Illogical Feelings (analogical college AU)

Panic (VIII)

Trigger Warnings: anxiety/panic attack, swears, crying, all that jazz

Logan's POV

When we arrived back at our dorm, Virgil fumbled with the key a few times before getting it in. I could see his hands were shaking and his chest starting to heave. As soon as the door was opened, he ran inside, slamming his door shut.

I blinked in surprise. Shutting the door behind me, I went inside. Pressing my ear to his door, I could hear his breathing getting heavier and shakier. "Virgil?" No response. "I'm coming in, okay?" I slowly pushed the door open.

(A/N: Warning! Triggering content ahead)

When I walked in, I saw Virgil leaning over his desk, eyes closed and tears falling. I quietly knocked to let him know I was here. "Virgil, are you alright?" He shook his head, but still tried to smile. "Y- Yeah no, I'm uh, I- I'm fine." I didn't believe him. Slowly, I began to make my way over, careful not to knock his bag over, which was irresponsibly placed in the middle of the floor.

"Virgil, can you face me?" I kept my voice low and calm, knowing being too loud or commanding would only worsen his state. He turned to me, still not lifting his head up. "Y- Yeah?" I could hear him gasping for breath. His voice sounded raspy, like he had a sore throat or had just finished a coughing fit.

I started to reach out before pausing. "Is it okay if I touch you? I'm just going to grab your hands," I added. He nodded slowly. I took them out of his hoodie pockets, keeping a firm but loose grip on them. "I believe you are experiencing an anxiety or panic attack, possibly a mix of the two." He nodded. "I want you to breathe with me, okay?"

I placed his hands on my chest, covering them with my own. "Follow my breathing patterns. In for four seconds, hold for seven seconds, out for eight seconds." He nodded, figuratively screwing his eyes shut. I began the breathing exercise, counting for the first three rounds. "This technique is proven to help ease anxiety and will help you in times like this." I continued breathing, listening to see if he was following.

After a few more minutes, I couldn't hear him panting anymore. "Are you feeling better?" He nodded. "Good, I'm going to do it a few more times to be sure. Ready?" He nodded again, breathing in with me. After a few more times, I released his hands and he pulled away. "Did that help?" I asked. He nodded. "Y- Yeah, thanks Lo." I smiled reassuringly. "You're welcome, Virgil."

I cleared my throat. "Why don't we get you some tea and something to eat? Perhaps one of those instant noodle cups you enjoy so much?" He let out a small laugh, which I'll admit wasn't an unpleasant sound to hear. "I, uh.. sure.. That sounds good, I guess." I nodded, leading him to the kitchen.

He sat down as I put a kettle on the stove and pulled out two mugs and tea bags. "Chamomile would be best, as it has calming affects." Virgil nodded as I dropped them in the mugs. I prepared the ramen as well, adding a few diced carrots from the jar of vegetables I'd prepared last night. When the water was boiling, I poured it into both the mugs as well as the cup of ramen, depositing a fork in it and serving it to Virgil.

I stopped in my tracks. Shit. "My apologies, would you uh, prefer chopsticks instead?" I asked nervously. Virgil looked up, confused. When he saw my face, he immediately burst out laughing. I gave him a puzzled look. "What's so funny?" He gulped in air, slowly recovering from his outburst. "Your face.." he giggled in between words. "You looked so concerned, like-" he imitated my face, albeit probably very exaggerated. His eyes were bulging and he figuratively dropped his jaw to the floor. He leaned back in laughter again as I rolled my eyes.

"Well, I realized you may prefer chopsticks and didn't want to offend you," I stated, turning back to the mugs of tea. Virgil chuckled. "I know, but it's not that big a deal, dude." He smiled hugely as I handed him his mug and a pair of chopsticks from his jar. "I do prefer chopsticks, yeah, but I can still use a fork." A giggle escaped his lips. I couldn't help but admire his face, which, while it was still tear streaked and now red from laughing, was quite.. cute. And his laugh was a very enjoyable sound as well. Wait, what?

I shook my head gently, sitting across from him. He ate in silence, though I saw a smile still metaphorically plastered on his lips. Those lips. Pink and soft looking. What would it be like to kiss them? I felt my ears and cheeks heat up at the thought. Virgil glanced at me, causing him to giggle again. I looked away, not wanting him to notice my presumably now reddened face. I was sure I must've looked something like a tomato.

After we finished up, I took our dishes to the sink and washed them. "Hey Lo?" I hummed in response as Virgil hopped up on the counter next to me. "Thanks." I glanced at him, still to embarrassed to actually face him. "What for?" He rubbed the back of his neck. "For uh, helping me, with the breathing and stuff. And the tea and ramen, you really didn't have to do that." "It wasn't an issue, Virgil, I merely did what I could to help you out while you were under stress." I saw him smile out of my peripheral vision. "I know but, thanks." I felt a smile forming on my own lips.

"And thanks for the laugh," he added. "I needed it." I rolled my eyes. "It couldn't possibly have been that funny, but you're welcome." He chuckled as he slid off the counter. I assumed he left to his room, and continued doing the dishes.

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*rings bell* ANALOGICAL SIMPS, COME GET Y'ALL JUICE! IT'S EXTRA NUTRITIONAL!

but anyway, woo! another chapter pumped out, another chapter to feed me and my fellow analogical stans :) god I love them

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hey it's been a few months since I've updated! sorry abt that :( a lot has happened.

I finished my first year of high school (woo!), got a joyfriend?? (I'm v happy bc I really like them and they're poly like me so yeee) and I'm possibly gonna come out as trans! plus general life stuff.

I also was forced to delete wattpad off my phone, making it harder to consistently write and update since my laptop is slowwww and it feels like such a commitment to write on it ;-; but fear not! for I have plenty of chapters waiting to be published :) I'll probably also do some minor editing. a lot of these were written at like 1am so it's not my best work to say the least >.>

anyway, hope you enjoyed this chapter! no idea what its abt!! (edit: holy heckerooni I just read it and 1. the amount of times I spelt Virgil as Virgle.. ungodly. 2. THIS IS SO FLUFFY IT REVIVED MY LOVE FOR ANALOGICAL (I mean, not that I stopped liking it, I've just been more into logince lately but.. holy heckkk)) I should probably reread the whole thing and see where I left off lol. can't wait to be more active on here :)

take it sleazy, guys gals and pals! Phoenix out✌️ (new signature maybe?)