Fragile

Chapter 15

"You will not believe the great night I had," Kiera gushed during our morning class. 

"Where did you go?" I asked. I was worried something had happened to you. "You kind of disappeared." 

"Tom and I were really hitting it off, so we agreed to go for a drive," she winked. "I saw you with Noah, so I didn't want to interrupt." 

"With Noah?" I furrowed my brow. 

Her face fell slightly. "Did I read that wrong? I figured if you were with Noah-" 

"It's okay," I insisted, feeling guilt immediately at her reaction. "I wasn't feeling great, so Noah drove me back to the dorms." 

Her warm smile returned. "Good, I think I'd just die right here if something happened to you." 

My mind flickered back to the kiss in Noah's dorm. I tried not to blush. "Nothing happened, no worries." 

If Kiera noticed the blatant lie, she didn't comment. Instead she went on a tangent about whoever Tom was and the amazing drive and steamy make out session they had. While I filled in where I needed, my mind couldn't help but replay last night in my head. I could still feel the tingle of his lips on mine even then. 

There was so much to process from last night. The fact that the lacrosse team used the university as a hot spot for trafficking was a major siren, but even more distressing was I had to pretend I didn't know. How many girls were being taken? Was I supposed to sit back while they took girls from their rooms, their families and friends? What exactly happened to them when they were taken? What girls 'met' their criteria? 

Then there was Noah, who seemed even more confusing than before. He wasn't even a college student; he was 22! The scars on his body, were they from his job? Was he still hiding the truth from me? How was I supposed to believe what was real and fake? 

The kiss flashed in my mind again and I felt my cheeks burn. "Fay? You okay?" Kiera's worried voice pulled me out of my thoughts. 

I got up. "Just a bit nauseous, Imma get some air." 

I barely made it outside before weakly heaving over a patch of roses around the corner of the building. My head was spinning, I could barely hold onto the wall for support. 

Why was I so weak? 

People like Kiera and Noah seemed so strong in comparison. I was small, didn't really have any scars or a tan or markings that showed I lived. Truth was, up until recently, I hadn't. I couldn't remember my life before the age of eight, and part of me knew it was probably better that way. After 2 years of trying to uncover those memories in therapy at the hospital, I had decided they were probably buried for a good reason. 

Nurse Lucy always visited after my therapy session during her rounds. Out of all the nurses, she was the most dedicated to me. Even though I didn't talk and I had no real personality, she always came with a genuine smile. She never talked down to me or treated me like a child; she never looked at me with pity like the other nurses. She never pressured me to talk or do anything I was uncomfortable with. She was fine with how I was, even if it wasn't normal. 

"Nothing yet?" she had plopped down at the end of my bed, skimming my chart before checking my vitals again. "That therapist really wants you to remember, huh?" 

Of course, I didn't respond, but Nurse Lucy never seemed fazed. She would leave a slight pause in case I wanted to respond, but never for too long. And even when I didn't utter a sound, she would keep the conversation going as if I had. 

"I don't really understand why it's so important for you to remember," she had continued. "If you haven't remembered now, your subconscious probably buried it for a good reason. If it's not bothering you now, why open Pandora's box?"