled. "I, uh.." I debated whether to state my gender or not. "I use he/him, b- but I guess uh, they is cool too." I mumbled. Payton nodded attentively. "It's okay, this is a safe space! A lot of us are trans or gender non-conforming." She smiled. Huh. I relaxed a little. Then I guess it's okay..

I cleared my throat. "I use he/they, I'm a demiboy, uh.. I'm gay, and demiromantic-" I paused. "Do you all know what that means?" They nodded, so I continued. "I'm a freshman, majoring in um," I faltered. It was always embarrassing to admit that I was into poetry, and even worse to say I was majoring in it. Payton gave me a reassuring glance. "I'm majoring in poetry, and I live with Logan in room 306.. actually in the same building as you, Payt and Roman." Payton clapped. I rubbed the back of my neck and sunk down as we moved on to Remus.

"I'm Remus, the better looking twin," he ignored his twin's objections. "I'm majoring in criminalology, and I'm homosexual aromantic, and I too am genderfluid. I use the same system as Emile but with rings! And I always use Remus. Oh, and I live with Janus on the same floor as these dorks, room 309," He finished, gesturing to me and Logan. I rolled my eyes.

Logan adjusted his tie. "Salutations, I am Logan Wright, pronouns he/him. I'm a cis male, 19. I took a gap year and I am now majoring in both philosophy and chemical science." There were a few "ooohs" after he said chemical science. I sighed as he resumed. "I'm biromantic homosexual and live with Virgil, as they stated."

I sort of froze. He used they. That was new. And felt.. good. Different from he, which always felt so right. But they felt.. I don't know, new, not wrong, and not as good as he, but.. good. While he would always feel more natural, maybe they wasn't so bad either.

I managed to catch the last bit of Logan's introduction before we moved on to Janus. "I also volunteer at the local animal shelter on weekends and I'm an intern at the library." Payton gasped. "Hey, I volunteer there sometimes too! Maybe we can work together!" She squealed.

Janus folded his hands on his lap. "I'm Janus, I am nonbinary and use they/them," they began. Huh.. they never told me that. Maybe they just came out, though. "I'm a freshman as well. I'd be a sophomore but I waited for a certain dumb!ss to finish high school." They rolled their eyes. I bit back a chuckle, knowing it was Remus. I'm toric or homoromantic and demibisexual, and Remus and I are in a poly.. er.." They faltered, looking at Payton. They probably didn't want to upset the cinnamon roll. "We have fun together, although we don't go on dates as Remus is aro." They finished. "And we wouldn't mind another partner!" Remus butt in. "So, nerdy wolverine, maybe you'd like to join us some time?" He wiggled his eyebrows. Logan sighed, facepalming.

Janus shot Remus a look. "Anyway," they continued. "I have a major in political studies and a minor in gender studies. I too help out at the shelter on Mondays and Thursdays, but I usually help out more with the reptiles." They examined their nails, although they weren't visible under their yellow gloves. "Oh and I actually work there, I'm not a volunteer." They smiled. Janus? Smiling? When did that happen?

Roman grinned. "Well, now that we're all introduced, let us hope we can be good friends!" He cried, diving back into his brunch after. I continued to push the eggs around my plate as everyone else ate in near silence, occasionally chatting with each other. It was mostly Payton talking, though.

"Virgil?" I looked up. Or rather, looked down. Logan had his hand on my thigh under the table. "Hm?" I hummed back. "Are you feeling okay? You've barely eaten or spoken the entire time." I nodded half-heartedly. "Just not hungry." I could tell he didn't believe me, but he let go of my leg anyway and didn't push it anymore.

I looked around the table without lifting my head. On one side, Roman, Payton, and Janus, from outer seat to inner. On the other, I sat across from Janus, with Logan and Remus on my right. This booth really isn't meant for six people. I sighed quietly, putting my fork down. I wanted to leave, but what excuse could I use? Besides, Logan and Remus were in the way. Well, Logan was. Remus had gone off to the bathroom but was now flirting with the cashier.

I let out another quiet sigh, trying to control my breathing. I could feel my anxiety levels rising and my fight or flight reflexes kicking in. No one noticed, at least, I thought no one did. Until Logan stretched in a fake yawn, stretching his arm behind my head. When it reached my shoulder, he dropped a crumpled napkin into my lap. I looked down curiously, taking out my phone and pretending to check the time. I had a feeling he faked the yawn for a reason.

Do you need to leave? When I looked up, he was giving me a sideways stare, waiting for my response. I nodded ever so slightly. Logan cleared his throat. "Well, Janus, Payton, Roman," he said, nodding to each of them in turn. "It was wonderful meeting up with you, but Virgil and I must go. We promised our neighbor we'd watch his lizard for him while he was out." Roman nodded. "Alright, oh and don't bother paying me back. It was really nothing." Logan nodded. "Very well, we'll take our leave now." "Take care," Janus said. "Bye!" Payton practically yelled, waving after us.

As soon as we left, I took a huge gulp of air. I followed Logan to his car, shaking slightly. "Are you okay?" He asked. I nodded, blaming it on the wind. He nodded, opening the door for me. I thanked him and sat down, shutting it a little harder than intended.

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sorry to end it on a cliffhanger, but I don't want this chapter to get too long. Next one will be up soon!